New and Not So Improved
by Sparkling Draco
Summary: Edward leaves Bella - just like in New Moon - but while he is away, Bella turns into a different person. When Edward returns Bella is dumbstruck, what will happen if Edward is too late? Read and Review!
1. Preface

Preface –

**Bella Side -**

_I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,  
Or tell you that.  
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it  
where's the sense in that?_

_I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder  
Or return to where we were_

_I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be._

It's that time of the month again, but not _that _time of the month if that's what you were thinking. It's the time where I drop everything I'm doing, and just mourn. I mourn for the loss of my love, my whole life; I mourn for the fact I have to put a mask to hide the pain; but not just any mask. A demeaning one.

**Edward Side –**

_I know I left too much mess and  
destruction to come back again  
And I caused nothing but trouble  
I understand if you can't talk to me again  
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"  
then I'm sure that that makes sense_

_I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be._

It's not that I don't love her, I do; I always have and I always will. These past months have been hell, my own personal hell. I sit in my room and just stay there all day and night. It's probably not healthy but hey, I have a right to do this, I broke the love of my life's heart, and she will probably never forgive me.

**Bella Side –**

_And when we meet  
Which I'm sure we will  
All that was there  
Will be there still  
I'll let it pass  
And hold my tongue  
And you will think  
That I've moved on...._

_I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be._

I've been fretting the days that come, hoping that I wont see _him, _although I do actually want to; I just don't think I would be able to handle it. Then what would be the point of this pathetic mask? I can't even bring myself to say his name, aloud or in my mind. So what would happen if I had to look at his face again? Or even worse, talk to him. I shuddered at the thought of the outcome of that. I would probably end up on the ground in tears.

**Edward Side –**

_I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be._

I'm in love with Isabella Marie Swan, this dead heart that I have, has always silently beaten for her, and only her. What am I suppose to do? Go back for her? Remain away from her for her own safety? Only time will tell…

**Bella Side –**

_I will go down with this ship  
And I won't put my hands up and surrender  
There will be no white flag above my door  
I'm in love and always will be._

I love _him _so much, but I don't know if I can ever forgive him. I guess if the time ever came, I probably would. But until then, I'm just going to keep this ridiculous mask up and healthy.


	2. The Mask

**Chapter One :**

**BPOV**

I was rudely awoken by another nightmare; they are really starting to get on my nerves. It was currently 4:32 in the morning, _Ugh there's no use going back to sleep now; I would only have to get up in an hour any way. _I got up as my previous dream came rushing back.

****Dream****

_I was running along a deserted road, I didn't know where I was running to but I knew I had to get away from the people behind me.  
As I was turning the corner, the street turned into a forest.  
I kept running until I saw a familiar meadow, our meadow. I stopped right in my tracks, that was when I saw him but he just wasn't the same; sure he looked as perfect as I can remember, but his eyes; they weren't the golden honey colour I remember, they were crimson red.  
He looked at me and smirked, I don't know why but I was afraid of him. More than I ever have been, I started backing away as he started walking toward me. Just as I backed up to a tree he held me against it._  
"_I missed you Isabella" He said to me, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I let out a squeal of fright as he bent down to my neck and skimmed his lips across the bridge of my throat._  
"_E-Edward" I whispered._  
"_Shh, It wont take long, you wont feel a thing" He said just before beginning to bite me._

****End Dream****

I walked to the bathroom while tears started to form in my eyes, I tried my hardest to hold them back and decided to have a shower to wash all the sweat from last night's nightmare off of me. I stayed in the shower until the water turned cold, I got out of the shower and wrapped myself and then proceeded to brush my hair and brush my teeth.  
I went to my closet which had successfully upgraded from when _they _were around. I decided on a black and white stripe lace singlet with black leggings and black flat boots. **(AN: on profile)**  
I pulled into Forks High School parking lot in my red Chevy truck, preparing to put on yet another day of fake confidence.  
Once I got to school I hopped out of my truck and walked into school like I own the place. I figured, if I'm showing everyone I'm okay, I better have fun with it.

In English we were reading Romeo and Juliet, I had already read this book before, so it was a bit boring. I was sitting next to Mike Newton, a guy who has had a crush on me since I first moved to Forks but I didn't pay much attention to him. I decided I would have some fun with him, I ever so slowly reached over and put my hand on his arm, I saw him quickly straighten up; so I looked over to him and smiled to stop myself from laughing. I nearly slipped.  
Thankfully we are in the back row, so no one could see, that would be awkward. I slowly began running my fingers along his forearm. _Ha ha this is way too funny! _I thought to myself as I saw him shift again, I looked over at Mike to see that he had a blush on his cheeks and had his hand covering his mouth, I mentally laughed at him.  
While the teacher was rattling on about something in the book I leant over to Mike and whispered "Mike, I'm bored!" with a frown and placed flutter light touch's across his arm. He put his hand over my hand and started playing with my fingers and whispered "Me Too" _Gosh he is corny!_ And with that the bell rang for the end of class.  
"Finally! That was becoming unbearable" I joked with Mike  
"I know, right?" He smirked up at me.  
"Bye Mike!" I said, and blew him a kiss.

All the other classes went by in a blur until lunch came. I sat at my usual table, with all my friends; Jessica, Lauren, Angela, Mike, Eric and Tyler. I had this odd feeling that I was being watched, but when I looked around to see if anyone was watching me; no-one was. _Meh, maybe I'm just paranoid. _I thought to myself as I went to put my tray away.  
As I walked into Trig I noticed some guy sitting in the seat next to mine, as I walked closer I realised it was the school's football star Hunter Samson, he looked me up and down as I walked over to him and I gave him a flirty smile back.  
Half way through the class a note fell onto my table, I opened it and it read:

**Bella,  
I know this is late notice, but I was wondering if you wanted to go out on Friday night? A movie or dinner?  
Hunter xoxo**

I read it over, and wrote a quick reply.

_Hunter,  
That sounds like fun, what time?  
Bella xo _

He wrote back within seconds

**8?  
Hunter xoxo**

I wrote:

_It's a deal  
Bella xo_

He wrote a closing statement,

**No, no – it's a date ;)  
Hunter xoxo**

When school finished, I quickly drove home, the whole time having that same feeling that someone was watching me. I decided to occupy myself by cooking a dinner for Charlie that was a long process. After I made dinner I went upstairs to do my homework.  
After dinner, I went upstairs to bed and fell asleep quickly.


	3. Just Another Day

Chapter Two

**AN: Sorry it took me so long to update, my internet cut out and wouldn't let me connect to anything. My apologies, It'll probably happen from time to time, so just bare with me. =]**

**Xx**

**BPOV –**

I woke up at 6:42 a.m. to find that it was pouring down with rain, I groaned as I got out of bed to continue my morning routine of getting ready fir school.

After I cleaned my teeth and brushed my hair, I decided on wearing grey looking lace patterned singlet, dark grey skinny leg jeans, white polka dotted ballet flats and a black cardigan.

I grabbed a granola bar and then drove to school.

When I got to school; that was when I saw it, Lauren; my arch enemy with Tyler; my not so close friend. I decided of a way that would get at least some payback to Lauren,

I walked over to where they were holding hands and walked extra close to Tyler.

"Hey Tyler, I had a really good time last night, shall we do it again sometime?" I said with a flirtatious smile.

"Um… Um… I…" He stuttered, looking back and forth between Lauren and me.

"Call me later then? Same time as last night?" And with that, I gave him a kiss on the cheek and walked off.

As I was walking off, I could hear Lauren yelling at Tyler.

"What was that all about Tyler?!" She yelled at him.

"Uh… I swear nothing happened! I don't know why she would do that!" He replied, looking somewhat confused.

I was laughing as I walked into my first class of the day, Biology. This is the only class where I let my mask down, and just sit and do my work. It just doesn't feel right to be anyone but _his _Bella in this class; the class where _he_ nearly killed me, the class where _we_ first met, and the class that I loved so much; now it's just a reminder that _he's_ gone.

While I was doing my work on cells, work I've already done in Phoenix; I could feel eyes on me, so I looked around to where I thought the person or thing was; out the window, and I thought I saw something move. I stared at it for a while trying to see whatever it was again; until the teacher called on me to answer a question that I didn't hear.

I just shrugged the movement off as my imagination, _Oh well, must have been my eyes playing tricks. I do weird things when I'm bored I guess._

The rest of the day went by in a blur as usual, once again, until lunch where I decided to find my next "victim". I walked over to the table of jocks and sat on Chris Temple's lap.

"Sup Chris! Hey Guys!!" I smiled hugely at him, I know for a fact that he likes bubbly girls.

"Um, not much Bella, how about you?" He replied nervously, putting his hands on my lap while the other guys smiled at me.

"Oh you know, not too much." I said while swinging my legs.

"Um Bella? May I ask why you're sitting on my lap?"

"What?! You don't want me to?" I sulked with a playful pout on my lips

"No, no it's fine. I was just wondering" He said a little too eagerly, this made me smirk.

"GUESS WHAT?!" I almost yelled to him.

"What?"

"I got a date on Friday! Jealous?!" I said, leaning into his chest while playing with his fingers.

"Of you? Or the guy?" I said sceptically.

"Oh, of me duh! I mean come on. It's Hunter for crying out loud!" I smirked with a wink.

"Really? How'd Hunter score you?" He seemed honestly interested.

"Well, it's a thing; I'm not sure if you know it. It's called asking!" I joked and he chuckled.

"I should do stand-up comedy, right?!" I said with fake enthusiasm in my voice.

"You'll blow them away Bella" He joked back.

"For sure!" I said with a wink.

After I got home from school, I went inside to make Charlie dinner, I was making Chicken Schnitzel tonight.

While I was making it, I got a phone call.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver

"Hey Bella?" I knew that voice anywhere.

"JACOB!!!! OH MY GOSH, HOW ARE YOU?!" I said, pure enthusiasm visible in my voice.

"Hey Bells, I'm good how are you?" He said, not as much enthusiasm in his voice.

"I'm good!"

"Whatcha Doin?" Oh how I missed Jake.

"Cooking dinner for Charlie, how about you? I have seen you in so long! I miss you" It was true.

"I'm not doing much, about to eat dinner actually. I miss you too Bells."

"I loved talking to you Jake, thank you so much for calling, but listen; I have to go because I'm still cooking. Promise me you'll come and see me soon?" I asked hopeful, and disappointed that I had to get off the phone.

"Oh sorry Bella, I should've known; I promise to come up and see you soon, Bye Bells."

"Bye Jake! Love you" And with that, I hung up.

I was just finishing dinner when Charlie came home.

"Bella?" He called out.

"Hey Dad, in here." Who else would it be?

"How was school?" Same routine.

"It was fine, same as always, how was work?"

"You know, same as everyday. Not much happening at the station these days."

"Sure sure" I thought I saw him smile at that, I picked it up from Jacob. That's probably why.

"Well dinner's ready, so do you want to eat in the T.V room? Or the Table?"

"Uh, the game isn't on for a while, so how about we eat at the table?"

"Sounds good, I'll set the plates."

"Okay sweety."

Dinner was a quiet event, so after that I said Good-Night to Charlie and went up to my room to do homework and go to sleep.

Just as I was drifting off to sleep, my cell phone started ringing, the caller i.d said private number.

_Bring-Bring-Bring-Bring_

"Hello?" I said kind of rudely as I was tired.

"Hi Bella?"

**AN: OOO! Hehe sorry I had to stop it there because I'm mean =] Who do you think it is?!xx**


	4. Phone Call

_Just as I was drifting off to sleep, my cell phone started ringing, the caller i.d said private number._

_Bring-Bring-Bring-Bring_

"_Hello?" I said kind of rudely as I was tired._

"_Hi Bella?"_

_* * * *_

Chapter 4

**BPOV**_  
_

"A-Alice?" I stuttered, I recognized the tinkling in her voice but it was different somehow.  
"No, it's Rosalie" The voice said in a hushed tone, _oh that's why the voice sounded different.  
_R-Rosalie? W-Why are you calling me?" I stammered, even more shocked than I was before._  
_"Well, Alice had a vision of you.. And you weren't being yourself.. She says it has her disappointed and worried about you." _of course_, "May i ask what you are doing?"  
"Well, im trying to get over your brother actually." I said with the little amount of confidence that I could find.  
"Well whatever distraction you're using, Alice wants you to stop." Rosalie said, and it clicked.  
"Why are you calling me and not Alice?" I asked kind of rudely, although i was a little afraid to hear the answer.  
"Well she doesn't think she can talk to you. She said it'll be too hard." _She hates me that much?  
_"O-Oh" I said lamely, "Um.. W-What did she see me doing?"  
"She won't tell me, she said it would be an invasion of your privacy..." She trailed off to a booming voice on her end of the phone.  
"_Rose who are you talking to?!_" Emmett's loud voice boomed.  
"No-one. Emmett go away.. No!.. Emmett stop it!.." I heard some rustling of the phone being passed around, and im guessing he snatched it away because before i knew it, Emmett was talking into the speaker.  
"Hello, sexy 101 speaking how may i help you?" I started laughing quietly because that was something that only Emmett would say.  
"_Oh my god! Bella?! Bella is that really you?!_" He screamed.  
"Y-Yes" I stammered quietly, I really missed them, all of them._  
_"_I can't believe it's you! We miss you so much!_"_ I think my eardrum may have broken  
_"Can you please stop yelling?" I whined, _They miss me?  
_"Oh, sorry. How have you been?" He asked in a strangely quiet tone.  
"I've been okay, how about you?" I managed to say without my voice cracking.  
"I'm hanging in there. You don't hate us do you?!" His voice gave away how much he was worrying.  
"No, I still love you all very much." I choked out.  
"We love you too Bella, you have no idea how dead it is around here."  
"Do any of you hate me?" I was basically just directing the question to about _him _and Alice.  
"Why would we hate you?" I could just imagine him scratching his head like someone whose trying to work out a very hard equation.  
"You left me..." I whispered, my vision was all blurry now.  
"We didn't leave because we hate you, please Bella. We don't hate you at all." I've never heard him so serious, it was weird.  
"_No-one?_" I wondered aloud.  
"Not Edward, not Alice, not Jasper, not Carlisle, not Esme, not me and not even Rose." My heard started fluttering when i heard him say that, but i flinched when he said everyone's names.  
"You're not coming b-back are you?" I said between little sniffles.  
"It's hard to tell. Edward keeps changing his mind, so Alice can't see anything until he decides." My heart broke a little more when he said that, but I flinched again when Emmett said _his_ name. "Uh.. Bella? I think Alice wants to talk to you." Emmett said.  
"O-Okay, bye Emmett" I whimpered.  
"Bye Bella, love you." Tears ran down my eyes when he said that, it was like he was saying his good-bye.  
"Love you" I sobbed.  
"Bella" Alice said, I gasped a little. Her voice was the same bells and chimes, but it was flat.  
"H-Hi" I stuttered.  
"Bella... I'm so sorry! I didn't want to leave -"  
"Without saying goodbye? It's okay, I wish we could have had out farewell... But you'll always be my sister." I said quietly, it felt good to get this off my chest, but i didn't want her to ruin it by making some excuse as to why she doesn't want to be best friends. I could hear her dry-sobbing on the other end.  
"I'm sorry to do this Alice, but I have to go to bed. You won't get another inappropriate vision of me, I promise. I hope to see you again someday, i love you pixie." I could hear her sobbing even louder, and more tears poured out of my eyes.  
"B-Bella please don't g-go yet!" Alice sobbed.  
"If I-I don't go now, then i'll never hang up."  
"I miss you"  
"I miss you too" I whimpered, breaking down crying.  
"I'll see you again Bella, I promise_."  
_"Don't forget me Alice because I won't forget you." I said between sobs.  
"Never, you're my sister Bella. I love you" Alice said shakily.  
"I love you too" And before she could say anything, I hung up bawling my eyes out.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

**[Author Note: Okay i thought that i should re-write this chapter about the phone call because when i re-read it, i didn't like it at all. I thought it was way too short, and didn't show enough emotion about what everyone was going through. So ta-da, i wrote another chapter. I hope you like this one more.]**


	5. Vision

Chapter 5.

**Alice Pov.**

"Alice, come help me pick out an outfit for tomorrow please!" Rosalie called, I slumbered out of my room, and met Rose in hers.

"What about this?" Rose asked me, I nodded silently, tossing a pair of black heels to go with her plain black dress. "Cheer up" She told me, softly though with a touch of bitterness. I knew what she was thinking, she was annoyed that we were still moping about leaving Bella.  
"Sorry" I mumbled, I was about to go back to my room when my vision stopped me.

I saw it like it was a slide show of pictures in my head, I took comfort in that fact – it meant that there was a possibility that it wouldn't happen.

_Firstly, I saw Bella kissing some human boy whom I recognised as one of the football players from Forks High School. But then the vision changed... and the human boy morphed into another boy, one that I knew, and didn't like. The boy was Mike Newton, as far as I knew, Bella didn't think much of Mike, so why was she kissing him? Did she have feelings for him now?  
The picture changed again, the scenery was what looked like Bella's street, except they weren't parked outside of her house, that much I could tell. I looked closer at the car that they seemed to be inside... in the back seat, I saw that a layer of clothes had been shredded and there were two people wrapped up in each other, I could also see that they were only making out. I couldn't tell who the boy was, though I could easily see Bella's hair, so I knew that the girl was her._

I absent mindedly shook my head when the vision ended, I turned around to Rosalie with my face stuck in a mask of shock, disbelief, anger, hurt, and every other emotion that I could comprehend.  
"What did you see?" She asked, putting down her clothes, but coming closer to me when she saw my reaction to it.  
"Bella..." I trailed off, glaring at the floor. "She's changed so much." I gasped.  
"What did you see, Alice" Rose repeated.  
"Bella... with human boys" I mumbled, happy for once that Edward was away.  
"What was she doing?" She asked then, sitting on her bed.  
"Kissing" I answered simply.  
"With just one boy? He could be her new boyfriend." Rose reasoned.  
"No," I shook my head, my eyebrows pulling together in frustration, who was _this _girl? "With 3 boys, on different nights, close together, It looked like."  
"She's _promiscuous_ now?" Rosalie asked, looking disgusted with what I'd just told her.  
"No, she doesn't go that far," I murmured, but then remembered the car picture of my vision, not sure how far it will go. "I think"  
"Humans" She scoffed.  
"Please Rose, she's still our sister." Seeing her disbelieving face, I added, "to me."

It was an hour later when I decided to call her, I had not been able to get the vision out of my mind. I had even checked up on it twice, and by the looks of it, it was getting more certain.

"You can't call her, Alice" Jasper murmured, I shook my head, not letting them persuade me otherwise.  
"I need to, you didn't see my vision, Jazz, you won't understand."  
"Then help us to" Emmett was the one who spoke now.  
I let out a sigh and held my cell phone between my hands, "Bella has changed, I don't know if it's a way to deal with us leaving, but it scares me because she's the complete opposite of the Bella that we _all _love. I need to stop her from making this mistake, it's degrading, disgusting and disappointing. She needs to know what she's doing isn't going to go without consequences." When everyone gave me a confused look, I elaborated. "What if Edward returns? I've been having some visions of him going back, but they're quickly changed. If he goes and sees _that_ Bella, it would shatter him, he won't see it how we do, he'll think she's moved on."  
I let myself rest on Rosalie and Emmett's bed, somewhat deflating.  
"I can't lose her, forever. If he sees her like that, then he'll never believe that she belongs with him." Jasper sighed and stood next to me, putting his arm around my shoulder, comforting me.  
I briefly saw Rosalie take the phone from my hand, and heard her scrolling through something and then heard ringing.  
"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice still thick.  
"Calling Bella. As much as I don't like her, Edward's my brother, I don't want him to suffer." I smiled slightly, and waited for Bella to pick up.

"Hello?" She answered sounding tired, and I realised that it would be pretty late in Forks. _Oops_.  
"Hi, Bella?" Rosalie asked, trying to sound polite.  
"A-Alice?" I heard Bella's voice asked, startled. My head snapped up with my name being asked, she sounded so broken, that thought sent another wave of sadness over me, we'd hurt her so badly. I was the worst best friend in the world.

I listened on as Rosalie spoke to her, asking her what was happening in Forks, and about my vision. Finally, it was my time to talk to her.

"Bella" I murmured hesitantly, I heard her gasp quietly, making me frown.  
"H-hi" She stuttered back, that made me crack.  
"Bella, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to leave –" I was cut off by her before I could finish.  
"Without saying goodbye? It's okay, I wish we could have had our farewell... But you'll always be my sister." I could feel my lower lip starting to quiver so I took a deep breath to try and stop my quiet sobbing but before I could answer, she was speaking again. "I'm sorry to do this Alice, but I have to go to bed. You won't get another inappropriate vision of me, I promise. I hope to see you again someday, I love you, pixie." She finished in a rush, I sobbed even more and started stuttering, not ready to hang up yet.  
"B-bella, please don't g-go yet!" I begged.  
"If I don't go now, then I'll never hang up." Bella whispered, her throat restricted.  
"I miss you" I told her.  
"I miss you too" She mumbled back, I cried along with her, wishing that I could still be in Forks, taking her mind off Edward and everything else, we could have gone shopping or had a sleep over, or I'd have given her a make over. Those thoughts made me cry even harder, I felt waves of calmness go over me, I gave Jazz a shaky look, trying to smile at him but I couldn't do it – I missed my best friend too much.  
"I'll see you again Bella, I promise." I said more calmly than earlier, it was true, I would see her – even if that meant I'd have to hide in the forest.  
"Don't forget me, Alice, I won't forget you." She stammered out.  
"Never, you're my sister, Bella. I love you." I looked up at Jasper and saw him watching me cautiously, I sighed and looked back at the ground.  
"I love you, too" She whispered, hanging up before I had any time to say goodbye.

I let the cell phone slip from my hand to the bed, I was only sitting there for a second before I stood up and dashed from the room, to mine.  
I was dry sobbing into my pillow when Jazz found me, "Sweetheart, please talk to me."  
"I miss her, Jasper" I said, sitting up on the bed.  
"I know you do, it'll all work out for the best, don't worry." He told me, kissing my forehead.  
"I hope I see her again soon" I murmured.  
"So do I, darlin'"

I heard a familiar purring engine drive up our gravel driveway, I took a deep breath, "Edward's home".

The family met Edward in the entry room, anxiously awaiting his arrival.  
"Hello" He said sceptically.  
"Sup, little brother?" Emmett boomed, even though Edward was technically older than Emmett, he was turned at an older age, where as Edward was changed when he was just 17 – Emmett was 18.  
"What's going on?" Edward ignored Emmett's question.  
Everyone exchanged hesitant looks, something that didn't go unnoticed with Edward, "Tell me," he demanded.  
"Um," I started, "It's about Bella"  
I saw Edward stiffen at her name, "What about her..." He trailed off, I swallowed loudly and then spoke.  
"We... called her"  
I watched his face turn from composed to absolutely livid, I cringed and leaned into Jazz a bit, waiting for his wrath.  
"You... called... Bella" He processed with venom in his words.

**[Author Note: This is the improved Vision, I completely forgot about this chapter, lol sorry. Enjoy!]**


	6. Breathe Slow

Chapter 6

"_We...We called her" She sighed_

"_You...called....Bella?"_

**EPOV:**

"Edward we're sorry we just had to, alright?" Alice said

"Why would you have to call Bella when we left for _her_. What was the point in leaving if you're gonna go around calling her when you feel like it?!" I said, my voice growing louder with every word as I remember what I said to her when we left. _"It will be like we never existed"_

"I just had to ask her something, then Emmett and Jazz heard us talking and came to investigate. It's really not that bad."

"What was so important that you had to disturb her new life?" I hissed to no-one in particular.

"New Life?! New life my ass Edward! You didn't do her any good leaving! She sounded horrible on -" Rosalie's screaming came to an end when Alice yelled at her to stop.

"I did it to protect her Rosalie, you know that as well as I do. Since when do you even care about Bella?" I took her silence as confirmation.

"Exactly, all you're angry about is having to move to another town. Well, sorry to be the one to tell you this, but not everything is about you! If you weren't so obsessed with yourself maybe you'd see that!" I yelled as I turned on my heels and stalked out of the house.

"As I was walking out to my Volvo, I could still hear my family talking inside.

"...i can't see him coming back" Alice gasped

"He'll come back, we're still family" I heard Rosalie sneer as she walked upstairs.

"She is right Alice, we're all still a family. He just needs space I think." Jasper tried, reassuring Alice. I sighed and drove off in my car.

As I was driving down the highway going 170 in the 110 speed limit, I was thinking about where I should go.

_Italy? New York? Australia? Forks? Yes... Back to Forks. _Of course I wouldn't let anyone know I'm there, especially Bella. But I had to see her, just one more time without the pained look on her face of me breaking up with her.

As I was driving down the road that had the turn off to The Cullen house on it, I was wondering where I should go in order to entertain myself. I knew that tomorrow I would go to see Bella.

I passed our driveway and continued my way into town, I had decided to go into town and see what has changed, and then possibly go to our meadow.

I parked in the first parking spot I could see. _Ew! She's at it again with some other guy now. She's so disgusting. _I heard Lauren Mallory hiss through her mind, I chuckled at how much her thoughts haven't changed; always bad thoughts about other people.

_Why can't I find someone who can't take his hands off me. _I heard an unfamiliar voice think.

I got out of the car to start my walk around town, _Edward Cullen... He's back? Are all the Cullens back? I wonder how Bella's going to react. It's obvious she still loves him, although she deals with it oddly. _I heard Angela Webber think from somewhere behind me.

"Jess, is that Edward Cullen?" I heard Lauren Mallory whisper to her friend, Jessica Stanley.

"Ohmy...! It totally is! I wonder how he's going to react to the _New and Not so Improved _Bella" I heard Jessica whisper and then they both started snickering. _New and Not so Improved? Handling things oddly? What happened to my Bella? _I continued my walk around town, trying to block out the thoughts of the people around me, but one thought in particular broke through my barrier. It was more of a conversation taking place.

"So, how come you wanted to meet now?" The guy asked

"Oh, well, you know I just wanted to see you" Is...Was...That... Bella? My beautiful Bella's voice.

"That's sweet, Hey Bella. Can I ask you something?" The guy asked nervously, and I could hear what he was going to ask.

"Sure Dean what is it?" My angel asked. And I could see through Dean's mind that Bella was drawing circles on his palm with her fingers.

"Uhm...Well, I was wondering... would you like to go see a movie?" Dean asked, changing his question half way through.

"Oh, okay sure lets go" My Bella said after a moment, standing up.

I was too busy thinking of the Bella I used to know that I wasn't watching where I was going, by accident I had bumped into someone. I looked up into the face of who I had ran into to apologise, but was met by the eyes and face of Bella, who was looking very confused; but quickly changed to a look of pure shock.

"Bella..." I whispered.

**BPOV**

"Uhm.. Well, I was wondering... would you like to go see a movie?" Dean, my distraction for the night asked.

"Oh, okay sure lets go" I said not really paying attention to what I was saying, I was too busy remembering the phone call I had gotten from The...Cullens. As I heard that name in my head, my fragile heart gave a little rip on the frayed edges. I was aimlesslly walking beside Dean when I walked into what I thought was a rock. But why would a rock be in the middle of the foot path? I looked up before the rock did. I knew instantly who it was. My reason for living, the only person I truly love, but he left me. He didnt want me, he told me so. It was...Edward

"Bella..." I heard him whisper.

I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't blink. I was frozen.

"Breathe Bella" My love told me, his voice even smoother than I remember.

I braced myself and took a shakey breath. Filling my senses with Edward's amazing scent. But I didn't blink, I was too afraid that if I did, my angel would be gone.

"Bella... We'd better go if we want to catch that movie" Dean said from beside me, where he had stood forgotten.

"Oh, i'm sorry I kept you and your boyfriend." My Edward said with a slight nod and walked off.

I stood there for what felt like hours, everyone around me moving; eyeing me weirdly while trying to step around me.

"I-I'm sorry Dean..."_ I can't let him leave me again._ I thought and took off after my destiny.


	7. The Last Day on Earth

The Last Day on Earth.

_I stood there for what felt like hours, everyone around me moving; eyeing me weirdly while trying to step around me._

"_I-I'm sorry Dean…" I cant let him leave me again. I thought and took off after my destiny._

I ran as quickly as I could without tripping over my feet. I saw the top of Edward's head as he turned around a corner, I then rounded the same corner and stepped my pace up a little faster.  
"Ed-" I tried to say loud enough so he could hear me but choked on my nerves.  
"E-Edward" I said, I saw him hesitate in his step but then continued on walking like he hadn't heard anything.

"Bella..?" I heard someone say, I turned around to see Dean walking towards me. I turned back around and saw that Edward had disappeared into the crowd.  
"Are you ready to go?" Dean asked me, taking my hand; Usually I wouldn't object to holding hands with anyone, but although I knew Dean had normal body temperature it felt way too hot to me. So I pulled my hand away, feeling a little uncomfortable.  
"Actually I think ill go home if that's okay with you" I asked, trying to muster up as much of my confident mask as I could.  
"Oh, um of course I don't mind. Come on ill drive you home" Dean said quietly.

Once we were in Dean's car it was quiet, I knew he was disappointed that I had cut our date short but I didn't know what to say.  
"Can I ask you something Bella?" Dean asked, breaking into the silence and my thoughts.  
"Sure Dean" I said, feeling like I should atleast try to answer it.  
"Who was that guy you ran into before?"He asked cautiously. My breathing stopped and my heartbeat accelerated, I had started thinking that maybe I had imagined Edward, he was the one who said he didn't love me, so why would he come back? If any Cullen did, I thought it would have been Alice. It was weird that many months of locking The Cullens and my feelings up would be unleashed with just one encounter.  
Dean was still waiting for an answer when I returned from my thoughts so I quietly said "Oh I forgot you were new to Forks. Um.. That was E-Edward Cullen. He moved away from Forks a few months ago.." I trailed off.  
"It seemed like you two knew each other. I mean, the way you ran after him" He said with a little bitterness in his voice.  
"Im sorry Dean, he was my boyfriend before he left." I answered, as calmly as I could but my voice still shook at the end.  
"I thought you didn't have boyfriends" Dean stated, of course he would say that, I had said that I don't have boyfriends because its too complicated, I prefer to just go out and have a good time. Dean had been disappointed that I didn't want to be his girlfriend he'd cheered up when I agreed to go on a date with him.

This was our third date, and because I believed Edward would never come back, just as he had promised; I was considering actually having a relationship with Dean. But that thought went down the drain when I ran into Edward.

"I…I don't have boyfriends anymore, my last one was Edward" I whispered, playing with the bottom of my t-shirt to avoid his gaze.  
"May I ask why this is?" He asked after a moment of silence.  
I thought about that for a moment, I had never told anyone much about my life with Edward, but I thought now would be a good time to let it all out –except for the vampire parts- in order to get over Edward.

I started at the beginning, I told Dean about my first day at Forks High School, I skipped over the part of Edward hating me because that would need some explaining and I couldn't think of a reason. I continued on to tell Dean about the accident in Port Angeles with the men following me, I told him that Edward had seen me walking alone at night and came to give me a lift. After that I told him about how Edward took me to dinner and then how we grew closer and closer every minute we spend together, which was a lot of time. I told Dean all about our inseperable moments and when Edward took me hiking to his favorite place, and how it was then that Edward told me that he loved me, and I told him I love him back.  
I then moved on to Edward distancing himself away from me, and how he told me he didn't love me and didn't want me anymore. "He left that night, Carlisle, his father got a job offer that he couldn't refuse" I concluded, I hadn't realized that I had been crying until Dean wiped a tear away from my cheek. "Oh sorry" I said.  
"Don't apologize Bella, its alright. Ive never seen this side of you, youre always so confident" Dean said quietly.  
"I guess I don't like showing people my vulnerability. When Edward left I swore that I couldn't be _his _Bella anymore. I went out and bought new clothes, new shoes, new makeup and a developed a new personality to match, but once a month I dress like my old self just to remind me of who I really am, you know… so I don't forget who I am." I explained, I guess I really needed to talk to someone because once I started I couldn't stop.  
"Why are you telling _me _this? Isnt this something you tell a best friend or your mother?" Dean said and then added "Not that I don't want to talk with you"

I thought about that for a moment, if I told my ex-best friend, Jacob about it; he would throw a fit, provided if he gave me the time of day to tell him about it. And if I told Renee, she would get so worried that she would make me move back with her. "I don't really have a best friend to tell, my ex best friend, Jacob stopped talking to me a few weeks ago. And my mother would get so worried that she would make me move back home to live with her."  
"Oh I see" Dean said, and then let the subject drop. The rest of the car ride home I thought about Jacob, I decided that after dinner I would go and visit him, Jacobs calls had stopped about a month ago when he got sick after seeing a movie one night. He had told me to leave him alone, and although it killed me to do so, I respected his wishes.

***  
"That was great Bells!" Charlie said as he finished the last of his dinner.  
"Thanks dad, I'm glad you liked it" I said as I put our plates in the sink. "Hey Dad? I know it's a school night and all but I was wondering if it was okay if I go and visit Jacob for a little bit?"  
"Oh, well that's brilliant Bella! Take your time sweetheart." Charlie said, a little too enthusiastic, I laughed and told him I wouldn't be home too late. I walked out of the house and got in my truck.

"Bella" I heard a female whisper, I yelped in fright when I noticed I was not alone in my truck.

**[[Author Note: Ohmygosh, im so sorry for not update sooner, ive had heaps of school stuff and yeah. Anyway OHMYGOSH! Who saw the new moon movie?! ITS AWESOME! Xx]]**


	8. Mona Lisa

Chapter 8 - Mona Lisa.

"That was great Bells!" Charlie said as he finished the last of his dinner.

"Thanks dad, I'm glad you liked it," I said as I put our plates in the sink. "Hey dad? I know its a school night and all but I was wondering if it was okay if I go and visit Jacob for a little bit?"

"Oh, well that's brilliant Bella! Take your time sweetheart." Charlie said, a little too enthusiastic, I laughed and told him I wouldn't be home too late. I walked out of the house and got in my truck.

"Bella," I heard a female whisper, I yelped in fright when I noticed I was not alone in my truck.

* * *  
I could faintly see the outline of the person who was sitting next to me, I couldn't tell who it was because the woman had whispered. But what I did notice was that this person was a vampire.

_Alice_...? _Rosalie_..? _Esme_....? I thought, thinking of the possibilities of who it could be. I _had_ seen Edward before, it wasn't my imagination because Dean had seen and asked about him. So why couldn't the others be here as well?

I sighed and tried to see my visitor again.

"Who are you?" I asked cautiously, I know I should have run the moment I heard her voice, my whole body was yelling at me to. But my mind was telling me this woman wasn't a threat, that there was something familiar about her.

"What are you talking about Bella? Its me." I automatically recognized Alice's voice as she chirped.

"A-Alice?" I stuttered, even though I had expected it to be a Cullen I was still very shocked that a person from my former family sat less than a meter away from me.

"Hi Bella." She said. I could see her face now. Her eyes were the same butterscotch honey color that I remembered all too well, her hair wasn't spiky anymore; it was straight but still looked flawless on her, her face is just as angelic as ever, but her features were shadowed in sadness.

"Wha-" I tried clearing my throat, "What a-are you doing here?" I whispered but knew she could hear me as if I had yelled.

"I wanted to see you," Alice answered simply, I sighed.

"I meant here in Forks." I whispered again, she seemed hesitant to answer but finally did.

"I saw my brother come back, and knew I had to warn you."

"I've already seen... E-Edward" My heart started racing when I said his name. "Why do you care anyway? You left me without saying good-bye." I whimpered quietly.

"Bella no, please no. I didn't want to leave, Edward made us. He thought you'd forget us, and said we had no right ruining your human life." Alice said, panicking.

"Yes well I haven't forgotten any of you. I even miss Rosalie's glares. Since when have I ever been normal Alice?

I'm never going to forget any of you, I couldn't bare it." I said staring at my hands on the steering wheel.

"I'm never going to forget you either Bella, you'll always be my sister and best friend." Alice said sadly, scooting closer to me. I automatically moved further away, knowing that it'll just get harder when she leaves again. I could feel a tear slide down my cheek but quickly wiped it away before she could see.

"I'm so sorry Bella," Alice choked out. I put my hand up as if to comfort her, but knew it would unleash memories I have kept locked up for so long. So I put my hand back on the steering wheel and settled for telling her she was -of course- forgiven.

"So, did you come here by yourself?" I asked, changing the subject.

"No, I came with Jasper," She said cautiously, probably thinking I hated her husband.

"Jaspers here?" I asked shakily, _what if he hates me for causing his family pain?_ I thought worriedly.

"Yes." Alice said after a moment of silence.

"Where is he?" I asked quietly, wondering if he was with Edward.

"He's in the forest, he didn't want to approach us and make you uncomfortable. He's watching though." She said quietly.

"Oh" I answered and then after a moment I smiled and said a little louder, "Jasper you won't make me uncomfortable, please come out." I looked over to see Alice smiling brilliantly at me, I gave her a small smile.

At least I can put them at ease, even if I have to suffer for the rest of my life.

"Thank you," she whispered, I smiled and looked around. I saw Jasper hesitating outside the forest wall about 10 meters away from my truck.

"Before I'm 40 if you don't mind Jasper." I joked and laughed when I saw him pick up his pace.

I watched as Alice got out of the truck and stood next to Jasper.

"We're not gonna fit in your truck Bella, so we'll just stand. It's like sitting for us anyway."

"Okay," I said as I slid over the seat and sat on the edge with the door open, my legs hanging off the ledge.

"Hi Jasper." I said with a smile, he looked up shocked obviously expecting to be shunted off.

"Hello Bella." Jasper said politely, there was a few minutes of silence before I broke it.

"I don't blame you." I said looking at Jasper and then down at my hands.

"You don't?" I heard him ask.

"Of course I don't Jasper, I understand that you were only acting on instincts. You wouldn't intentionally hurt me. I should've been more careful, if its anyone's fault its mine." I said looking into his eyes, I knew he could feel the emotions radiating off me, so I knew that he knew I was telling the truth.

"Bella, you're way too selfless for a human. That wasn't your fault at all. You got a paper-cut. Everyone gets them. I should've had more control." Jasper said getting even more upset the more he spoke.

"No Jasper, you listen and you listen well. It's my fault I got the paper-cut, you acted the exact way a vampire should. I don't blame you or anyone else, and you shouldn't either. I'm sure no one blames you. This was nothing Jasper, _this_ was something" I said showing him the scar on my wrist, "James _actually_ bit me. None of this has changed how I feel about... any of you. You're still my brother, Alice is still my sister and no one will ever replace her as my best friend." I said the last part looking directly at Alice, with sad eyes. "Emmett will always be my big teddy bear brother, even though Rosalie hates me, she'll always be a sister to me, Carlisle and Esme will always remain my second parents and..." I trailed off looking at my shoes as tears filled my eyes.

"I love you Bella, we both do." Jasper said wrapping an arm around Alice.

"I love you both too. More everyday." I sighed as I realized I wouldn't be seeing Jacob tonight.

"Bella.." Alice started nervously.

"Yes Alice?" I said back to her slowly.

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to come back to the house with us. We would love to talk more and I know

Charlie will be wondering why you've been sitting here for so long instead of going to Jacob Blacks house." I was frozen, did I want to go back to the Cullen house? I don't know. Did I want to continue talking with Jasper and Alice? Yes. What if Edward's there? Ugh. I sighed.

"Edward will be there but he will agree not to speak until you are ready." Alice said answering my unspoken question. "So are you going to come?"

I sighed, "I at least have to tell Charlie I'm going out." Alice beamed and I knew that she had seen that Charlie would be fine with it.

I walked into my house and saw Charlie watching football on television.

"Hey Dad." I said walking into the T.V room. Charlie looked up from the television with a confused expression on his face.

"Hey Bells, I thought you were at Jake's?" He asked.

"I didn't end up going. I figured that I would see him in the morning when I know he'll be awake."

"Oh okay, that sounds like a good idea Bells." He said, seeming a little disappointed.

"I was wondering, would it be okay if I go out for a few hours? Just drive around, ill have my cell phone with me." I asked, finding it rude if I just tell him I was going out.

"Oh, well as long as you're not out too late. Its a school night remember." Charlie said turning back to the TV

"Thanks dad." I said walking out of the house.

"Okay lets go." Alice said jumping into the truck, Jasper got in after her and I walked around to the drivers side.

"Alright." I said, taking a deep breath as I turned the key. I'm sure they can hear my heart beating against my rib cage. After getting on the long driveway towards the white mansion, I was surprised that after 6 months I could still get there at nighttime. I guess I didn't realize how much I had clung to all those journeys to the Cullen house.

I pulled up out the front of the house and let the truck idle for a moment staring at the silver Volvo in the open garage parked next to it was Carlisle's Mercedes; which I can only imagine Alice and Jasper drove here in. I walked up to the front door with Alice and Jasper by my side, walking as quietly and slowly as I could as if it would hide the fact I was here. But I was sure he could hear my heart as clear as if it were through loud speakers.

I looked up and saw Edward standing there in all his glory with a tortured expression on his face. I couldn't help the sob that escaped my mouth as I averted my eyes from him and followed Alice into the lounge room.

[Author Note: I am once again sorry for the delayed update, my computer broke, but I would also like to thank Forever17lover for doing me this huge favorrrr of posting these, she's the best! READ HER STORIES! Reviewwww]


	9. Cry

Chapter 9 - Cry

If anyone asks  
I'll tell them we both just moved on  
When people all stare  
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk  
Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue.  
Pretend I'm okay with it all  
Act like there's nothing wrong  
Is it over yet?  
Can I open my eyes?  
Is this as hard as it gets  
Is this what it feels like to really cry  
I'm talking in circles  
I'm lying, they know it.  
Why won't this just all go away?

I looked up and saw Edward standing there in all his glory with a tortured expression on his face. I couldn't help the sob that escaped my mouth as I averted my eyes from him and followed Alice into the lounge room.

Alice, Jasper and I walked into the room and as I looked around it my eyes rested on the corner of the room where Edwards piano stood. I glanced away, quickly feeling a lump form in my throat; I coughed to clear it as I sat on the Cullens' loveseat.

"S-So, um what did you want to talk about?" I asked quietly, looking at Jasper who was in a chair in front of me and then to Alice who was seated next to me on the loveseat.

"Wait!" Alice exclaimed, I jumped and my heart skipped a beat, which made Jasper chuckle. I blushed a deep crimson and looked to Alice.

"What?" I asked.

"I think Edward will want to hear this conversation as well." Alice said and before I could respond she ran off at vampire speed. My heart climbed up to my throat and my emotions went into overdrive; worry, fear, anger, happiness, pain, sadness... suddenly I felt a wave of calmness wash over me drowning out all other emotions. I smiled at Jasper to say thank-you and welcomed the calming waves.

About five minutes later Alice walked back into the room with Edward trailing behind her, he looked up at me at the same time I looked to him and as our eyes met, his words echoes in my mind, _I don't love you,_ the voices said. I looked away and to the ground as the calming waves increased. Alice walked over and sat on Jasper's lap, which left the seat next to me free for Edward. As he sat down I casually shifted my position away from him trying to make it seem like I was trying to get comfortable.

"Okay you can start now Bella," Alice said smiling at me.

"Um, well what do you want to know?" I asked quietly playing with my hands.

"How have you been for these past few months?" Alice asked

"I've been fine thanks, how about you?" I asked looking at Alice.

"I've been okay. How's Charlie?"

"Oh you know… fatherly. He tried to send me to live with Renee." I laughed without humor.

"Yeah I know... I saw it. You threw quite a fit." She joked. I heard a growl come from next to me

"Alice, I told you not to," Edward growled.

"What? Did you really think I'd not check up to see if my best friend was okay?" Alice growled back.

"I told you to leave her future alone." Edward hissed.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," I whispered, looking at the carpet.

"Bella... I would never..." Edward trailed off touching my hand, which was rested next to my leg. I pulled my hand away as if it had been burned.

"I know." I whimpered, looking at his hand which lay where my hand had been a second ago. "Please..." he moved his hand away after a moments hesitation.

"Um, Alice's vision... did it... come true?" Jasper asked,

"No," I said feeling embarrassed that they had seen it, "I'm not that person anymore."

"Good." Alice said and I gave her a small smile.

"What vision?" Edward asked, I froze, _what am I supposed to say? _I figured the truth was safest.

"Well, um when y-you left. I found that I'm happiest when I'm with boys... So I, uh dated a lot."

"I see." Edward said, the hurt evident in his eyes. _Why would he care? He doesn't love me._

We talked for another hour, them asking me questions and me answering them. Edward stayed quiet the whole time.

"What time is it?" I asked no one in particular.

"10:53, why?" Edward was the one who answered.

"I need to go home, I told Charlie I wouldn't be home late." I said getting up. All three of them got up at the same time.

"Will you come back tomorrow?" Alice asked

"I...um I don't know..." I said, _The more time I spend with them, the harder it's going to be when they leave me again._

"Please Bella," Alice pleaded, I finally agreed and told them I'd be over at 11am the next morning.

"Do you want a lift home?" Edward asked

"No thank you, I have my truck," I said, avoiding his eyes.

"Bella..." Alice said slowly, "Can I give you a hug? I've missed you so much."

"Alice... I don't think that's a good idea," I said, feeling bad when I saw her face fall.

"But why not?" She pouted crossing her arms.

"It'll hurt too much," I whispered looking at my feet.

"I wouldn't hurt you Bella. We've hugged many times before," she scoffed.

"That's not how I meant it Alice, I know you'd never hurt me," I said looking at her calmly.

"Fine." She said sadly, and she truly looked sad.

I don't know what it was, maybe it was because this was Alice Cullen and it looked so unnatural for her to have a sad feature on her angelic face, or maybe it was my best friend side kicking in. But I couldn't stand to see her upset; I flung myself into her arms and clung to her as tightly as I could. "I guess I don't care if it'll hurt me," I whispered in her ear hugging her tighter. She reacted immediately and clung to me as well. "I love you Alice," I said, my eyes filling up with tears.

"I love you too Bella," she choked out and clung to me tighter, but not enough to hurt me.

_At least Alice and I will end on a good note,_ I thought as a tear fell down my cheek. Alice and I released each other and she wiped away my tear.

"Bye Bella." Jasper said and sent me waves of gratitude, I smiled at him and said bye. "You'll be here tomorrow right?" I asked.

"Of course," he replied. I smiled. I turned to Edward and smiled, "Bye." I said, unsure of what else to say.

"Goodnight Bella," he said, I turned and walked out to my truck, I went to open the door but it was locked. I looked in my pockets for my keys and then remembered I had left them inside. _Damn it,_ I thought. I stared at my car door for a few seconds I guess I thought it would open if I willed it with my brain long enough.

"That won't work, you need keys," I jumped when I heard a voice right behind me. I turned around to find Edward standing in front of me with my keys in his hand.

"T-Thanks." I whispered, and blushed when I noticed how close he was. He smiled my favourite smile looking at my blush, just when he was about to touch my cheek I stuttered "d-don't"

He frowned and said "You let Alice touch you, why not me?"

"Because she didn't break my heart." I didn't mean to say it, it just quietly slipped out, but he heard it, as his face showed immense amounts of pain I couldn't help the tears from welling up and spilling over.

"I-I'm sorry, I d-didn't mean to say that," I stammered quickly.

"It's okay, you were right." He whispered

"N-No that's not the reason!" I said quickly,

"It's not?" he asked

"No, it's b-because that gesture will mean a-a lot more to me than to you. It will hurt me too much to know that... I-I just can't do it." I said almost physically shaking.

"T-That's -" I cut Edward off.

"Please... I have to go... I'm not ready, I'm still b-broken." I whimpered, another tear escaping.

"I-Okay, Goodnight Bella." Edward sighed giving me my keys.

"Goodnight Edward," I said as I got into my truck and as I started it up I said "I'll see you tomorrow"

I backed out of the driveway, the whole time he was watching me, and I started on my journey home preparing for what lay ahead tomorrow.

[Author Note: Okay I don't know if this is what you had in mind... But I really didn't know what to write...]


	10. The Silence

_Chapter 9 : The Silence_

Torn in two she lies awake  
The moon lights up the room like day.  
Another night she spends alone  
Without his touch her skin so warm  
Even though the world she loved  
It won't ever be the way it was  
And his heart of stone left her's breaking.  
Every night she cries  
And dies a little more each time.  
Say you love me  
Nothing left inside  
Say you love me  
And the silence will set her free.  
Memories they take her back  
Every moment fades to black  
Every kiss and every taste  
She wishes time would ease the pain.

I woke up the next morning feeling groggy and tired, the whole night I had woken up and drifted off back to sleep, but never far enough to actually dream. I slowly got up and out of bed - the clock read 9:54am – _Oh no, I slept in,_ I thought as I walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower to wake myself up a bit.  
After my shower, I got dressed - in a navy blue long sleeved top with black faded jeans and black boots -, when I was satisfied with how I looked I went downstairs and fixed myself some breakfast.  
While I was eating my cereal I read the note that Charlie had left:  
Bells,  
I've gone out fishing with Billy, I don't know what you're doing today but I'll be home around 5:00pm.  
Dad  
I sighed, Charlie went out fishing every weekend. I don't know why he thought he still needed to leave notes.  
When I had finished my food I rinsed, washed, dried and put away my bowl and spoon - trying to stall having to leave -. There was nothing left to do now, so I checked the clock again and saw that it was 10:41am. Perhaps I was moving slower than what I thought I was, I grabbed my purse and put my cell phone in it and took my keys off the table then walked out to my truck.  
**- -**  
"Bella!" I heard Alice yell when I pulled my key out of the ignition outside the front of The Cullen house. I stepped away from my truck - taking a deep breath - and walked up to the front door where Alice was waiting for me.  
"Hi" I said shyly and flinched slightly when she put her arms around me in a hug. I walked through the threshold when she moved aside.  
"Your fashion sense has gotten better Bella," she said approvingly, taking a step back to look at my clothes "Except ballet flats would look better than boots."  
"Good morning Bella" Jasper said - he and Edward were standing at the foot of the staircase -. "Hi Jasper" I said and although I was smiling at him, it felt strained and probably looked it too. I peered over to Edward - he was looking at me intently - "Hello" I said politely, my voice wavered a bit.  
"Good morning" he replied, still staring at me, with a smile on his face. My heartbeat increased and I blushed a deep crimson, I heard him chuckle quietly.  
"So... Um... What are we doing today?" I asked everyone, trying to distract myself to make my blush go away.  
"Well I wanted to go shopping. Want to come Bella?" Alice asked, I groaned and shook my head.  
"I hate shopping, you know that." I said with a small smile.  
"Please Bella, I haven't been shopping in 6 months!" she complained, I sighed.  
"No Alice, you can go if you want though. I won't stop you." I said and then added with a smile, "I'll go home." I began thinking of things I could do, _Go to Seattle…visit Jake…spend the day reading…_  
"No!" I heard Edward say loudly - not quite yelling but also not saying it at a normal volume -. I jumped not expecting the outburst and tripped over myself, landing on my backside. When my hearing had come back into the room I could hear Alice and Jasper laughing, I opened my eyes and saw that Edward was leaning in a crouch in front of me - he didn't look please with Jasper and Alice -.  
"Are you okay? I'm sorry for scaring you." He said, extending his hand to help me up.  
"You didn't scare me, I was just surprised." I said, ignoring his hand that was held out for me, I pushed myself up off the ground.  
"Okay Bella," Edward said with amusement in his eyes, "But you're okay? You didn't hurt yourself when you fell?"  
"No I'm okay," I said, looking anywhere but at him, Jasper and Alice were ignoring us. I finally looked back to Edward biting my lip nervously. His eyes smoldered into mine, keeping me where I was. He gazed into my eyes, which made my heart rate excel, he moved closer to me and my breathing started getting labored. Edward's crooked smile spread across his lips and I could feel my smile spreading across mine in response.  
"I've missed you," he whispered, he still hadn't moved his gaze away from me; so I couldn't talk, I could barely even get my thoughts coherent. If it were possible Edward stepped even closer to me and slowly put his hands on my waist, his touch made my heart flutter. I could feel a blush painting my cheeks, Edward smiled and looked away from my eyes; I took this time to collect my thoughts I could still feel his hands on my waist and it caused my heart to rip in half all over again. I slowly looked around and saw that Jasper and Alice were no longer in the room. Reluctantly, I took a step back, out of his arms, and when Edward stepped with me keeping me in his arms I whimpered quietly and took two quick steps away; this time he didn't follow me.  
I looked up at him and saw raw pain, I could feel my eyes starting to prickle, my sight dropped to the floor and I kept it there.  
"W-Where's Alice?" I asked, my voice even breaking in a whisper.  
"Bella..." Edward whispered, his voice wavering with emotion. I shook my head.  
"Where's Alice?" I repeated, my voice a little stronger than before.  
"In there," he said and sighed, pointing to the room we were in last night. I nodded and walked towards it.  
"Are you going to go shopping Alice?" I asked. Out the corner of my eye I saw Edward give her a sharp look.  
"No, I'd rather spend the day with you."  
"Okay, well what did you have in mind then?" I asked sitting down on the armchair.  
"Can we watch a movie? I already saw that you're not going to like my other suggestion." I sighed, knowing she was right, her other suggestion was probably something ridiculous like 'Bella-Barbie'. I shuddered from the thought and past experiences.  
"Okay, a movie sounds good." Alice beamed and jumped off the seat and walked over, at vampire speed, to the DVD cupboard. "Okay what are you three in the mood for? Romance… Drama… Comedy... Horror... Action… Thriller…?"  
"I'm okay with anything." _Just please not romance._ I added in my head.  
"Jazz? Edward? Any preferences?" Alice asked, not turning around to look at them. "Okay what about 'What Happens in Vegas'"? she added, not waiting for the response of their suggestions.  
"Okay," we all said at the same time. Alice put the movie on and then sat down, snuggling up to Jasper's side. I looked over at Edward and saw him standing against the wall with his hands in his pockets. I pursed my lips for a moment before I stood up from the chair.  
"You can sit down," I motioned to the seat with my hand but he just stared at me, "I'll sit on the carpet."  
"What? No, Bella I'm not going to take your seat." Edward said shaking his head.  
"It's not my seat, it's yours. I don't want you to have to stand for the whole movie."  
"I don't want you to be uncomfortable, I'm fine with standing." He said, looking as stubborn as he's ever been.  
"I'm not -" I started to object but Alice cut me off.  
"Okay, how about Jazz and I sit on the chair and you two can have this lounge? Don't argue, I've already seen that you're going to comply." Alice got off the lounge, pulling Jasper with her and sat on his lap when he was seated on the armchair. I got up grumbling and sat on one side of the love seat with Edward on the other. Throughout the movie I couldn't help peeking over at him, every time I felt a pain in my chest. I sat watching the screen, although I was just looking at the pictures; I had no idea what was happening.  
**- -**_  
Maybe I should leave,_ I thought as I curled my arms around my chest, trying not to wince when the hole in my chest started hurting again. _I'm falling apart. _The movie had finished and now everyone was sitting quietly, comfortable with the silence, well everyone was but me. I knew that they knew something was wrong. Jasper was watching me worriedly, feeling my emotions, Alice's eyes kept glazing over and I knew she was having visions, whenever she finished a vision her eyes would focus on me before her eyes glazed over again. Edward kept his eyes on Alice but occasionally he would look over at me, sending another tear into my chest. I stood up abruptly and said, "I have to go."  
"Please stay Bella!" Alice pleaded with big eyes.  
"I have homework to do." I said, avoiding their eyes.  
"Bella, you really shouldn't be alone with the state you're in. Please stay." Jasper said softly, I glared at him.  
"I'm not going to do anything stupid if that's what you're implying." I turned back to the others and said, "it was nice to see you all again." Still seething _I can't believe they think I'd take my own life, or even try to._ I sighed and walked to the front door, _If I was ever coming back here I had to sort out my emotions and know what I wanted from them._

I climbed into my truck and rested my head on the steering wheel I closed my eyes as I waited for my tears to stop.  
I heard a slight knock on the window and when I turned my head I saw Jasper standing on the other side of the glass.  
I dried my eyes and rolled down the window, "Yes?" I asked, my voice cracking.  
"Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine." I said shortly, he sighed.  
"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to offend you, or to imply anything." He said, I gave him a small smile - my anger disappearing completely.  
"You were only looking out for me. I shouldn't have gotten angry at you, I'm sorry."  
"It's okay Bella. Will you come back tomorrow?" Jasper asked, I shook my head.  
"I can't, I have school."  
"After school?" Jasper said disappointed. I shook my head again.  
"I need some time to myself." I said with a sigh.  
"Okay, just promise to come back soon?" he said quietly, I gave him a small smile.  
"Bye Jasper." I watched him walk back into his house, I took a deep breath and drove back to Charlie's house, thinking about what to make for dinner, trying to get the Cullen's out of my head.


	11. Quiet

Chapter 11: Quiet  
It's like you know where I'm going.  
You follow me home but,  
I never invite you inside.  
I see what you're not showing.  
I've got you alone but,  
The air is so still, it's weird.  
It's much too quiet in here.  
I wanna disappear,  
I'm hearing myself thinking too clear.  
It's too quiet in here,  
Make it all go away.

I got out of my truck in the middle of Forks High's car park and straightened up my clothes. I was wearing shimmering black ballet flats which matched my black and white handbag, I was also wearing a ruby red dress covered with a mini black jacket. Satisfied with how I looked I made my way into the school building.

"Bella!" I heard Dean say from behind me, _oh no_ I thought as I turned around.

"Hi Dean." I said, putting a smile on my face.

"What happened to you? You never called me back." Dean said pouting. If I was in a better mood I would have thought he looked cute.

"Excuse me?" I asked confused and a little impatient because I just wanted to get to class.

"I called you yesterday but just got voicemail. I wanted to know if you would like to go out with me again soon." He said with a cheeky smile, I groaned.

"I don't think so Dean, I'm sorry but it's not a good idea at the moment." I answered quietly feeling a bit guilty, with a slight smile and a gentle hand squeeze I walked off to my class.

After homeroom; English and Trig passed in a blur. For both lessons I couldn't concentrate, my mind kept revolving. _How long are they staying? Have they already left? Will the others come back at all?_ They were the thoughts that were repeating in my head.

"Bella." I faintly heard Angela whisper, I snapped out of my daze and looking around I was shocked to see that it was lunchtime and I was sitting in the cafeteria.

"Oh sorry Angela, did you say something?" I asked quietly, she looked nervous.

"I asked if you were okay?" she said softly

"Oh. Yeah I'm okay, I'm just a little distracted... Thanks." I tried faking a smile and I hoped that it had convinced her, I went back to absentmindedly spinning my water bottle.

"Are you sure you're not hungry? You can have some of my salad." She said worriedly.

"Thanks Ang but I'm fine, I had a big breakfast." I said, hoping she wouldn't see through my lie, it seemed to have worked.

"Well... Okay," Angela said reluctantly, "Jess it's rude to stare." I looked up at her words to Jessica and saw that she was staring behind Angela and Me.

"What is it?" I asked casting a confused glace towards Angela, suddenly Jessica came out of her daze and beamed almost physically bouncing in her seat.

"The Cullen's are back!" she whisper-yelled and let out a tiny squeal. I froze. _What did she just say?_

"E-Excuse me?" I stammered quietly. I felt my stomach drop, making me feel nauseous, when I saw Angela turn around and let out a barely audible gasp.

"I guess the Cullen's have returned." Jessica said. Her eyes on where I guess would have been where the Cullen's sat. _What did this mean?_ I silently asked myself. I desperately wanted to look behind me to confirm it for myself, but I didn't know if I would like what I saw so I settled to believe Angela and Jessica. And although they were both my friends I couldn't help thinking that maybe it was some cruel joke.

"Bella are you okay? You look kind of pale." Angela asked with concern, I smiled a bit and took a deep breath.

"Yeah I'm okay." I said and took a long sip of my water, casting my eyes down at the table.

"Wow it's like first day of school all over again, The Cullen's are staring at you." Jessica said excitedly but I could hear the jealousy and resentment in her voice. With that aside, my stomach dropped again at her words.

"Um, I'm gonna go to class." I said quietly, I ignored Angela and Jessica's questioning stares.

"But we still have 5 minutes." Jessica whined, casting a look back at the Cullen table.

"I want to go and wash my face first." I said and stood up.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Angela asked, I smiled but shook my head.

"It's okay, I'll just see you in class." I turned around - keeping my eyes on the floor - and walked out of the cafeteria.

I walked into the bathrooms and was pleased to find that it was empty.

"Pull yourself together Bella," I whispered to my reflection in the mirror. I splashed some water over my face, being careful to not smudge my eye makeup, I could hear shuffling footsteps and muffled voices echoing outside so I waited a few minutes and then stepped out back into the hallway.

I walked into Biology and saw that I was one of the first people there. I gave a quick smile to Angela, who was sitting with Ben Cheney, and walked to my empty table.

"Ah Mr. Cullen, I'm glad to see you have returned," Mr. Banner said after a moments silence, I froze but kept my eyes on my book. "You can have your old seat next to Miss Swan." My heart started racing as I heard the stool next to me being pulled across the floor, _don't look up, don't look up, don't look up._.. I tried repeating to myself until I heard him speak.

"Hello Bella," Edward said, the hole in my chest ached a little at the sound of his voice.

"Hello." I said, surprised at how calm I sounded. Mr. Banner turned the lights out and the television on to a movie about cells, when he turned off the lights I could feel the same electric current running between Edward and I from classes so long ago, I struggled with myself to not move closer to him.

The rest of class passed way too slowly, occasionally I would lean to the side in an attempt to get closer to him, when I'd catch myself I would lean as far as possible in my chair. A few times I thought I saw him leaning in as well, so when the bell rang to say I was relieved would be an understatement.

After Gym class I slowly made my way to my truck with Mike, he was talking about some random thing but I wasn't listening to him.

"Well I'll see you tomorrow Bella." I faintly heard Mike say once we reached my truck.

"Uh... Yeah okay, bye." I said and turned to my truck to unlock it, I gasped and dropped my keys when I felt myself being lifted off the ground and spun around in icy arms.

"Bella!" I heard a deep booming voice say loudly, I froze; I would know that voice anywhere. He finally put me down and I swayed a little bit putting my hand on the trucks door to steady myself.

"E-Emmett?" I stuttered and sure enough Emmett Cullen was standing before me.

"The one and only" Emmett said posing and chuckling, he raised his hand to pat me on the head like he had done so many times before but I ducked out of the way.

"What's wrong?" Emmett asked looking genuinely confused. The fact that he was still my big brother Emmett made me smile.

"Nothing," I said with a sad smile, I looked behind Emmett's head and over to the other Cullen's. It was the first time I had seen them altogether since my horrendous birthday, I could feel my eyes filling up with tears, and I had to blink rapidly to keep them from getting out of control. "Good-bye Emmett." I wrapped my arms around his waist and hid my face in his chest trying to withstand my chest pains _he didn't break your heart_. I thought to myself to help ease my ache.

"See-ya Bella." he said casually, I was glad that he didn't seem to notice the double meaning in my words, I was never good with good-byes. I took one last look back at the other Cullen's, taking in everything about them. I looked at Alice first, I saw that she was, of course, wrapped in Jasper's arms; she was wearing a black jacket that had silver lining on it which matched the silver buttons, it covered her red top that clung loosely to her; it wouldn't have suited her outfit if her fingernails and toenails weren't painted red, _of course_ Alice would think about the small details of her outfit. She wore dark blue skinny jeans, her black and white strappy high-heels matched her white handbag with black outlines that had black ribbon and a logo that said 'Juicy' perfectly.

Jasper was dressed in more simple clothing, he was wearing a plain black v-neck shirt and over it he had a light grey buttoned down winter coat. I saw that he was wearing blue jeans that were a little faded; I looked down to his feet and saw he wore black Dunlops, on the front of them they had crossing lines in different shades of grey.

My eyes moved to the person next to Jasper and noticed that it was Rosalie. I was shocked to find that she wasn't glaring at me. She was wearing a v-neck black and grey tie-dye top that tied at the chest and wrapped around her torso, over that she had on a plain black open cardigan; her blue jeans were ripped on the knees and thighs, on her feet she had black open-toed heels, on the heel and sole there were white lines. Rosalie's handbag had the same pattern as her top, I also noticed, as I looked back at Alice to check, that both of the girls had a ring on their ring finger, but on the right hand, not the left, to a pass by person they would just look like a piece of jewelry but I knew they were actually their wedding rings.

Lastly I looked at Edward, I tried to look anywhere but at his face so I decided to look at his clothes as well; he had on a plain navy blue t-shirt but it looked flawless on him, on top of his t-shirt he wore a black zip-up sweater that showed off his muscles. His jeans were a deep shade of blue and hung loosely off his legs, his sneakers were a simple black lace shoe. I finally looked into his eyes and was immediately trapped, the amount of emotion coming out of them made me shiver but my sight of him was cut off way too early by a big head. I jumped back when I noticed the big head was Emmett and that he was still standing in front of me.

"Are you back to Earth yet Bella?" Emmett asked me with amusement.

"What?...Oh sorry." I stammered quietly, my face beginning to burn up.

"It's okay." he said chuckling, I bent down and retrieved my keys from the ground.

"Um... I'm glad you came back, it was nice to see you one more time..." I said trailing off; my mind was completely reeling now, feelings; memories and thoughts all at once.

"What do you mean one more time?" I vaguely heard Emmett say but I couldn't properly form a thought.

"Huh? Uh... Yeah I will... Um bye." I said and opened up my door after unlocking it but Emmett stopped me from getting in. I quickly looked over to The Cullen's and saw Alice holding Edwards arm, I could tell she was restraining him, I looked back to Emmett with a confused expression on my face.

"Tell me what you mean." He commanded softly, I shook my head to clear it but all it did was start a small headache, the last glance at Alice and Edward had only clouded my mind even more. I tried thinking about what Emmett had just said but the concentration made my headache worse.

"I... I have no idea.. My head hurts... Um..." I swiftly turned around and jumped into my truck, Emmett could have stopped me if he wanted to but he didn't. He didn't look happy but he finally walked away, I quickly looked at him closely trying to remember his hair, clothes and everything else about him. I watched as he met up with the rest of his family and as they began to talk, I looked on as Edward would take half steps in my direction before one of the others would stop him. I carelessly tried to start my truck but in my attempt to get away, I forgot to double pump the clutch when I tried to shift to reverse, which made the car stall; I took a deep breath and had to wait a few minutes before I successfully started the truck.

I drove home cautiously thinking about a new problem that had risen. _How am I supposed to avoid the Cullen's when they dominate most of my mind?_

When I walked into my house, I heard my cell phone beep signaling that I had a text message;

**YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO IGNORE US. YOU LOVE US, I KNOW YOU DO.  
I LOVE YOU  
ALICE X  
**

I sighed, in a way I knew Alice was right; but in another way I wanted to prove her wrong. I crossed my arms stubbornly and glowered at my cell phone. _I'll prove her wrong, I lived without them for six months, and I can do it again_.

[Author Note: I know this chapter probably sucked but I wanted Emmett to come into the chapter somehow. And I wanted Edward to stick to his promise about not talking to Bella about them until she's ready. I'm thinking about writing the next chapter as Edwards Pov in a repeat of this chapter, tell me what you think! So please review nevertheless, Flames are welcome as well]


	12. Airplanes

_Chapter 11 - Airplanes_

Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)  
Can we pretend that airplanes  
In the night sky  
Are like shooting stars  
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now).  
Yeah  
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish  
To go back to a place much simpler than this  
Cause after all the partying  
The smashing and crashing  
And all the glitz and the glam and the fashion  
And after all the pandemonium and all the madness  
There comes a time when you fade to the blackness  
When you're staring at that phone in your lap  
And hopin' but them people never call you back.

"Bella it's time to get up, you're running late for school" I faintly heard Charlie say from the other side of my closed bedroom door. I grumbled as I slowly got out of bed and picked out my outfit for the day; I didn't care if I was late today. The longer I could avoid the Cullens, the better.  
I decided on a teal long-sleeved top with black jeans, I looked through my shoes and found a pair of simple black ballet flats. [on profile]  
I opened my door and walked through to the bathroom, calling a "good-morning" to Charlie who I could hear downstairs. I took my time in the shower and let the warm water wash over me, after I got out I put on my clothes and brushed my hair when I had finished blow-drying it.  
I brushed my teeth quickly, knowing that I had already wasted enough time and walked down the stairs to say bye to my dad.

When I got into my truck, I took my ipod out from my black shoulder bag that had a white leaf design on the side of the flap and put the earphones into my ears. I started up my rusty car and made my way to the school.  
Just as I pulled into my parking spot - which I made sure was as far away from the silver Volvo as possible - the bell rang, signalling that it was time for class. I stepped away from my car door and turned up the volume to my music as I made my way into the building.  
"Bella!" I heard Alice Cullen yell from behind me, but I acted as if I hadn't heard her and kept walking. "Bella!" I heard her yell again, she was closer to me now.  
I quickly turned the corner and as I passed my locker I remembered that I needed to get my English book from it, I stopped in front of it and fiddled with the lock as fast as I could manage.  
"Hi Bella" Alice greeted as she bounced to a stop next to me, I ignored her once again and put my book into my bag while slamming my locker closed.  
"Why are you ignoring me?" She said as she started walking to keep pace with me, _maybe just a few words won't hurt_.  
"I'm late for class" I muttered as I picked up my speed.  
"Did I do something wrong?" Alice asked quietly, although loud enough for me. "What am I asking? Of course I did, I let my brother leave you..." I braced myself for the pain but was still shocked at the intensity of it, I didn't say anything back to Alice; I just kept walking and hoped that she would stop talking soon.  
Finally after what seemed like hours but in reality were only seconds, I found my exit and made my way into english class as I had already missed homeroom.  
"You're late Miss Swan." Mr. Varner said as I made my way to my seat next to Jessica.  
"I know, sorry sir I slept in" I said quietly and saw him give me an annoyed look for interrupting his class.  
"You're late as well Miss Cullen," I froze when I noticed that Mr. Varner was talking to Alice, _what the... Since when is she in this class?_ "I would think that on you're first day in a new class, you would make sure you were on time."  
"Sorry Mr Varner, I was in the office." Alice chirped and walked gracefully to the only spare seat, which happened to be next to Mike Newton and in front of Jessica and me.  
"As I was saying..." I barely listened as Mr Varner began talking about Shakespear.

The rest of class passed by slowly and finally the teacher was telling us that the bell was about to go. I quickly packed up my things and walked out of the room in the direction of Trigonometry, but I was quickly stopped by a frightening Alice.  
"I want to know what I did that has made you ignore me Bella." She demanded, I tried to make my way around her but she blocked my way.  
"Go away Alice" She looked at me in shock and I took that time to make my escape, I weaved around her and walked quickly to my next class; thankfully not running into any more Cullens.  
I stepped into Trigonometry and saw the principal Mr Greene standing at the front of the room, he didn't speak until everyone had taken their seats.  
"Todays class has been cancelled due to your teacher getting sick and we didn't have enough time to find a replacement." He said in a monotone, he gave each of us a stern look before he walked out of the class.

Instantly, everyone started talking and gossiping and a few students actually left the room.  
"... No I dont think they're back together, and I doubt they'd be getting back with each other either." I heard Jessica Stanley say to someone but I didn't know who she was talking to or about.  
"Do you think she still likes him?" Lauren Mallory asked.  
"Absolutely, you should have seen her face when I told her that they were back." Jessica said, _oh god I think they're talking about me._ "Well I don't blame her though, he's a god."  
"I don't think he likes her, I mean, if he did he would be acting like it right? And he's not... Do you think she put out? Maybe that's why he went out with her..." Lauren was mumbling, I tuned her out; I really didn't want to listen to what Jessica Stanley or Lauren Mallory thought about Edward and I.  
As the talking became too much to bare, I pulled out my ipod and turned it on to shuffle mode.  
The first song that played was _Rain by Creed._

Can you help me out?  
Can you lend me a hand?  
It's safe to say that I'm stuck again  
Trapped between this life and the light  
I just can't figure out how to make it right  
A thousand times before  
I've wondered if there's something more, something more  
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days  
So let it rain down and wash everything away  
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine  
With every tomorrow comes another life  
I feel it's gonna rain for days and days  
I feel it's gonna rain  
I tried to figure out  
I can understand what it means to be whole again  
Trapped between the truth and the consequence  
Nothing's real, nothing's making sense  
A thousand times before  
I've wondered if there's something more, something more  
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days  
So let it rain down and wash everything away  
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine  
I feel it's gonna rain like this, rain like this, rain like this  
Fall down, wash away my yesterdays  
Fall down, so let the rain fall down on me  
I feel it's gonna rain like this for days  
Let it rain down and wash everything away  
I hope that tomorrow the sun will shine  
I feel it's gonna rain like this, rain like this  
I feel it's gonna rain like this, rain like this  
I feel it's gonna rain like this,  
I feel it's gonna rain.

The music faded and the song changed to _Can't Be Tamed by Miley Cyrus_.

For those who don't know me,  
I can get a bit crazy  
Have to get my way, yep 24 hours a day  
'Cuz I'm hot like that  
Every guy, everywhere just gives me mad attention  
Like I'm under inspection,  
I always get a ten  
'Cuz I'm built like that  
I go through guys like money flyin' out the hands  
They try to change me but they realize they can't  
And every tomorrow is a day  
I never plan If you gonna be my man understand  
I can't be tamed,  
I can't be tamed,  
I can't be blamed  
I can't can't, I can't can't be tamed  
I can't be changed I can't be tamed,  
I can't be be,  
I can't be tamed If there is a question about my intentions  
I'll tell ya I'm not here to sell ya  
Or tell you to go to hell (I'm not a brat like that)  
I'm like a puzzle but all of my pieces are jagged  
If you can understand this  
We can make some magic  
I'm wrong like that  
I wanna fly, I wanna drive,  
I wanna go I wanna be a part of something I don't know  
And if you try to hold me back I might explode  
Baby by now you should know  
I can't be tamed, I can't be tamed,  
I can't be blamed I can't can't,  
I can't can't be tamed  
I can't be changed I can't be tamed,  
I can't be be, I can't be tamed  
Well I'm not a trick you play  
I'm wired a different way  
I'm not a mistake, I'm not a fake, It's set in my DNA  
Don't change me, don't change me  
Don't change me, don't change me (I can't be tamed)  
I wanna fly, I wanna drive, I wanna go  
I wanna be a part of something I don't know  
And if you try to hold me back I might explode  
Baby by now you should know  
I can't be tamed, I can't be tamed,  
I can't be blamed I can't can't,  
I can't can't be tamed I can't be changed  
I can't be tamed, I can't be be,  
I can't be tamed.  
  
I looked to the clock and saw that the class still had 45 minutes left, I took out one of my books and started doodling absentmindedly in the margins while my ipod changed to the next song, _Eenie Meenie by Justin Bieber_.

Eenie meenie miney mo  
Catch a bad chick by her toe  
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go  
Shes indecisive  
She cant decide  
She keeps on lookin  
From left to right  
Girl, cmon get closer  
Look in my eyes  
Searchin is so wrong  
Im Mr. Right  
You seem like the type  
To love em and leave em  
And disappear right after this song.  
So give me the night  
To show you, hold you  
Dont leave me out here dancin alone  
You cant make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind  
Please dont waste my time, time, time, time, time  
Im not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind,  
wind I wish our hearts could come together as one  
Cause shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Let me show you what your missin  
Paradise  
With me youre winning girl  
You dont have to roll the dice  
Tell me what youre really here for  
Them other guys?  
I can see right through ya  
You seem like the type  
To love em and leave em  
And disappear right after the song.  
So give me the night  
To show you, hold you  
Dont leave me out here dancin alone  
Cant make up your mind  
Please dont waste my time  
Not tryin to rewind  
I wish our hearts could come together as one  
Cause shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Eenie meenie miney moe  
Catch a bad chick by her toe  
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go  
Eenie meenie miney moe  
Catch a bad chick by her toe  
If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova  
Cant make up your mind  
Please dont waste my time  
Not tryin to rewind  
I wish our hearts could come together as one.  
  
The song ended and I continued drawing on my book as I waited for the next song to start but before it did I heard Jessica speaking.  
"Do you think all of them are still together?" She asked quietly.  
"I don't know, probably" It was Angela who Jess was talking with now.  
"Do you think Alice and Jasper are still an item?" Jessica asked, I was suspicious now. Why would Jess single out Jasper and Alice? Angela seemed to have been thinking along the same lines as me because she asked.  
"Why?" I waited impatiently for Jess to answer her question but just as she did, my music started up again. I quickly hit **pause** and listened closely.  
"What? As if, I thought you liked Edward?" Angela was saying, I missed what Jessica had said.  
"Well... I do, but I don't know. Jasper just has this aura about him..." She trailed off, probably into one of her fantasies. So Jess likes Jasper?... And Edward? "Do you think Jasper would date me?" I froze, confused.  
"But he's dating Alice" _married to Alice_ I mentally corrected.  
"I know... For now anyway." Jessica said slyly. My anger flared up in a second, _how dare she_.  
"What are you -" Angela didn't finish her sentence because I got to my feet and turned around. I didn't know what I was doing, I just had to let my anger out.  
"How dare you. Jasper and Alice are deeply in love and if you think that you can break them up then you are sorely mistaken. And if you think you even have the slightest chance to get his attention then you are more daft than you look." I growled at her, Jessica and Angela had their mouths open, obviously not expecting my outburst. I picked up my things and stormed out of the room, I wasn't oblivious to all the eyes that followed me out the door.  
I stepped away from the classroom and was immediately met by Alice, she looked like she wanted to cry and threw her arms around me.  
"Thank you" She whispered in my ear, I stiffened in her arms and waited for her to let go.  
"It's no problem" I mumbled, she slowly loosened her grip on me, her eyes sad.  
"Are you going to forgive us?" She asked softly, seeming like she was afraid of the answer.  
"I've already forgiven you all" I answered simply and saw her eyes brighten but then turn confused.  
"Then why are you avoiding us so much?" She asked.  
"I can't get close to you... Not again... Not if..." I trailed off and looked down as my eyes started to get watery. I took a deep breath and looked up, "You should get back to class." I said to Alice and started to walk towards the benches that were under the shelter.  
"No I don't, I'll make up some excuse." Alice chirped a she bounced next to me.  
"Um... I don't think us spending time together is a good idea..." I said slowly, trying not to hurt her.  
"But... We don't have to talk about what happened..." I thought about it for a while and then nodded my head.  
"Yay!" Alice said and followed me to the bench. "So how has your day been so far?" She asked casually.  
"It's been okay, how has yours been?" I asked rather awkwardly. I looked down and noticed for the first time that day what Alice was wearing, she had on plain black long tights with a brown shirt that went to her thighs, she had a black coat over her arm and surprisingly Alice was wearing high heels today that matched her top. I looked around and saw a simple brown handbag on the bench that matched her brown waist belt.  
"Mine's been alright." Alice answered. It was silent for a very long time before I voiced a question that had been haunting me since the day they left.  
"Alice?" I asked, gaining her attention.  
"Yes Bella?"  
"I know we said that we wouldn't talk about what happened but I need to ask you something... Why didn't you say good-bye? I mean... Did-did I do something wrong?" I asked, not confident enough to look at her face, so I watched my hands.  
"Bella" Alice gasped and I quickly looked at her, fearing that something was wrong. She was staring at me with wide eyes. "The only reason I did that was because Edward said a clean break would help you heal faster, I didn't want you to suffer any more than you had to." I looked down again and tried to calm myself down enough that my eyes would stop tearing up, but they just wouldn't; eventually a tear escaped down my cheek and I felt Alice wipe it away.  
"Why are you crying?" She asked softly.  
"All this time, I thought that apart from the... Obvious stuff; my best friend hated me." I whispered shakily, "It was almost as painful as knowing that he..." I trailed off, not being able to finish the sentence.  
"I could never hate you Bella" She hugged her arms around me and this time I hugged her back, "I love you with all my heart"  
"I love you too Alice" It was silent again for a few minutes before I thought of another thing that had confused me. "Why are you in my English class now?"  
"Well... I wanted to spend more time with you" She said sheepishly.  
"Oh" Just then the bell rang, Alice and I both looked at each other but we didn't move, I looked around us and saw students making their way across the courtyard to the cafeteria; I peered back behind Alice's head and saw Rosalie making her way over to the bench. I quickly glanced at her and saw that she had on plain black jeans with a grey shirt that had black and white lines crossing over it, she was wearing a simple white jacket that had silver buttons on it and her high heels matched her top. I couldn't see a handbag.  
"There you are Alice, Hello Bella" Rosalie said once she had reached us.  
"Hi" I said quietly, slightly shocked that she had acknowledged me at all.  
"This is actually good because I wanted to talk to you... Well apologize really" She continued, I was confused.  
"Apologize? For what?"  
"For acting the way I did, I had no right to be so rude to you." She said grimly.  
"Oh, well that's okay, I understand why you did it."  
"That still doesn't change what I did, but thank you anyway Bella." Rosalie said with a smile on her face, I smiled back at her, glad that the grudge Rosalie had against me seemed to have worn off.  
"Well, I need to go get lunch. So.." I mumbled standing up and gave an awkward wave.  
"We'll walk with you" Alice said as she jumped away from the bench in a way that would make me trip over if I tried to do the same.  
Rosalie and Alice walked by my side - with Alice on my right and Rosalie on my left - as we entered the cafeteria, we walked towards where the food was and I bought an apple and water; Alice looked at them disapprovingly.  
"What?" I asked looking at what I had in my hands.  
"That's not very much food" She answered while Rosalie paid for their food.  
"I'm not hungry" I shrugged as I waited for Rosalie to take her food so I could pay the cafeteria lady.  
"Will you sit with us?" Alice asked as I took back my apple and water after I had paid.  
"I... Uh, I don't think so" I said awkwardly.  
"Please" Alice asked, looking at me from under her lashes. I sighed as I felt myself begin to reluctantly agree to Alice, I felt it coming in waves and knew what was happening; as much as I tried I couldn't fight off Jasper's gift.  
"Fine" I grumbled as I shot daggers at Jasper, Alice beamed and pulled me by the hand to the table that her family sat at.  
"Hey Bella" Emmett said once we had sat down at the table, Rosalie sat next to Emmett while Alice sat in between Jasper and Edward, which left me to sit between Emmett and Edward.  
"Hello"  
"Good Afternoon Bella" I heard the beautiful voice say from next to me, I reveled in the sound of him before I realized that I should answer.  
"Hi, Hello Jasper"  
"Hi" Jasper replied politely before he turned to Alice and started a conversation with her, I looked to Emmett and Rosalie and noticed that they were wrapped up in eachother. _This is going to get awkward_.  
"Um... How's your day been?" I asked Edward, turning my body to face him.  
"Increasingly better, how has yours been?" He asked, smiling crookedly at me, my breathing hitched and I forgot all about the conversation we were having.  
"You should eat now" Edward whispered  
"Okay" I answered but made no indication of moving. Edward sighed and stopped smiling though I could clearly still see the amusement on his features.  
After a lot of control I managed to get my breathing back to a reasonable speed, I picked up my apple from the table and turned it slowly in my hands.  
"You never answered my question" I heard Edward's velvety voice say.  
"What was the question?" I asked and then took a bite of my apple.  
"How is your day going?" I thought about my answer while I chewed.  
"It's been alright" I answered simply, it was silent for a few minutes before he spoke again.  
"I heard about you sticking up for Alice and Jasper's relationship, that was very nice of you."  
"It was no big deal" I said and took another bite of my apple.  
"I beg to differ" He replied smoothly, I looked up at him and blushed a deep red when I saw him staring at me the way he used to. I felt a pang in my chest when I realised that he probably didn't intentionally look at me like that, I looked back down to my apple and continued turning it; suddenly I wasn't all that hungry.  
I put my apple back on the table and sat back in my chair, crossing my legs.  
"You're not hungry?" Edward asked, his voice coated with concern.  
"Not anymore"  
"Do you feel okay?" Alice piped up, I turned and saw that everyone at the table was looking at me, I blushed slightly when I noticed this.  
"Yeah i'm fine" I glanced around the cafeteria to avoid their eyes, I stopped at the table that I usually sat at and saw that Jessica and Lauren were staring at us, or more precisely staring at Edward and glaring at me. I wanted to be able to take his hand in mine to show Lauren and Jessica as well as everyone else that wanted him that Edward was mine and always will be; but I couldn't because he wasn't mine and probably never will be again, for all I knew he could want one of them back. My breathing got a little labored and I wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to hold myself together.  
"Are you cold?" Edward asked and started shrugging off his black leather jacket which showed his white v-neck shirt.  
"N-no i'm not cold" I said as casually as I could manage but when I felt myself become instantly calm I knew that I atleast hadn't fooled Jasper.  
"We're going to get to class" I heard Emmett say and as I looked up, I saw Rosalie and him stand up with their tray of untouched food.  
"See-ya Bella" Emmett said as he took Rosalie's hand and led her towards the door. I looked at Emmett and saw his clothes for the first day as he walked away, he was wearing a long-sleeved pale blue shirt with long black cargo pants. He had on black and white dunlop sneakers and a black hooded jacket [on profile]  
"Bye" Rosalie said as she followed him.  
"Bye" I mumbled although I knew they could hear me. I checked my watch and saw that the bell was set to ring in a couple of minutes so I figured that I would leave as well so I could avoid the crowd.  
"Um, Im gonna go to class as well. So... Bye" I said while standing up.  
"Bye Bella, I'll see you soon" Alice chirped  
"See you later" Jasper said and I could faintly hear his Southern accent.  
"Do you mind if I walk with you?" Edward asked, looking up at me with his topaz eyes melting. My breathing hitched and I struggled to speak properly.  
"N-no" I answered and when I saw his face fall I realised that he had mis-interpreted my answer, "I mean I don't mind" I said with a slight smile; it was easy to smile at him when he wasn't looking directly at me. He then looked back up with a grin on his face and swiftly stood up.  
"Are Carlisle and Esme in town?" I asked after I couldn't stand the awkward silence any longer.  
"Yes they are, would you like to see them? They miss you a lot" I thought about it for a while and decided that I really did want to see them.  
"I really would actually... Do you mind?..." I looked at him nervously, I don't know if I could handle rejection a second time.  
"Why would I mind?" Edward asked, seeming very shocked. I didn't reply though, I just looked at him sadly from the corner of my eye. "Bella... We need to talk about this soon..."  
"I... I know" I whispered awkwardly, "when I come to see Carlisle and Esme then?"  
By now we were at our biology classroom, so we both walked to the back of the room where we shared a desk; Mr Banner started the lesson a few moments after so we couldn't continue our conversation.  
I was looking at my notebook absentmindedly when I saw a flash of white and then a paper on top of my hands, I pulled back slightly momentarily stunned by the quickness of what had just happened.

_You really want to talk tonight?_  
I ignored the slight pang in my chest and quickly scribbled a reply.  
_**Well... We don't have to if you don't want to.**_  
I folded the note and passed it back to him, it was only mili-seconds before it was put in front of me again.  
_I want nothing more than to talk about us, I just didn't think you would want to speak so soon._  
_**I'm as ready as I'll ever be, I just don't know how I will feel later. So if I back out, don't be surprised. Haha.**_  
I wrote, trying to make a joke out of it, although it didn't work.  
_Would you like to talk now then? Incase you do back out_  
I thought about what Edward had written and knew he had a point, I also knew that I probably would lose my nerve if I waited until tonight.  
_**Okay, I guess that's a good idea.**_  
_Thank you, Can I start?"_  
I pondered that for a while and decided that if I was ever going to be able to tell him even half the things I wanted to then I had to go first.  
_**Do you mind if I do?**_  
_Of course not, go ahead_  
Right then, the bell rang. _That was the quickest class ever._  
"Oh, maybe we should talk later instead now" I said quietly when I noticed everyone was packing up their things.  
"Well... Unless you want to skip last class and talk now?" Edward suggested, which was really out of character for him.  
"Um, okay... Yeah"  
We both picked up our stuff and walked quickly out to the car park.  
"Should we take my truck so the others have your car to get home in?" I asked as I hesitated in the middle of the lot.  
"Yeah" Edward said and took off in the direction of my Chevy. When I got to my car, I unlocked the doors and we both got in.  
"Where are we going?" I asked quietly  
"My house?" He suggested and I nodded my head in agreement.  
I drove the long drive to The Cullens mansion and slowly pulled up in front of it, I let my truck idle for a moment before I shut off the engine and took out the key. I went to open the door but it was already open and I saw Edward standing on the other side waiting patiently for me. I quietly thanked him and got out of my seat.  
I steadily made my way up the front stairs and walked through the threshold once Edward had opened the door, the moment I stepped into the home I was pulled into a desperate hug by Esme; I hugged her back greedily and sobbed with her, although she didn't shed any tears.  
After Esme let go of me, I was quickly pulled into another hug but this time by Carlisle. When Carlisle pulled out of the hug, he kissed me on the forehead and stepped into the arms of Esme, I smiled back at them brightly.  
It was silent for the longest time as my second-parents in so many ways looked back and forth between Edward and I in a way that I would have usually questioned. But at the moment I didn't mind, it was almost as if I had my old life back; minus the love of my life who stood less than a metre away from me.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**

**_[Author Note: Okay, I know it's been a while since I have updated this story and Im very sorry. And I know this chapter says To be continued, but i had to do it because i thought the chapter went for too long and theres still alot I want to write. So I'll continue it on from exactly where it ended. Thanks for reading and remember to review :) xx]_**


	13. Airplanes Cont

Chapter 12 – Airplanes Continued.

Finally after what seemed like hours, Edward excused us from his parents and after assuring them that we would come back after we had spoken; he led me through the house and up to where his room was.

I moved over to where his black leather couch was and shakily sat down – being back in this room brought back unwanted memories that I had managed to keep locked away for so long. Edward sat down next to me keeping a safe distance and slowly reached over and took my hand in his, I wanted to pull away but I didn't have the strength.

"I never thought I'd be able to hold your hand again" Edward whispered as he linked our fingers together, I couldn't look him in the eye so I just settled for looking at our hands. With his touch came more memories of us spending countless nights together in my room, when I couldn't take the pain anymore I pulled my hand out of his and moved over on the lounge.

Edward sighed and then spoke, "Can I start?" I briefly nodded my head and prepared for what was going to come next. "I am so sorry Bella; I never meant to hurt you… I thought it would be best for you if we left…" He didn't finish what he was saying; I made a small cry of anguish and got up from where we were sitting. _I'm not ready for this… I can't go through this again_.

"I'm sorry… I can't do this Edward" I was surprised at how calm my voice sounded when inside I was anything but.

"Bella!" Edward called after me but I was already out the door and on my way to the staircase, in one second he was in front of me and my path was blocked. "Please don't go, I need you to hear this" I shook my head, trying desperately to keep my tears at bay and tried to get around him but once again, he was there in less than a second.

"I need you to know how I feel about you" he explained, I shook my head again; this time letting out a little cry and pushed past him. I wanted to tell him that I already knew how he felt about me, that I knew he didn't love me and probably never will again, that he doesn't want me and that I was only a distraction. I also knew that if Edward had wanted to stop me, then he could have; though I was thankful that he didn't.

By the time I had reached the entryway, Carlisle and Esme had come into the room and as I reached the front door, it swung open and in front of me stood the rest of The Cullen's.

"_Bella!_" boomed Emmett, the rest of the Cullen's had noticed that something wasn't right but not him, I was swooped off the ground and into a bone crushing hug; Emmett only put me down when I heard what sounded like cement crashing together. "Ow!"

"Put her down Emmett" Rosalie said and when I was safely on the floor again I made my way around them and out the door without a word.

My path was once again blocked when I was about half way to my old Chevy but this time it wasn't by Edward or the only other Cullen who would want to stop me; it was Emmett again.

"I…Um…I'm sorry if my hug hurt you…" he said, sounding kind of confused. I let out a quiet laugh and shook my head slightly.

"It wasn't the hug" I murmured and continued walking towards my car, Emmett easily kept pace with me, I sighed and turned around to face him; though I couldn't look him in the eye. "Yes Emmett?"

"Where are you going?" he asked, leaning against my truck but not enough so that he would make an indention.

"Home," I stated and took out my keys to unlock the door, I expected him to move away when he saw my keys in my hand; but he didn't. "Would you please move out of my way?"

"But I'm not done talking to you yet… How come you're leaving? I thought you and Edward would still be making up"

"Well we're not, so please let me go" I tried to push Emmett out of the way of my truck but – of course; he didn't budge at all.

"Ha ha ha, Bella you should know by now that you're not stronger than a vampire" He chuckled as he folded his arms across his chest. I pursed my lips for a few seconds and made my way around to the other door to my truck; but before I could get there… Emmett was leaning against that door as well; I sighed exasperatedly and tapped my foot.

"You don't have to go, y'know" I snapped my head around to the sound of the voice and saw that it was Jasper, he was standing with the rest of his family; minus Edward – whom was nowhere to be seen.

"I want to" I stated, even more upset now that I saw Edward didn't care if I actually left, I walked around the side of my truck again – slower this time and opened up my door, I looked out my side window and saw Emmett still standing there; I turned away from him and started up the engine.

"Just let her go Em" Rosalie murmured, though loud enough for me to hear, I pulled back and out of their driveway and quietly made my way home.

On the trip from The Cullen house and Charlie's house, I stopped off at the shops to get something for dinner.

"Is that all?" Lauren Mallory asked as she scanned the chicken and bread crumbs, I looked up and saw that she was watching me – though trying to be polite and professional, I could see some impatience in her fish-like eyes.

"Yes please" I murmured and handed her the money.

"You had no right to say what you did to Jess and Me" I heard Lauren whisper before handing my groceries in a bag and handing me my receipt, I ignored what she had said and walked out of the store and to my car.

When I got home, I hung my school bag on the back of the kitchen chair and decided to do an essay that was due on Thursday for English before I started preparing the Chicken Schnitzel for dinner.

"Bella?" Charlie called out as he opened the front door, there was a clinking as he hung up his gun-belt and took off his boots.

"In here dad" I called back as I packed up my school books and got up to start dinner.

"Someone's here to see you" I paused in front of the fridge, my heart instantly started racing – I was kind of hoping and dreading that it would be one of The Cullen's; I turned around and saw Jacob Black standing in the doorway that separated the entryway and the kitchen.

"Jake?" I stared for a few seconds in shock, Jacob had really changed since the last time I had seen him. He had just started filling out when we said our good-byes, but now… now he looked like he was about 25 years old; not 17.

"Hey Bells" Jacob said, coming into the kitchen and sitting down at the dinner table; I watched Charlie as he went into the lounge room to watch the game.

"What are you doing here Jacob?" I asked as I turned back around and took out the chicken along with the eggs and got the crumbs from the counter.

"I came to see if you were alright" he said tightly, I looked behind me and saw Jake watching me closely; when I looked more carefully I also saw that he was frowning and slightly shaking – though it seemed understandable with the less than normal amount of clothes that he was wearing.

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" I asked, although I knew the reason behind why I wouldn't – and wasn't alright, but there's no way Jake could know The Cullen's were back… Even in Forks, news doesn't travel_ that _fast.

"Because of those… those…" he trailed off and was shaking harder… he looked really angry; I turned back around to the chicken to hide my shocked face.

"Those what?" I asked when I had recovered and started putting the crumbed chicken into the frying pan.

"So what are ya cooking?" Jake had moved from the kitchen table and was now standing right next to me, looking over my shoulder at what I was doing.

"Um… Chicken Schnitzel" I said quietly, baffled at how quickly his mood changed. "Did you wanna stay for dinner?"

"I'd like to… But I've gotta get back to La Push" Jake sighed and looked at the wall clock as if for effect.

"To Billy? Why don't you invite him here as well, I'm sure there'll be enough food." I suggested.

"Nah, I've got some stuff I need to do" Jacob explained and pulled me into a swift hug – causing me to drop my pair of tongs on the floor. "Bye Bells"

"See-you-later Charlie" he called as he walked out of the kitchen and towards the front door.

"See-ya Jake"

Dinner passed by quickly and before I knew it, I was sitting on my bed with my copy of Wuthering Heights.

_I have just returned from a visit to my landlord - the solitary neighbour that I shall be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful country! In all England, I do not believe that I could have fixed on a situation so completely removed from the stir of society. A perfect misanthropist's heaven: and Mr. Heathcliff and I are such a suitable pair to divide the desolation between us. A capital fellow! He little imagined how my heart warmed towards him when I beheld his black eyes withdraw so suspiciously under their brows, as I rode up, and when his fingers sheltered themselves, with a jealous resolution, still further in his waistcoat, as I announced my name._

_'Mr. Heathcliff?' I said._

_A nod was the answer…_

I wasn't reading for long before I was distracted by my cell phone ringing, I picked it up and flashing across the screen was _Angela._

"Hello?" I asked after I had pressed 'Answer'.

"Hi Bella" Angela said cautiously on the other end of the line.

"Hi Angela" I murmured, closing my book and putting it on my bedside table, there was a minutes silence before Ang spoke.

"I just wanted to call to apologize about earlier today…"

"But you weren't there Ang" I explained, the memories of today flooding back to me, I hadn't thought of them much tonight; I had been too busy to think of anything other than what I was doing.

"I know, but I knew Jess was thinking about it, I just want you to know that I don't think she meant anything by it…she wouldn't have done anything, I think she was just mostly upset that the Cullen's didn't pay her any attention when they returned"

"Never-the-less, she still said it" I murmured, tracing the patterns on my doona.

"That's true… the Cullen's are lucky to have you Bella, you're a good friend." Angela said politely, I smiled a little into the phone and returned the compliment.

"I guess I should go, thank you for calling me. Bye." I said and hung up after Angela had said her good-byes.

I laid back down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling – _why did they come back? Obviously they're staying because they had enrolled back into Forks High. Will we ever go back to the way things were? What do they think of me now? _These were the questions that kept circling around my head as I drifted off to sleep, like every night since _they've_ come back.

_Ring – Ring….Ring – Ring…Ring – Ring_

I woke up to the sound of the house phone ringing, I got out of bed unstably and hurried down the stairs as fast as my sluggish state would let me.

"Hello?" I yawned into the receiver

"Bella? What are you still doing home?" I heard Charlie's surprised voice say, I checked the clock near the phone and saw that it was 9:48am.

"Oh! I must have slept in, sorry dad." I said, now more awake than I had been a few seconds ago.

"It's okay Bells, just hurry up so you don't miss too much. I was just calling to leave a message saying that I'm not going to be home for dinner tonight, there's been an attack on the coast between La Push and Forks, so I have to work back tonight."

"An attack…? What kind?" I asked, my mind instantly going to those attacks from a few months ago, just after _they_ left.

"Another animal attack, like the ones a couple of months back." Charlie said a little pre-occupied, I took this as my cue to leave.

"Okay well I'll let you get back to work, be safe." I said.

"I will Bells, please don't go anywhere after school, I don't want to risk anything happening to you." Charlie said, I knew he was referring to the time I went Hiking and saw the Bears – although they weren't bears at all…they were Wolves.

"I won't, Bye"

"Bye Bella, have a good day at school." I hung up and walked back up the staircase towards the bathroom.

After my shower, I got dressed into a blue flannelette shirt, a pair of black jeans and added my shiny black ballet flats [on profile]. I quickly combed through my hair and brushed my teeth, as I rushed out the door, I grabbed my black leather shoulder bag and the bag that I had used yesterday – I figured that I would put the things into my new bag when I got to school, and walked to my truck.

I pulled into the only spare car spot in the tiny parking lot in Forks High School and turned off the ignition, I moved my school things into my new bag and got out of my truck, I was thankful that the Cullen's car was parked a few spaces away from me; so that I would be able to leave school this afternoon uninterrupted by them.

"There you go dear" the office lady said as she handed me the slip.

"Thank you" I murmured and made my way out of the small office and in the direction of my Government class.

"Miss Swan, you're late" Mr Jefferson said as I closed the door to the classroom behind me and walked over to where he was seated to hand him my late slip.

"I know, sorry sir" I murmured and took the first spare seat that I could find – thankfully I didn't have any Cullen's in this class. The girl I sat next to had long black hair, which probably sat to the middle of her back and had a full fringe, she had full lips and brown eyes. She also looked like she had some Asian heritage in her but I couldn't be sure, her nose was a little too long for the set of her face and she had light freckles across her cheeks. I saw she was wearing a white hooded jumper but I couldn't see what else she was wearing because we were both seated in our seats – I recognized her as Rachel Miles, a girl that I hadn't had much contact with.

Class passed by way too slowly and eventually after what seemed like hours, it was time for Trigonometry with Mr Mason.

"Hi Bella" I looked up and saw Angela hesitating by the chair next to mine, I saw that she was wearing a long sleeved white and brown striped top, grey skinny jeans, a pair of white ballet flats that had gold buckles on the top, she also had a big white handbag which had gold charms on it [on profile].

"Hi" I said with a small smile, Ang motioned to the seat next to mine with a hopeful smile; I moved my bag from that desk and gave her a small nod.

"Good morning class, I apologize for my absence yesterday" Mr Mason said as he set his briefcase down on his desk. "Let's begin".

We spent the lesson measuring angles of buildings as revision.

"Okay everyone, the bell is about to ring, so pack up your things and you may have an early mark."

I put my pencil case into my bag and closed up my Trig books, I then made my way with Angela to my locker.

"Are you sitting with us today?" Ang asked as I slammed my locker shut.

"Yeah why wouldn't I?" I murmured as we began walking towards the cafeteria.

"I thought you might have been sitting with The Cullen's again" she said casually, not resentfully or judging me like Jessica would have been.

"Oh, no I'm not" I said and after that, the walk was quiet.

We made our way over to the food line and Angela ordered a salad and Pepsi while I got a sandwich and Sprite.

"Hi Bella" Mike greeted when we reached our usual table. I looked at Jessica and Lauren but when we made eye contact, they both looked away quickly; I turned back to Mike rather smug.

"Hi" I said and sat down between Tyler Crowley and Angela.

The table was quiet while everyone ate, and about 10 minutes later Jess and Lauren stood up together.

"Um, we're going to the bathroom" Jessica said and as they walked off, I saw Jess was wearing a white v neck top that had 'GSTAR' in grey letters, she also wore blue skinny jeans with a black cardigan. I saw that around her neck, she had a long silver chain and on the end of it was an owl. [on profile]

Lauren Mallory was wearing a red dress that had some tan colour on it; she was also wearing black leggings and a black cardigan, she picked up her handbag and I saw that it was black with silver on the front. [on profile]

As the girls walked off, I noticed that Jessica was wearing black leather ballet flats while Lauren was wearing silver ballet flats, but the sides of them were transparent.

Feeling eyes on me, I looked around – expecting to see at least one person looking in my direction, but no one was watching me. I turned back to my table and continued picking at my sandwich.

"Hey Bella" I peeked back up from my sandwich and saw Rachel from my Government class – the girl I had sat next to.

"Hi Rachel" I said politely, though I was confused since we'd never spoken much before.

"Um, do you mind if we talk for a minute?" she asked

"Um sure, what's up?"

"Could we talk outside?" I nodded my head and stood up, as I was doing so I saw that she was wearing light blue skinny jeans, there was part of her grey top poking out from under the hoodie that I had seen on her before. As I reached down to get my bag from next to my chair I noticed that she had on white ballet flats. [on profile]

I followed Rachel out the cafeteria doors and into the courtyard area where we sat on the benches.

"So what's up?" I asked, thinking that maybe she needed help with Trigonometry and didn't want everyone to know.

"Well, you used to date Edward Cullen, right?" Rachel asked rather nervously, I froze and felt my heart drop painfully.

"Yes…" I trailed off, "why?"

"I was wondering…are you two going to, you know; go out again?" she asked me, I looked away from her and down at my hands, beginning to awkwardly twirl them.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, _surely she didn't honestly ask that… I've never spoken to her and she's asking me about something so private._

"It's just that… well I like Edward, and if you're not going to date him; I wanted to."

"That's a very personal question Rachel… and well, I don't know you" I murmured, almost so silently that she wouldn't have been able to hear me.

"I know, I'm sorry but I didn't want to start dating him and hurt your feelings… I also didn't want to make a fool of myself if you two are getting back together." Rachel said softly, I cleared my throat and looked up at her.

"I don't think it's really any of your business about my love-life." I stood up as a gesture that I was planning to leave, Rachel stood with me.

"I know it's not but I guessed that if he dated you then…" she motioned between us, I folded my arms across my chest and glared at the ground.

Just before I spoke, I looked back at her "You think that because he dated someone like me, then he'll for sure date you?" Rachel didn't say anything, just looked at me; kind of shyly and ashamed – as if I had actually guessed what she was thinking.

"Do what you want Rachel, it's not like we're friends." I said quickly and turned on my heels – walking off.

I made my way back into the canteen, quickly chancing a glance at The Cullen Table and saw Alice gesture to me to go over to them but I moved my eyes away from them and looked down at my feet as I walked back to the table I was sitting at before Rachel had interrupted me.

"What was that about?" Mike asked as I sat back down, I just shook my head and sat back in my chair and waited for the bell to ring.

I couldn't help but think of the big_ what if… what if Edward and Rachel do end up together? _Although I knew that was unlikely to happen, Edward wouldn't get involved with another human and risk exposure. _It's happened once, it could happen again._

_**[Author Note: Okay I'm so sorry it took me so long to post this, I kept having Writer's Block and I really wanted to do it right, so hopefully it's up to standard for you all. Although I have an idea that it's not the best I've done. So yes, once again sorry. AND REVIEW!]**_


	14. Pretend

_Chapter 13 – Pretend_

It seems all of these words couldn't be further from the truth  
How did I get here? What did I do?

Your eyes, telling me lies  
And making me find myself  
While you have your agenda, a life to pursue

So please,  
Let me be free from you.  
And please, let me be free  
I can face the truth.

I'm blind to all of your colours  
That used to be rainbow then  
My eyes, where did the go to?  
Why disappear?

-.- -.- -.- -.-

The next day I woke up feeling groggy and under-slept, I checked my clock and saw that it was 8:33am, I groaned and rolled back over, I had English first today.

_I can afford to miss one day of school _I yawned as I drifted back off to sleep.

"_WAKE UP_" A loud voice screamed in my ear, I jumped and had a mini spaz attack in my bed; I sat up – breathing heavily.

"Damn it Alice!" I yelled in frustration, I looked around my room and saw her searching through my closet, pulling things out and putting stuff back.

"Sorry Bella but you need to get up, you'll be late for school." She told me as she pulled out a dark silver top and smiled at it before hanging it on the chair next to her.

"I'm not going" I murmured as I covered my head with blankets, an instant later, the sheets were pulled away from me.

"You've got a pop test today, so get up, I've picked out an outfit for you to wear" I mentally cursed whichever teacher had planned a test for today and grumpily got out of my bed.

I grabbed the clothes that Alice had picked out for me and trudged across to the bathroom, I put on a pair of clean underwear and started dressing in the outfit I was supposed to wear, Alice had picked out a dark silver top that had an attached material belt and across the chest was a wrap-around bow, she had also chosen a pair of long black leggings and shiny black ballet flats that had a bow on the corner of each _[on profile]_.

I washed my face, brushed my teeth and combed through my hair before I went back to my room and saw Alice sitting on my now-made bed.

"Oh, you didn't have to make my bed…" I said as she got up, now that I was awake and more alert, I realized that Alice was actually here and I was acting so casual toward her. "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't want you to miss your exam" she said simply as she started choosing a jacket for me.

"But I thought we were only going to talk at school? That's all I can handle" I murmured and took my blue denim jacket off the back of my chair and shrugged it on.

"I'm not going anywhere Bella" I ignored Alice and started walking out the door, motioning for her to follow me. "You're not wearing that jacket"

"Why not?" I asked, looking for a stain or something, I grabbed a Granola bar from the cupboard in the kitchen and took my black shoulder bag off the door handle.

"It doesn't go with your outfit" Alice ran up the stairs and came back down before I could even take a step towards the front door, she handed me a light grey jacket with a furry hood. She gave me a look that told me that one way or another I'd be wearing the jacket. I sighed and replaced my denim jacket with the one Alice had just given me.

"Happy?" I asked, holding my arms out and turning around slowly, when she nodded I took off to my Chevy truck.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked me as I began to open my car door.

"Going to school" I stated, I threw my bag into the passenger seat and tried to get into the driver's side but something cold held my hand back. I drew my hand away quickly and took a few moments to calm myself, even though Alice's hand felt smaller than Edwards – the skin still felt the same. Smooth; freezing cold; hard… like Marble.

"What-t?" I asked, not turning around.

"I'm driving, in my car." I groaned and turned around to face her, planning to tell her 'no' but when I looked at her, she was giving me her famous puppy-dog eyes.

"But I want to…" I cut myself off when I saw the look she was giving – more a glare than a look though. "Fine, you drive."

"Yay!" Alice skipped over to her Yellow Porsche and slid into the driver's seat. I took my bag out of my truck and locked the doors.

The drive to school was quiet but very quick; thanks to Alice's crazy driving. When she pulled up at the school parking lot, the bell was just signalling that it was time to go to class; I thanked Alice for the ride and got out. She kept pace with me.

"I'm in your class, remember?" she said, I nodded and continued walking. I stopped by my locker on the way to class to take out my English, Government, Trig and Spanish books.

"Will you sit with us today?" Alice asked as we neared the English classroom, I didn't know what to say so I subtly changed the subject.

"Where are the others? I didn't see them when we arrived"

"In class, except Emmett is at home – sick" I gave her a puzzled look, vampire's weren't supposed to get sick. Unless that was another lie that Edward had told me. "To keep up the human façade"

I nodded my head in understanding and took my seat – glad that Mr. Mason wasn't in class yet.

Alice put a note on his desk and as she walked to find a spare seat, I looked at what she was wearing today. She had a purple singlet on with grey skinny leg jeans with black shiny ballet flats, a white cardigan that had brown buttons down it and stopped just before her jeans started, it had a folded over collar that stood up straight; her bag was an ash colour and had a gold buckle. I saw that she was wearing her Cullen crest around her neck and had gold bangles on _[on profile]._

"So will you sit with us?" Alice asked again as she took the seat next to mine, I hesitated and then shook my head with an apologetic smile. "Why not?" she pouted.

"Because I promised Angela that I'd help her in the library" I lied, smoothly for me anyway.

"No you didn't" Alice said with confidence, I racked my brain for any other excuses; I didn't want to tell her the blatant truth and risk hurting her.

"Well… I… Um…" at that moment, Mr. Mason walked in and I took his entrance as a way out. "Oh, class is starting"

"Good morning class, today we're going to watch a documentary on William Shakespeare."

I zoned in and out of the DVD all lesson, my mind on other things, about how I should treat the Cullen's, after a huge debate in my head I decided that I should act normal towards them. I knew I wouldn't let them into my heart again… figuratively speaking, but if I became friends with them – maybe. Then I could get some closure and hopefully be able to deal better with the fact that they _will _leave me again.

"So I'll meet you after your Spanish class" Alice stated quickly, so fast that I almost just thought it was a buzzing noise.

"I guess so" I whispered back. I saw Alice smile from the corner of my eye and I smiled back slightly in response, I continued drifting in and out of my thoughts until Mr. Mason called the class to attention.

"I hope you were all paying attention," he started then looked around the room and pointed to Lauren Mallory "Lauren, what year was Shakespeare born?"

"Um… 1564?" she answered, looking down at her notes.

"No, well you could be right but that was a trick question. No-one knows when he was born. But he was baptised in 1564." Mr. Mason moved on to Amanda Burne, Ricky Mardoon, Matthew Hunt, Kirsty Davids and Jess Stanley before he asked me.

"Bella, how many children does Shakespeare have?"

"Um…" I stalled, that must have been when preoccupied with my thoughts. I heard Alice whisper the answer loud enough for only me to hear. "3 sir" I smiled at Alice in thanks and listened on as Mr. Mason moved on to other students.

"I'll see you after class" Alice said as we packed up our stuff, I followed her out the door and went left as she went right.

Government was the pop quiz that Alice was talking about. I spent half the lesson doing the test and then the other half reading my book and waiting for everyone else to finish. By the time the last of the class had finished their exams, it was time for the bell to signal.

"Once you have handed in your exams, you may leave." Mr. Jefferson announced, I handed him my test papers and wandered out the door. I passed the time in Trigonometry and Spanish by focusing hard on the work, it worked so well that by the time the bell rang in Spanish, I was almost prepared to see the Cullen's – not having time to psych myself out of it.

"Come on" Alice said, wasting no time, I smiled politely at Rosalie in greeting and let Alice pull me down the hallway towards the Cafeteria, stopping by my locker first to get my Biology book and put the others back.

As we walked, Rosalie and I casually chatted – something that I never thought we'd do. She commented on my clothes today and as I commented back on hers, I saw that she was wearing a white and silver loose singlet top, tan coloured skinny jeans with the same coloured heels. She had a dark grey handbag over her arm that had a gold lock on it; she also had her Cullen crest on and a flower ring on her middle finger of her right hand _[on profile]_.

"What are you eating today Bella?" Alice asked as she looked at today's variety of food, I picked up a muffin and a can of lemonade. She snatched them from me and paid for all of our things, I sighed and frowned at her, she knew I didn't like people paying things for me.

"Good Morning Bella" Jasper greeted as the 3 of us walked over to the table that he and Edward were sitting at.

"Morning" I said to both of them.

"Hello Bella" Edward said politely, I smiled back in response and took a seat next to Rosalie.

"How was your Pop Quiz?" Rose asked as she opened her bottle of water but didn't drink any, I pulled a bit of my muffin off and chewed it as I processed my thoughts.

"Good, I think I did alright" I answered back, "What classes did you have this morning?"

"Mathematics and Gym" I grimaced, my two least favourite classes; Rosalie laughed lightly and murmured "I'm a bit more co-ordinated than you Bella, so it was bareable." Rosalie looked to Edward who was frowning at her, "What? It's a known fact that _we_, are more co-ordinated than _Bella_"

"You didn't need to say it like that Rosalie" Edward said.

"It's okay, I know what she meant." I said, trying to bring the piece before Rosalie's ego got in the way.

"See Edward, lighten up, she knows I'm joking" Rosalie said and gave him a glare. He ignored her and focused on Alice, who looked to be having a vision.

A moment later, her face lit up in a smile, a really, really happy smile, Edward looked at me and then back at Alice and hinted a small smile before composing himself and looking around the room. I must have started day-dreaming because I zoned out and stared at him, when I came back into the room though – thankfully no one had noticed… I think.

"Guess what Bella?" Alice asked as she basically bounced in her seat, I was almost afraid to ask.

"What…?" I hesitated.

"We're having a sleep over tonight" She announced, and Rosalie _oooh_'ed, I groaned and shook my head but before I could say anything, Alice cut me off. "I've already seen you say yes, so save yourself the trouble of making a fuss. Rose will be over to get you at 4, and I'll get Esme to cook something for Charlie"

"Why 4?" I complained.

"We have a lot to do Bella, and you need to actually sleep at night, so we'll have to get started earlier." Alice explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What exactly do we need to do?" I asked cautiously, Alice seemed to calm down then and looked at me sweetly.

"Bella Bar-"

"No! No, absolutely not!" I said firmly, I was not going to spend my night being Alice's human barbie.

"Let her have this one Alice" Rose murmured, Alice looked sadly between both of us before she gave in with a humph and agreed.

The rest of the lunch hour consisted of Alice and Rosalie deciding on what we would be doing tonight, and even though I just sat back and ate my food; I was exhausted by the time the bell rang.

"See you after school Bella" Alice said happily as she walked off with Jasper and Rose. It was now time for Biology with Edward.

I walked silently beside him, the hallway had never felt so long. I looked up at him, smiled slightly and then looked away, hoping to see something that would preoccupy me.

"Alice will be Alice" Edward said randomly.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him in confusion, he flashed me his dazzling crooked smile briefly before speaking, "I _heard _all the things Alice is planning for tonight." I almost didn't hear him talking as images of his beautiful smile made my mind cloud and my heart race. I just nodded in response to whatever he had said and tried to listen as best as I could when he continued. "I'm sure if she gets too much for you, she'll stop. She won't risk losing… you know." I nodded slowly and picked up my pace, walking into the Biology room ahead of him, I took the first seat I saw that actually had someone occupying the spot next to it.

"Move" Edward demanded of Eric Yorkie, I felt my mouth drop open as Edward glared at him; I knew he was just trying to intimidate him, but it was still extremely unnecessary.

"It's okay Eric, you don't have to leave" I told him, shooting Edward a glare. I saw Eric start to pack up his things regardless of what I had just said.

"It's fine Bella, I can't see well from back here anyway" Eric lied, I watched him move to the front of the room without a second glance back to us, my eyes followed Edward as he sat in Eric's abandoned chair and started unpacking.

"I apologize for acting like that in front of you." Edward said softly, I looked at him – rather hard and ignored his apology.

"You need to apologize to Eric, he did nothing to you" I said back then took out my Biology book and started reading over my notes to signal to Edward that our conversation had finished.

"If it will make you happy, then I will" I nodded once but otherwise didn't respond to him, I looked at the pages in my book – not really reading them until Mr. Banner entered the room and told everyone to put their things away.

"Today class, I have to be in and out of the room all lesson as I have another class to look over as well for Coach Clapp. Any of you who are in her 6th hour Gym class, your lesson is cancelled as no one is able to cover for it and I am giving my class an exam." _So that's why Alice said 4 o'clock then_. "Now, please take out your text books and turn to page 372, read the chapter on Expression Cloning and answer the questions below. I'll be back in a moment"

I was half way through reading the chapter when Mr. Banner returned and announced himself by telling someone to keep their eyes on their own work, I looked up from my book when I realized it was Edward that he was talking to.

I looked at the beautiful man next to me and saw him looking at his own book, when I glanced back at him; he looked to me and then glanced down at the crescent moon shaped scar on my hand. I folded my arms on the table – subtly hiding the scar that James had left on me last year.

I had done 7 of the 15 questions when class ended, Edward said bye as he stood up from his seat and murmured that he looked forward to seeing me tonight. I nodded my head to him and walked out of the door behind him, towards the car park.

As I got outside, I remembered Alice had driven me to school and that she hadn't finished yet. I sighed and started muttering under my breath until I decided I should call Charlie to see if he could get me.

I got out my cell phone and started punching in the numbers when the roar of an engine stopped me.

I looked down the road – towards the school entrance and saw a familiar red Jeep driving towards me, it pulled up right in front of where I was standing and in the driver's side I saw Emmett's goofy smile.

"Someone said you needed a lift" _Alice _I thought, I smiled gratefully and hopped into his monster of a car.

"Thanks Emmett" I murmured, he just smiled and asked about my day.

A few minutes later, due to speeding; we were parked outside Charlie's house. I thanked him and got out of the Jeep, slipping on my way down; I would have fallen over but Emmett had managed to get out of his side and run to catch me. I laughed nervously and thanked him again.

"I've missed your cluminess Bella" Emmett told me, I smiled slightly and walked off towards my front door. I heard his deep laugh before the sound of his car tuned everything out.

Inside the house, I threw my bag on the couch and went to get myself a drink. I looked at the microwave clock and saw it was 2:07pm. _Okay_ I thought, _almost 2 hours until Rosalie will be here._ I decided that I should do my homework before she got here so that I didn't have to do it at their house, I sat down on the floor in the television room and did my work on the coffee table. By the time I had finished it was 2:43pm.

I packed my bag and watched tv until I heard a knock on the door, when I opened it, I saw Rosalie smiling at me but her smile quickly turned to a frown as she handed me a container full of what looked like lasagne and a note.

_Dad,_

_I'm staying the night at Alice's for a catch up, Esme cooked some lasagne – it's in a clear container in the fridge._

_I'll see you tomorrow_

_Love Bella_

I looked confused at Rose and put the food in the fridge, "Alice saw that you would forget to leave your dad a note, so she wrote one for you" Remembering the last time a Cullen had forged a note from me, I took a deep breath and slammed the door behind me as I followed Rosalie out to her Red BMW.

As she raced across town towards her house, the light hit her skin and sent diamonds dancing around the car and landed on my hand before vanishing behind the clouds, I revelled in the thoughts of the Meadow and how many times I would watch diamonds dance across Edward.

I cleared my throat and pushed the thought away, telling myself that our Meadow was in another life time.


	15. The Harold Song

_Chapter 14 – The Harold Song._

I see your face in, strangers on the street.  
I still say your name when I'm talking in sleep.  
And in the long light, I play it all fine.  
But I can't handle it when I turn off my night light.

They say that true love hurts,  
Well this could almost kill me.

Young love murder,  
That is what this must be.  
I would give it all,  
To not be sleeping alone.  
The life is fading from me,  
While you watch my heart bleed.

Young love murder, that is what this this must be.  
And I would give is all,  
To not be sleeping alone.

It was the past life.  
A beautiful time.  
Drunk off of nothing but each other till the sunlight.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

"What do you want to do tonight, Bella?" Alice asked as we sat on the leather couch in the Cullen's living room.

I shrugged and murmured that I didn't mind what we did, which I probably shouldn't have said because when I did, Alice's face lit up and she dragged me upstairs.

"Makeover time!" She squealed, I groaned and grumpily followed her to her and Jasper's room. I hadn't been inside this bedroom for so long, it felt weird being back – in fact it felt weird with _them_ being back, I loved it but it was still strange.

"Do we have to Alice? It'd be a waste of make up anyway..." I murmured, trying to find a way out of having to sit for hours while she picked and prodded at me.

"Of course we do, I've been deprived of Bella Barbie for far too long, now sit still while I try to find the right eye shadow for you."

Surprisingly, it only took Alice one hour and 30 minutes to do my make up and hair, when she had finished she didn't let me look in the mirror, telling me that I have to get dressed first.

Finally I was led to one side of Alice's closet that had mirrors against the wall, I gasped at my reflection – I actually looked beautiful. My hair was styled to be wavy, my eyes had silver eye shadow on it and my lips were covered with gloss.

The dress that she had put me in was a dark blue colour, it was strapless and came to the middle of my thigh [on profile].

"Come on" Alice said suddenly, pulling me away from my reflection.

"Where are we going?" I asked, letting her tow me away.

"We're going to show off your new look"

"No! Alice, no, I don't want anyone to see me like this" I argued, trying to pull my arm free, but well... Alice is a vampire, and vampire's are strong.

"Why not? You look fabulous" She said confidently, I knew this was true, Alice was very good at making _anyone _look beautiful, but nevertheless I still didn't want to have all of The Cullen's judging my look.

"Oh Bella, you look so beautiful" Esme gushed as Alice spun me around, I blushed deeply as she fixed pieces of my outfit and asked everyone of their opinion.

Alice finally let me go upstairs to change after 20 minutes of me moping around about feeling over-dressed and uncomfortable. As I was walking to her room – on the second floor, I passed by Edward.

"Oh wow, Bella you look amazing" he murmured, sounding like he was in awe. I blushed crimson and thanked him, continuing on to Alice's room.

I was just putting on my top when there was a knock on the door, thinking it was just Alice – I told her that she could come inside.

I turned around, fixing my clothes and saw Edward standing in front of me, I let out a faint _oh _and stayed quiet.

"I'm sorry Bella, I thought you'd finished getting dressed" he murmured, looking me up and down.

"It's alright, I finished just in time" I muttered, blushing lightly just by him speaking directly to me.

"I was hoping we could talk" Edward said quietly, I looked at the floor and shifted my feet awkwardly.

"Talk?... About what?" I asked cautiously, not sure if I knew what he was going to say or not.

"Us" I could feel my heart rate rise when he said this, _am I ready for this? Will I ever be?_... probably not, I took a deep breath and waited for him to continue. "That is... if you want to" he added, probably hearing my heart beat.

I sat down on Alice and Jasper's bed and nodded patiently, "I want to" I said shakily.

Edward gave me his glorious crooked smile that never fails to give me butterflies and sat down next to me, "I'm so sorry Bella, I would never have known in a million years that our leaving would have caused you so much pain" I just nodded my head along with what he was saying, keeping my eyes glued to my hands that were folded in my lap. "If I had known any of this, I would never have left".

I looked up at him when he said this and found my voice even if it was weak, "I don't want that, if you don't still... you shouldn't feel obliged to stay."

"I wouldn't feel _obliged_, Bella I never wanted to love you" Edward said, kind of pleading but I didn't care about how he sounded, I was still processing what he had just said. _He never wanted to fall in love with me? _

I looked up at him, my eyes filling with tears, "What?" I whispered.

"I said I never wanted to leave you," Edward clarified, I stared at him, my eyes clearing until I could see him properly, "I didn't leave because I fell out of love with you, I need you to know that"

"Okay" I mumbled, not really knowing what else to say. I knew Edward wasn't telling the truth, he had told me himself that he didn't want me anymore, why would he have lied about that?

"You don't believe me do you?" he muttered.

"I already know the truth, it's okay if you don't..." I trailed off, clearing my throat "people fall out of love all the time"

"Bella... I still love you just as much as I did when we were together, in fact being away from you for so long has made me fall even deeper in love with you"

I continued looking at my hands until Edwards fingers brushed over mine, I stared at our hands as he pulled mine closer to him and traced the contours of my palm, the butterflies in my stomach growing with each second that passed.

"Do you have any feelings for me... even if it's the slightest amount?" Edward asked. I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Will you ever be able to forgive me?"

I shrugged my shoulders, showing him that I didn't know, but I did – I'd already forgiven him, many months ago.

"I don't know how to live without you Bella, and if by some miracle you can take me back, I'll be here for as long as it takes." I stared at him directly in the eyes, he looked back at me gently showing the truth behind what he was saying.

"You still care for me...?" I trailed off, turning it into a question

"Of course, you're my whole existence, love." Edward murmured.

I stayed quiet, thinking over what he had just admitted to me.

"You still love me" I murmured, "he still loves me" I whispered to myself.

"I still love you" He confirmed.

"Then why did you leave me?"  
"I only left because I thought it would be best for you, I didn't want to risk anything worse happening..." He trailed off.

"Because of what happened at my birthday?" I tried to finish for him.

"Yes, if anything had happened to you... I don't know what I would have done, I can't even bear the thought of it." Edward shook his head, staring at the floor with that crease between his eyebrows that he always got whenever he was in deep thought or frustrated.

With the last ounce of courage I had developed since they had arrived I turned my hand over and linked out fingers together, he put his other hand over mine and used his thumb to rub circles into it.

"What happened with Jasper was nothing, I've been through a lot worse" I murmured trying to assure him, I lightly touched the scar that James had left on me.

Edward touched the same scar, tracing the lines on it, "Also my fault" he mumbled.

"No it wasn't, I made the decision that led to him biting me, not you" I argued.

"I've already forgiven you, you know" I mumbled after a moment's silence, "in the first couple of months after you left..." I trailed off.

"Really?" Edward asked, I nodded my head in response.

"I learnt to accept it although I couldn't move on, I was never angry at you" I explained.

"I'm so, so sorry" Edward apologised again, pressing the back of my hand against his lips, the romantic gesture didn't make my chest hurt this time, knowing now that he still loves me and never actually stopped, the little notion felt normal, loving.

"It's okay" I told him, smiling for what felt like the first time in years. Edward looked at me for a couple of minutes before leaning in slightly – testing me, at the last minute I pulled back. _I'm not ready for _that_ yet._

"Too soon?" He asked, pulling back till he was sitting normally again.

"Too soon," I murmured, "Sorry"

"Don't apologise, I deserve much worse – I broke your heart" I gave a sad half smile, not saying anything.

"I love you Bella" Edward whispered to me, kissing my hand again.

I smiled at him – a real genuine smile and moved so I was facing him more, "I love you too" I saw him exhale as if he'd been holding his breath and started rubbing circles into my hand again.

I sat for a couple of minutes in silence, just watching him play with my hands before I decided to face my last bit of doubt. "Edward..."

"Yes, love?" I smiled at his name for me, glad he still called me that.

"Kiss me" I murmured, feeling butterflies erupt at full speed as I watched him lean in with that crooked smile he wore.

Just as our lips were about to touch, the door burst open. I heard a low growl come from Edward as he leaned his forehead against mine, I closed my eyes and only opened them when I heard the voice.

"Yes, yes everyone's ecstatic that you two are together again but if I recall correctly, this is _my_ sleep over." Alice said, dancing over to us and pulling me up by my hand, I let out a frustrated sigh and let her drag me away from Edward, turning back once to look at him before I rounded the corner.

I smiled and let Alice take the reigns on the sleep over, happy that my life seemed to have some meaning again.

_[AN: This is the last of this chapter, but the next one will be more of the sleep over with Alice because obviously, there was barely anything in this one. REVIEW :) xox]_


	16. Picture Perfect

Chapter 15 – Picture Perfect

We've been through lessons and we've been through cries.

But lately have you seen.

The way my tongue gets tied.

Can't hardly speak when I look into your eyes.

It's because of the way I'm feeling.

It's something I never dreamed.

And our love has a different meaning.

It took so long to reveal but now I know that.

All of this time, guess I must have been blind.

Not to see you and me we're picture perfect.

I'll be yours, be mine.

We're picture perfect.

Forever picture perfect.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

Edward, _My_ Edward. I smiled at the thought, _mine. He's mine again. _I followed Alice happily through the house to where she had set the lounge room up with pillows, blankets and junk food. A lot of junk food.

She glided over to the couch and sat down cross legged, patting the spot next to her for me.

"What are we going to do?" I asked absent-mindedly, my thoughts still on Edward. _I never wanted to leave you... Bella, I still love you just as much as I did when we were together, in fact being away from you for so long has made me fall even deeper in love with you... You're my whole existence, love. _My stomach tightened, though not uncomfortably, I could feel the butterflies erupt with every thought I had.

"Do you want to watch a movie? Before you came over I went to Port Angeles and bought some new DVD's, do you want to pick one out?" I nodded and got up from the seat to look at the massive amount of DVD's that they had collected over the recent years. "Not that rack, the one on the floor are holding the new movies."

I bent on my knees and searched through the 50 or so discs, _Alice calls this _some_?_, finally I decided on _The Stepfather, _a movie about a murderer that preys on newly divorced mothers, he acts as the trophy husband until he grows bored of that family, and kills them. This particular movie was about one of the family's he targeted, the son comes home from military school and finds his mother engaged to a stranger, basically.

The son, Michael grows suspicious of the step father, eventually his suspicions are confirmed when he tries to kill the family.

Even though my mind was preoccupied with everything to do with Edward, my brain was working overtime now that it didn't hurt to think about him, I was still aware of what was happening in the movie but I couldn't help the little smile that crossed my lips during the scene when the step father was murdering the ex-husband, I wasn't smiling because of the movie and I think Alice noticed that.

"Just go" she sighed, I saw her get up from the couch and pick up a few bowls of chips and dips before she walked through to the kitchen. "I can see that you want to be with him, I can't deny you that" she murmured when she had returned.

"What?" I asked, "But this is our sleepover, I don't want it to end yet"

"You can have the night with Edward, I know you want to be with him more than you want to hang out with me." said Alice softly, I got up to help her put away the bowls and plates although with her strength she was able to carry a lot more than I was.

"I can spend time with Edward later," I murmured, as much as it sounded wrong to say such a thing, especially at a time like this. "this is our time. You can even make me your guinea pig again" I leaned against the counter as I watched her put the junk food in the fridge and cupboard.

I saw Alice's eyes light up and instantly I regretted offering myself as a barbie doll, not much though I was glad she didn't feel left out now. She moved in a blur, packing away everything in a few seconds and then suddenly Alice was in my personal space, almost bouncing.

"Come on, come on!" she said impatiently, I followed quickly and ended up back in her bathroom.

Five minutes after Alice had started changing my appearance there was a knock on the door.

"Did you want any help?" I heard Rosalie's voice say politely, smiling at us, I was a little shocked to see that she was willing to spend quality time with me.

"Sure, you can pick something out to wear, I have clothes for her in the back of my closet" I gaped at Alice, _she had bought me dress up clothes? When?_ She just shrugged at me and continued finding the right lip colour. "Good choice, don't let Bella see it until she's finished though."

There was a few minutes of silence before I saw Alice's eyes glaze over again, "Maybe get her the black wedges I have, it _is _Bella we're dressing" she joked, smiling down at me, I heard a light chuckle come from the other room.

It didn't take as long as I had thought for Rosalie and Alice to finish their experiment on me, after Rosalie had picked out my outfit she had come in and done my hair while Alice finished my make up and put accessories around my neck and wrist.

"Okay, go get dressed" They demanded, I grumpily took the dress and shoes laid on the bed and went back into the bathroom.

"There's no way I'm wearing this!" I called to them, the dress was purple and hugged all my curves, it was v-cut and had thick straps. It was also far too short.

"Oh, come on. You look beautiful, Bella" I spun around to glare at Alice whom had just walked through the closed door with Rosalie on her heels.

"It's too short! You can see everything!" I cried a little too dramatically, trying to pull the edges of my dress down so it would appear longer.

"Just put on the wedges and see how it looks, you could end up liking it." Rosalie suggested. I did as I was told, thankful that the shoes didn't have high heels on them, and looked in the mirror. _How is it possible that the dress got shorter?_

"It looks even shorter now!" I complained.

"No it doesn't, high heels naturally just make your legs look longer" Rosalie explained calmly, I frowned and turned around to them.

"Can I wear flats?" I saw Alice give a frustrated groan and dash out of the room.

"Do you really not like it?" Rosalie asked when we were alone, I stared at her and shook my head quickly.

"Of course I do, it's a beautiful dress I'm just used to wearing clothes that cover my legs. I feel too exposed." I saw her face fall, looking kind of ashamed. Alice returned then and tossed a pair of black ballet flats at me, I didn't catch them of course. "It's in front of you girls though, so I don't mind too much." Rosalie smiled slightly.

"How do I look?" I asked, spinning around hoping to lift their moods.

"Gorgeous, duh" said Alice automatically, Rosalie agreed and I blushed at their answers, I could never be gorgeous. Not while vampire's existed.

"Oh, dear, you look so beautiful!" Esme whispered, I blushed again as I felt everyone's eyes on me. Alice and Rosalie had insisted that their hard work should not go unseen and so I was now standing in front of all the Cullen's – Edward included, with my face bright red.

Emmett made a wolf whistle noise and wagged his eyebrows looking pointedly between Edward and myself, "Woo Bella, someone's getting lucky tonight" Rosalie was at his side in a second and smacked him across the head, "Ow! What? I thought they'd made up!" she just rolled her eyes and ignored him.

Impossibly, I blushed a deeper shade of red. I looked to Edward expecting him to be glaring daggers at Emmett or something, but he was staring at me – his eyes moving from my face down to my legs, my heart started racing the same time my mind did, _what if he hates it? What if he thinks I look too promiscuous? Oh my god, why did I let Alice do this to me?_ I would have excused myself that moment but the way he was looking at me now didn't make me feel foolish or self conscious, it was making me feel confident and wanted. _He's just shocked_, I told myself, _you rarely dress up like this. _I gave him a small smile, which he returned instantly with one of his amazing crooked grins, I felt my heart race even faster and started feeling dizzy on my feet. Maybe these make over's aren't the worst thing in the world.

"Definitely getting lucky" Emmett mumbled under his breath, Edward's growl and Rosalie's smack were what brought me out of my dazzled state.

"Can I go get changed now?" I asked Alice, she nodded her head and I darted up the stairs – as quickly as was possible for me.

As I made my way to Alice and Jasper's bedroom, on the second floor, I felt someone's arms wrap around my waist – effectively stopping my path. I squeaked and struggled against the sudden contact, immediately the arms dropped. I turned around and saw Edward standing behind me, looking a little rejected but trying to hide it.

"Oh" I whispered, realising that I had just rejected Edward and hurt his feelings in the process.

"I shouldn't have sneaked up you" he murmured, smiling gently.

"No it's okay, I just wasn't expecting it" I told him, hoping to make him feel better, the last thing I wanted was for him to think I didn't want him.

"I must say, Bella, you look absolutely amazing in that dress" I blushed a deep crimson, Edward lifted his hand to stroke my cheek; I smiled and leaned into his touch. "It's very..." he struggled for the right word, but I wasn't paying much attention to what he was saying, not with his hand on my face. "sexy" he finally said, I froze and felt my face flush for the hundredth time. I hid my face in his chest, hugging him tightly with a silly grin on my face.

"You should get changed before you get a chill" Edward murmured, I agreed with him but didn't move away and he made no move to release his hold on me either. He pulled me back, I tried feebly to hold onto him as he chuckled and moved my hands from around his waist. "Go on" He urged me, I sighed and stepped around him but before I could get anywhere he stopped me again, held me by my hips and leaned in to kiss my forehead. My eyes closed of their own accord and only opened when I felt Edward pull back, "Go get into some warm clothes," He murmured hesitantly taking a step back to look at my dress again.

I shook my head and stepped closer again, wrapping my arms around him, "I don't want to".

"I don't want you to either, but Alice is getting impatient" I sighed and kissed him on his chest before letting go of him all together.

I had gotten about 5 steps before Edward calling my name stopped me, "Bella?" I turned around and waited for him to continue, "I love you"

A smile broke out across my face, "I love you too" I murmured and turned back to Alice's room to get changed into my pyjamas.

I pulled on a pair of cotton black pyjama pants and a grey tank top and quickly made my way downstairs to find Alice again.

"You sure took your time" Alice said as I walked into the kitchen where her, Esme and Rosalie were sitting around the counter island, they all had sly smiles on their faces. I blushed but took the seat next to Alice.

"Sorry, I got distracted" I mumbled and heard them all stifle a laugh, of course they'd heard everything.

"I'm so glad we're back with you, Bella" Esme said gently, reaching over to touch my hand. "Our family is finally complete again"

"I'm happy you're back as well, you can't imagine how much I missed you all" I told them, sadness coating my words but was quickly overshadowed by happiness, _they were back and the next time they were leaving – I was leaving with them._

The rest of the night passed by quickly, my thoughts mostly revolved around Edward but Alice didn't seem to mind too much, it was almost midnight by the time I went to sleep. Edward had bought a bed and set it up in his room, just so I would have somewhere to rest.

"I don't think I would have slept in your room if we weren't back together" I told Edward, the hidden question in there being why he had set it up in his room.

"I know, I would have just reset it in the lounge room or something." He replied, I nodded my head and settled into the bed, it was extremely comfortable.

"Are... Are we back together?" I asked quietly, hiding my face in the pillow so I didn't have to look at him.

"I would love nothing more than to be able to call you mine again but it's your decision, you already know how I feel"

"You know how I feel too, I love you, Edward. I want to be with you, forever." I told him, tracing the shape of his lips with my index finger, I looked up at his eyes to see if it was okay that I kiss him but pulled back when I saw him frowning at me.

I cleared the lump in my throat and whispered, "What's wrong?"

"You still want to be a Vampire?" he asked stiffly.

"Of course" I said, taken back.

"You still want to be a monster, even after everything I put you through?" he growled through clenched teeth.

"You're not a monster" I argued, moving my fingers against his jaw line trying to make it relax.

"After how I treated you, I don't deserve life." I gasped, dropping my hand from his face and moving back to get a better look at him.

"Never, ever say anything like that again" I whispered breathless, "You love me, don't you?"

"With all my heart"

"Then the rest is history" I made him promise before I could relax enough to lay back down.

"You should get some sleep, love. We have school tomorrow" I mumbled something intelligible and rested against his chest, "but first" he murmured and lifted my chin up, touching his lips to mine in a soft kiss that grew more urgent when I started responding, after a few minutes of kissing Edward, I pulled away gasping for breath.

"I've been waiting for you to do that for so long" I murmured, my lips still tingled.

Edward kissed me again, calmer this time before he told me to sleep.

"You'll still be here in the morning, right?" I asked, hoping he'd never leave my side again.

"I'll stay here until you order me away"

"I wouldn't count on that, I'll always want you" I whispered, falling into a tired sober.

"I was hoping you'd say that" Edward whispered back, I rested my hand against his neck, stroking my thumb along it in a calming way – helping me rest.

I woke to the feel of something moving over my face, as I came more alert I realised that it was someone kissing my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, everywhere they could get.

I smiled and stretched, running my hands through his hair. "Alice is about to come wake you up, but I wanted to do the honours." he explained, lining my jaw and pulled my chin slightly before giving me a good morning kiss. Once again, I lost myself and threw myself into it.

I sighed but smiled nevertheless when Edward had decided things had gone too far, "I much prefer the way you do it" I murmured and hugged myself to him.

He flipped us over, cradling me against his chest and stroking my hair, I laid on his chest, propping myself up with one arm. I traced the dark circles under his eyes with a disapproving expression on my face. I was about to ask when the last time he had hunted was but before I could, Alice bounded through the door.

"My eyes!" She screamed dramatically, I quickly moved to get away from Edward blushing profusely.

"We weren't doing anything, Alice" Edward muttered, lounging his arm over me.

"I know," she laughed, "come on, Bella. I'm going to get you ready for school" my mouth popped open, _no. _my mind said weakly, _3 make over's in 2 days? _But then I remembered Edward reaction to the make over's last night and suddenly I was a lot easier to convince.

"Don't try to refuse, you'll lose" she murmured, raising one eyebrow at me.

I looked to Edward for help but he just gave me an apologetic smile and muttered, "Alice" as an explanation.

"Come on, I've got your clothes picked out already" Alice chimed, pulling me up by the hand.

I turned back to Edward, "How bad is it?" I asked, referring to the clothes Alice was probably thinking about.

"They're not much different to what you usually wear" he assured me but all I heard was_ different._ I did my best attempt to growl, although I didn't do it so well while Alice dragged me from the room, I heard Edward laughing behind me.

Alice had me dress in a black and blue flannelette patterned singlet with a black leather waist belt to define my curves, I had on dark blue – almost black denim jeans with a pair of black ballet flats which had little silver balls and material bunched at the top of them [on profile]. Thankfully, I was allowed to wear my grey thick hooded cardigan giving Alice the excuse that I'd be too cold.

"Excellent, you're all ready." Alice announced, I looked in the mirror and was instantly elated that she had kept my make up simple and natural looking, "Now, I have to get dressed. We're leaving in a few minute's okay? so... don't get distracted." I almost ran out of the room after having adjusted my clothes, so Alice couldn't think of anything else to experiment on me with.

I turned the corner of her room and ran into something hard and freezing, it was Edward. I stumbled back a few steps until he caught me in his arms. I refocused myself but was automatically distracted again by his beauty, he was wearing a dark grey sweater with black jeans, matching black sneakers and of course, his Cullen crest [on profile]. He looked absolutely stunning.

"You look beautiful as always, my love" Edward murmured, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. I leaned into the touch and closed my eyes.

"I'd say the same to you, but it would be a major understatement"

I heard Edward chuckle lightly, entwining our fingers. "The camouflage"

"It's not," I argued and kissed the back of his hand. Edward's eyes grew warm, like liquid topaz and smiled crookedly at me – his cool breath fanning across my face.

My breathing sped up and I struggled to focus on anything except his eyes, "See... O-only you can do that"

"It's the camouflage" Edward confirmed but I shook my head.

"No, it's the emotion in your eyes that dazzle me." maybe it had a little to do with his inhuman beauty, but I'm not going to let him know that.

"So stubborn" he smiled.

I shrugged, "It''s what you love about me" I murmured nonchalantly.

"One of the many things" Edward confirmed. Alice called to us from downstairs then, confused since I hadn't even seen her leave her room but nevertheless I followed Edward to the front door.

Alice had on a purple and black flannelette patterned fitting top with a pair of dark grey skinny legged jeans and purple ballet flats that had a jewel on the side. She also wore a black winter jacket which had brown fur on the collar, she had her Cullen crest fastened around her neck [on profile]. Next to her was Jasper, he was wearing a grey hooded jumper under a black winter jacket, his jeans were black, and his black and white sneakers were Velcro not lace up. Along with his siblings, he wore his Cullen crest proudly on his wrist [on profile]. Emmett was standing next to Jasper, with his arm around Rosalie, they were both smiling as Edward and I came into view. Emmett was wearing a plain white T-shirt with a lighter tone of black zip up sweater, he was wearing dark grey jeans and a pair of black with white lace Converse shoes, his Cullen crest cuffed to his wrist [on profile].

Rosalie, whom was tucked neatly in Emmett's arm, was wearing a grey loose fitting singlet with blue skinny legged jeans, over her singlet was another loose fitting crop top, it was white and had black and gold shapes on it. Her cardigan was black and her high heels were strappy and white, I could see her new red nail polish. Hanging over her top was her Cullen crest, she played with it absent-mindedly as she waited for everyone to leave [on profile].

"Let's go" Emmett boomed, everyone left at the same time, the rest of the Cullen's drove in Emmett's Jeep while Edward and I took his Volvo.

The trip to Forks High took a shorter amount of time than when I drove myself from Charlie's house, even though I lived closer than The Cullen's did.

As Edward pulled into the spare parking spot next to where Emmett had just parked I felt the eyes of everyone in the lot on the two cars. I got out shakily when Edward opened the passenger door for me, everyone's eyes followed us as we all made our way into the building.

"It's like first day all over again" I murmured to Edward, he pulled his arm tighter over my shoulders and leaned down a bit to whisper close to my ear.

"Don't worry, it'll fade again" his voice was restricted, I looked up to see him glaring at nothing.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, love" I pursed my lips but otherwise dropped it, his smile didn't convince me that whatever he had just _heard_ was nothing. I looked away from his face and caught sight of the Jocks that I used to spend some of my lunch times with, their expressions were a mixture of shock and baffled, a few of their gazes were following Alice and Rosalie as they walked beside their husbands; I mentally rolled my eyes at them knowing their chances were extremely thin no matter what fantasies were floating around their minds now. But also a couple of them were looking at Edward and I, his arm around me. I locked eyes with Dean, his expression caught me off guard, he looked stunned – not angry or judging, just stunned. I looked down ashamed of myself, _how could I do something like that to someone like Dean, he had always been so nice to me, actually caring. And then I dodged him at the first chance I had, horribly leading him on. _I felt the back of Edward's finger lightly stroke my cheek, I looked up at him trying to hide the guilt but I knew instantly that he would have been able to tell, even if Jasper wasn't with us.

Edward's eyes stared into mine, the honey colour started melting – smouldering. I knew what he was doing, trying to dazzle me so I would tell him, I quickly looked away before he could persuade me to tell him what had gotten to me, although from Dean's thoughts I'm sure Edward would have a pretty good idea especially since when I had seen Edward return, I had been on a date with Dean.

_I didn't know I stole you from Dean Chaser._

Edward wrote, I looked up at him shocked, _what the heck?_

_**You can't honestly think that, you didn't steal me from anyone.**_

I folded the piece of paper back up and tossed it on Edward's side of the table, it was only a few seconds before the paper was returned to me.

_That's not what Dean's thoughts were saying, he has some serious feelings for you, love. I can't imagine taking someone's Bella from them._

I sighed and wrote a reply slowly.

_**Edward, I've always been yours. My heart has never belonged anyone except you. I'll always be your Bella, no one else's.**_

His response was instant.

_These past few months have been hard on both of us, love, but Vampire's mate for life whereas human's do not, I would understand if you chose someone else – someone who hasn't broken you._

I looked at the page, tears started to form in the corner of my eyes, I quickly blinked them away and scribbled my reply.

_**Was last night not enough for you to realise how much I care about you? What gave you the idea that I could have fallen out of love with you?, if that were even possible.**_

_I have never doubted your love for me._

That was all he wrote, I scrunched up the paper and threw it at him. The ball hit his forearm and bounced to the edge of the table, he snatched it back before anyone could notice what it was and looked at me. I glared at my hands folded on the table, angry tears threatening my control, I immediately jerked my hands under the table when he reached out to cover them with one of his. I automatically softened when I looked at his face and saw the emotion there, Sadness. Jealousy. Hurt. Understanding. Longing. Love.

I sighed and ripped a page from my notebook.

_**You're the only one I see, Edward, no one else has even come close. You're the reason why I'm still me and why I stayed in Forks for as long as I have. That date with Dean – if you can even call it that, was about companionship more than anything else, I just needed someone to talk to so I didn't spend every day wondering why you and your family left. I will love you forever regardless of what you believe of humans.**_

I slid the page to Edward, watching him read it over, he had a small smile on his face and I saw his hand lightly trace over my words before he wrote back.

_You've never done things by the book, I apologise I promise to not get jealous over other men being friends with you – especially if it was my fault as to why you felt like you should surround yourself with them. I can't blame them either, you're absolutely breath-taking_, I felt myself blush.

I smiled brightly at him, and whispered, "I love you" so quietly that I barely heard myself but I knew he could. I felt something cold wrap around my hand, rubbing it gently. I put my other hand over Edward's and felt the chill run up my arm, it raised goosebumps but was calming and comforting to me.

The rest of the day went by perfectly, I spent lunch with The Cullen's and thankfully there were no interruptions by my previous... friends, I didn't know what'd I'd do if something was to happen; I knew it would put a huge strain on Edward's and My mending relationship. But if someone was thinking about the _old_ me, Edward didn't seem fazed by it and I knew that he would put me before anything that he was in doubt about. I briefly thought about Dean and how he had looked when I had entered school today, in the arms of Edward. Guilt shocked my system as I left the Cafeteria with my Edward on our way to Biology.


	17. Forever and Ever

Chapter 16 – Forever and Ever.

Home is where you are,  
I recall a smile, a kiss.  
When the sun did rise,  
By your side, I was by your side.  
I gotta tell you how it feels now.

You're my air, when I feel I can't breathe.  
Catching me, when I'm tripping over my feet.  
We'll get through this together.  
You're my smile, when I just want to cry.  
Make it all better as you kiss my sad eyes.  
I'm giving you my forever and ever.

Forever and ever.  
Forever and ever.  
(Forever and ever.)

The hug, the kiss, the love.  
All the magic that we're feeling inside,  
Deep inside, deep inside.  
It's hard to find the words,  
The courage is somewhere inside,  
Deep inside, deep inside.  
Gotta tell you how it feels now,  
I'm ready to fall.

Forever and ever.  
Forever and ever.  
(Forever and ever.)

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

The next month passed by amazingly, it was surely one of the best months of my life.

"Love, you can tell me anything, you know that." Edward whispered, I could feel my heart hammering away as the thoughts and questions formed again in my head. Edward and I were currently curled up in my bed, I had been trying to ask him something for the past 10 minutes. I'd wanted to ask him about my becoming immortal but we'd been so good lately, I didn't want to ruin that with my urgency to join the Cullen's in eternity. I sighed again.

"Well..." I started, pulling nervously on his collar, "Please listen to everything I have to say before you react." when he nodded, I continued.

"Everyday I'm getting older, and every minute there's a greater chance that I could get sick and be taken away from you..." Edward cut me off though, having heard enough.

"Not this again, Bella. I can't damn your soul, I won't do it."

"You said you'd listen" I reminded him, when he didn't say any more, I spoke again, softly. "This isn't just about you, you know that don't you?"

I looked up at him but he was staring at the ceiling, more like glaring. I lightly touched his cheek and smiled when he glanced to me.

"My greatest wish is to be with you, forever. But that's not the only reason I want to be changed, I've never fit in this world, Edward. It's not where I'm supposed to be, I don't believe that I was born to be human. My... destiny if you want it to be called, is to be a vampire with you and the rest of our family." I snuggled closer to him, feeling his arms tighten around me. "I don't want any of that human stuff, I don't want to grow old and have children. All I want is you and the rest of the Cullen's, please don't refuse me that." I finished, awaiting his answer.

"You really want this?" He asked, sceptically. "Cold, Dead... Never moving forward"

"I don't see it that way, I'll have everything I'd ever dreamed of" I murmured.

"Well... I guess if you want it so badly, then a compromise won't be out of the question."

"What kind of compromise?" I asked hesitantly, I sat up a little bit and watched Edward as I saw him mulling something over in his head, my suspicion growing with every second that passed.

"If you want to be with me forever, and if you want it to be _me_ that changes you, then there's something you're going to have to do for me first – you don't have to answer now, but eventually you will need to." Edward waited for me to comprehend what he'd just said, I nodded, waiting for him to continue. "I want you to marry me."

I froze, then everything kind of stopped, Edward had just asked me to marry him, my brain slowly processed this – too sluggish for my liking. I was oddly elated about the idea of marrying Edward, but my elation was quickly overshadowed by my idea of marriage and what it'd done for my parents. Marriage to me was a piece of paper that gave people a title, it was a job that needed hard work to keep going, and usually ended in divorce.

"So..." I finally whispered, "If I _marry_ you... you'll make me a vampire?" I muttered _marry _like it was some dirty word that shouldn't be spoken aloud.

"Yes" I watched Edward's face, looking for the slightest hint of a joke or some reason behind this ridiculous request, but I found none. I thought over his compromise, searching for any way around it, finally I realised that he didn't specify _when_ I'd have to marry him. I smiled, a great brilliant smile.

"Okay" I told him, "I'll marry you, Edward" his face lit up for a full minute until he was studying my face, finally he sighed and spoke.

"You'll have to marry me _before_ I change you, Bella."

"What?" I said almost too loudly, I paused for a few seconds hoping that I didn't wake Charlie up. "That's out of the question, Edward. We're too young!"

"I'm 110 years old, Bella. And you're legally an adult." I sighed and rested my head against his chest again.

"That's not fair, Edward. You know how I feel about Marriage."

"Would you still think so lowly of it if it meant being with me, forever?" he asked softly, stroking my hair. I sighed for what felt like the tenth time and shook my head, nothing could be anything less than perfect if Edward was involved. "Like I said, you don't have to answer straight away... but... would it help you decide if you saw the ring?" I gasped and shot up.

"Yo-You have the ring already?" I stared at him incredulously, how long had he been planning this? I thought it was just a way to try and make me stay human.

Edward nodded his head, "It was my mother's". All of my shock and disapproving feelings vanished, _it was one of the few things that Edward had from his human life and he wanted me to have it? _I smiled at him and scooted up to kiss him on the cheek, laying my head in the crook of his neck.

"And you want me to have it?" I voiced my thoughts.

"Of course, you're the only one for me, Bella." I'd known this, but I never tired of hearing it I smiled again, wrapping my arms around him. _Maybe being Edward's wife wouldn't be so bad. _I was quickly warming to the idea, but I couldn't let him know that just yet.

"Marriage" I muttered, I could feel Edward drawing circles on my waist, calming me enough to send me closer to sleep.

"I love you, Bella" he whispered close to my ear.

"Love you" I whispered back through a yawn, almost completely out.

-.- -.-

"Love?" I heard someone murmur from my left, I yawned and stretched, opening my eyes. I saw Edward crouching in front of me, not laying in my bed like I'd been expecting him to be doing.

"You moved" I frowned, rubbing my eyes. I sat up, my hair hanging in a mess around me, I was embarrassed by my appearance for a second – trying to straighten my hair out until Edward stopped me by easily pulling me out of my bed and into his lap.

"Morning, Beautiful." I blushed and wrapped my arms around his neck, "It was necessary to move, Charlie came to check on you this morning." I mumbled an understanding and moved away from him to get ready for school.

20 minutes later, I walked out of the bathroom dressed in my clothes for the day, I had a Royal blue short sleeve top on with black jeans and a pair of black velvet ballet flats [on profile]. I stopped the moment I saw Edward's reaction, he was staring at me and his mouth had actually popped open.

"What?" I asked self consciously, trying to fix my clothes thinking that I'd put them on wrong. I was expecting Edward to burst out laughing at any second, but he didn't – always the gentlemen.

"Nothing," he cleared his throat but was in front of me in a second. I felt a little awkward that I didn't know what he was thinking, I pouted and tried to distract myself by looking around the room for my black cardigan.

I quickly responded to Edward's kiss, forgetting all about my cardigan that now lay at my feet, I wrapped my arms around his neck – holding him to me, too soon though he pulled away. I groaned in frustration and tried to pull his face back to mine, it didn't work.

I heard his amazing chuckle, "We need to get to school"

"No," I whispered, "No, we really don't" I stretched up on my toes and lifted my head in the direction of his, I smiled in triumph when he kissed me again – my triumph turned to annoyance when I saw that he was still in control.

"Come on," Edward murmured, tugging my hand towards the door I quickly picked up my cardigan and let him drag me downstairs.

I grabbed a Granola Bar from the cupboard in the kitchen after reassuring Edward that I probably wouldn't be hungry until lunch time, I slung the black handbag with silver buckles that Renee had given me last Christmas over my shoulder.

The moment we arrived at Forks High, Alice was at our side – bouncing like she always did when she was excited.

"We're going to be officially sisters!" She screamed, I gave a nervous look around but thankfully no one seemed to notice her excitement or her outburst – well no one except the rest of the Cullen's.

"But... but I didn't say yes..." I trailed off, I hadn't actually said yes had I? I remembered then that I had been accepting of the idea of being Edward's wife, actually liking the concept of being _his._

"You may not have said it, but you _had_ decided it." She murmured, linking her arm through mine.

"Alice, don't pressure her." Edward said, from the corner of my eye I saw that he was smiling. Alice shrugged next to me and I could see her mind ticking as she thought things over, probably an over the top wedding or something. I shuddered as a huge Cathedral full of flowers and bows and arches ran through my head, there's no way I could let her do _that_.

"Relax, Bella, it won't be that bad." she mumbled after a second. I grumbled the whole way to my first class.

The whole day passed by quickly, my mind was so occupied with thoughts about Marriage and Wedding's and Edward that there was barely enough room to focus on my work or anything else, but the thoughts made me joyous, I was actually kind of happy that Edward had brought up this topic last night.

"Love, if it's making you uncomfortable..." He trailed off, we were now sitting in his car, the school bell had just rung and we were waiting for some of the cars to disappear before we drove out of the gates.

"No, I'm not uncomfortable, it's just a lot to think about." I told him, holding his hand for reassurance.

"I should have waited." Edward whispered more to himself than to me, but I still heard him. I knew my hesitation was making him more and more uncertain about whether or not I was ready for this step.

"I love you, Edward." I told him, trying to erase the doubt I could see on his face. He smiled and kissed the back of my hand.

"And I, you."

We arrived in front of Charlie's house in only a few minutes after we left school, Edward opened my door for me and walked me to the house.

"Will you come with me?" He asked.

I froze, he'd asked me that just before he'd broken up with me those months ago. "Um..." I just barely managed to get out.

"To our Meadow, love." I exhaled in a rush, and smiled weakly up at him.

"Of course"

We drove to the small trail and ended up in the Meadow 5 minutes later – although it was in the middle of nowhere.

I sat down in the flowers, the sun was beaming down brightly – for Forks anyway.

I crawled over to where Edward was lounging and sat in his lap, the glare of his skin in the sun hurting my eyes only slightly.

"So beautiful" I whispered, feeling the touch of his face and seeing the many sparkles reflect on my skin. We stared at each other for a few minutes until I broke the silence.

"So..." I started, "You say that the compromise for me to become a vampire, is to marry you first." I didn't say it as a question, I'd thought about it many times already.

"Yes" Edward confirmed.

"And that's it? Nothing else?"

"Not unless I think of something else at a later date that I believe to be important." I mulled over this for a few minutes. If I didn't like what Edward was going to propose later, I'm sure I could talk him out of it. With that, I smiled at him.

"Then, yes."

"Yes?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I'll marry you, Edward."

-.- -.- -.-

"Oh my... it's beautiful!" I exclaimed, a full day had passed since I'd agreed to marry Edward, and already Alice constantly harassing me about what type of flowers we should have and what type of cut my dress should be. I'd hinted to Edward that I needed to be away from her for a while, and so he'd taken me to his room and locked the door – Alice wouldn't dare break it, not with Esme in the house.

He was currently showing me his mothers engagement ring – mine now. It was breath taking, it was silver and flat with diamonds covering it, I was completely taken.

"Now... let me do this right." Edward murmured, I was sitting on the edge of the bed and he'd knelt down in front of me, _oh my – _"Isabella Swan, I promise to love and cherish you for every moment of forever, will you do me the extraordinary honour of being my wife?"

My breath caught in my throat, and for a minute I didn't think I'd be able to answer, everything was quiet – in this room and downstairs, I knew they'd all be listening. I saw Edward swallow nervously as he waited for my answer, at the last minute I whispered "Yes".

He picked me up and hugged me close to him, kissing me in a way that he'd never done before. I felt my knees go weak and was glad that he was supporting my weight.

I laid down in Edward's bed, snuggling close to him – staring at my ring, it had been a perfect fit. I smiled, _we really are meant for each other. _

"I love you" I told him, leaning up to kiss his cheek but he turned his head and captured my lips in his – something he'd never done before. It took me by surprise but was a very good one, I responded eagerly and was happy when he deepened the kiss – still staying in complete control though.

"I love you, too" He whispered, we were both panting. I looked out the glass wall and saw that it was now dark. I frowned.

"I don't want to go home."

"Alice saw what had happened tonight and did the duty of calling Charlie to ask if you could sleep over. You're here all night." I smiled and made a note to give Alice a big thank you.

We stayed in silence for about another hour, I was about to doze off when there was a knock on the door.

"Bella, please come down to eat something. We wouldn't want our new bride to starve." Esme called through the door, as if on cue, my stomach grumbled.

One week, that's all it took until Alice was in full Maid of Honour mode.

"Bella, come here please!" I had just gotten home from school and had finally got out of my warming shower, it had started snowing and I wasn't liking it very much.

I groaned dramatically and turned on the heat in the house, finding Alice in my lounge room, sitting on the couch with papers over her lap and the coffee table. Charlie was still at work.

I'd expected to see Edward with her since we' barely been separated since we'd started dating again – or rather, since we'd been _engaged. _But Alice had made him stay away today, explaining that it was _wedding stuff that he wasn't allowed to know._

"What do you think of these dresses?" she had sketched designs of wedding gowns and seemed to be torn between which one I would like.

"You're already thinking about dresses? We've only been engaged for a week, the date isn't even set yet!" I looked at her in awe, amazed that even Alice could be so organised with this.

"You get a lot done when you don't have to sleep" she explained, pushing the papers towards me. The first dress on the page was beautiful, it was layered and puffed out to the floor, the torso looked like it was made of lace and the sleeves were pieces of material that would wrap around my arms – leaving the shoulders bare.

The second dress was a cream colour rather than white, it was tight fitting but puffed around the bottom, it had a train that ruffled down the back, the edges of the gown was lace – just like the sleeves and top.

The third wedding dress was shiny so I thought it might have been silk, the make of it kind of reminded me of a mermaid – figure hugging but loose at the bottom, it had short sleeves with a bow tied around the torso, the veil looked transparent with small flowers around the edges and hung almost to the floor.

The fourth choice was simple compared to the rest, it had a high cut and the sleeves would come half way down my arms. The top looked like it was made of lace and the skirt hung to the floor, coming out in a sweep but didn't have a train. The back of the top dipped a bit low and gave it a more elegant look [on profile].

"Wow" I murmured, "Alice they're gorgeous"

"I knew you'd like them!" she beamed, "which one do you like the most though?"

I searched through the sketches again, trying to pick out individual things that I liked about each one, eventually I pointed to the third wedding dress. I'd picked it because it reminded me of Edward – namely because of the shear elegance of the dress. It was by far the most beautiful.

Alice left shortly after I had chosen, telling me that she needed to go to the mall to get fabrics. I shrugged my shoulders, she never needed an excuse to shop.

I got up from the couch that I had been sitting on to get the phone.

"Hello?" I asked into the receiver.

"Hey Bells, how's it going?"

"Jake? Oh my gosh!" I almost yelled, it had seemed like ages since I'd been able to speak to him, and in all seriousness – in the craziness that my life seemed to be at the moment, I'd forgotten all about him. He just laughed on the other end, something about him kind of put me on edge but I didn't pay it much attention.

"How've you been? How's Billy? How's school? Have you fixed the Rabbit yet? Are you dating anyone?" I asked in a rush.

"Um... slow down please, Bella. I'm good, so is Billy. The Rabbit's all up and running... I forgot what else you asked." Just then there was a knock at the door, _Edward _I thought with a grin.

"Can you hang on just a sec? Edward's at the door." Without giving him time to respond, I set the phone on the table and raced to open the door.

"Good Afternoon, love" I smiled brightly and flung myself into his awaiting arms, "Missed me that much, huh?" he joked, burying his face in my neck.

"I always miss you when we're not together" I told him simply, pulling him into the house.

"I hope Alice wasn't too annoying." Edward murmured as he sat on the kitchen chair, I came around and sat on his lap, making myself comfortable.

"No, she'll probably be the most organised Maid of Honour in history though." he mumbled about _Alice being Alice_ and picked up the receiver that I had forgotten about, looking confused. I froze, _oh god, Jake._

"Jacob?" I said into the phone, but there was no answer – just a dead line. "Oh no," I whispered, hanging up the call. "What if he heard what we were talking about?" I said to Edward, starting to freak out.

"Relax, Bella. Jacob had hung up when you told him that I was here." I frowned, so Jacob _still_ didn't like Edward?

"Okay," I reluctantly said, "Maybe I should call him just in case..." I trailed off seeing Edward's expression. _I'll do that when he leaves. _"Nevermind"

_Ring ring, ring ring_. I was glad that both Edward and I were distracted by the phone.

"Hello?" I said into the receiver only half paying attention.

"Don't tell Edward what the dress looks like, I'm warning you, Bella." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, looking at Edward.

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

"Edward wants to know what the dress will look like, but it's a surprise, so don't tell him." I rolled my eyes at her, why would Edward care what my dress looked like?

"I doubt he'll care about what I'll be wearing, Alice."

"Just don't tell him." Alice warned again and hung up. I stayed on the line for another second, Alice could be a little intimidating when she needed to be.

"On the contrary actually, love." Edward spoke once I had hung up the phone, I turned around and looked at him – waiting to hear what he had to say. "I'm very interested in what you'll be wearing, I want to remember everything about you on our Wedding Day."

"Well," I said, sitting in the chair opposite him, "I doubt that you'll ever forget. Vampire memories don't fade, remember?" I said, using his words against him. I remember back when we'd first started dating and he'd told me about being a vampire – how he had a photographic memory.

"That is true." Edward replied, "Are we going to tell Charlie tonight?"

I froze and felt my mouth pop open, through this whole time – I'd never once thought of actually _telling_ Charlie that I was getting married, whenever I'd thought of the future, Charlie had always just _known_. He's more against young marriages than I was, and he doesn't know Edward like I do.

"Breathe, Bella" Edward said soothingly, coming beside me and stroking my hair away from my face, "We don't have to tell him yet." I nodded slowly, trying to let that process in my mind, we didn't have to tell him tonight. Charlie wouldn't try to kill us yet.

"Okay" I whispered rather breathlessly.

"It'll be okay, it's not the worst thing that could happen." he told me, lifting me up effortlessly and sitting me on his lap.

"It is in my dad's mind." I grumbled, "and my mom! How am I going to tell Renee?" I sobbed, not actually crying, just frustrated.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." I smiled at Edward, wishing that I could have been as calm as him, but then again, he was the indestructible one – he had no fears.

"Well," I finally murmured, resting my arm around his shoulders, "What do you want to do?"

"I don't mind, love. You can choose" I pondered for a moment, looking around at the parts of the house that I could see from where we were sitting and then decided that we could watch a movie.

"Want to watch a movie?" I asked, and when Edward nodded I tried to get up but he held me to him, putting his arms under my knees and around my torso to lift me up bridal style. I squeaked with surprise and clung to him as tightly as I could.

We put the movie, _Titanic_, on and Edward relived the time when the real ship had sunk, telling me about it – but obviously keeping out the horrifying details.

It was about 5:30 when Charlie arrived home from the station, his foot steps seemed to echo louder tonight, although we weren't telling him we were engaged _just_ yet, I was still very nervous that he could notice something different about us and force the truth.

I clung closer to Edward, trying to make it seem like I was just snuggling into him rather than hiding the whole time Charlie stomped around the house complaining about being tired.

I relaxed a little when he ordered a pizza and seemed to settle down.

I calmed down significantly when I saw Charlie starting to doze off, Edward had left an hour before and since then I had been totally focused on the game that was playing on the television.

"Dad!" I called, shaking him slightly, he mumbled something intelligible and moved his head to the side. "Charlie!"

"Wh... what? Is something wrong?" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"No, you fell asleep. You should go to bed before you hurt your neck." Charlie yawned and got up thanking me and telling me good night. I waited until I heard his door close before I went to the phone.

"Bella?" Edward's voice asked once the ringing had stopped, I smiled at the sound of it.

"Hi," I murmured, the smile still in my words. "Can you come over now?"

"Of course, love. Is Charlie asleep?"

"Yep," I said, trying to be quiet. "I'll meet you in my room"

"Okay, see you soon" Edward said, I could hear his car in the background purring to life. I hung up the phone and quietly climbed the stairs to my room, turning off the lights on the way.

**[AN: Okay, so I know this story is really sketchy and stuff, I just wanted it to seem like a lot of time is passing before Edward and Bella actually get engaged, because I don't think they should just get back together then be engaged a few days later. Silly in my opinion. And I hope you all like fluff, coz this chapter had a lot, obviously. Sorry if you dont. I hope you enjoyed :), R&R]**


	18. Something I Said

Chapter 17 – Something I Said.

Do you feel free, have what you need.

Or do you still feel scared inside?

'Cause I am on the line and don't know what to do.

No, you know I am on the line so.

Was it something I said to you.

And was it something we can't work through.

And was it something I made you do.

Or was that something you?

Sometimes I'm bold and brash, and sometimes I'm prone to crash.

And sometimes I say too much, and sometimes it's not enough.

But I'll never hold you back from something you want so bad.

Just tell me so I'm not sad, was it something I said?

Something I said to you.

And was it something we can't work through.

And was it something I made you do.

Or was it something I said to you, you?

Was it something that we just can't work through?

Something, something, something you.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

"Billy told me you were here..." I trailed off, walking the few paces over the sand and sitting down next to Jake. I'd come here to do something I never thought I'd have to do, tell him that I was getting married. I was absolutely terrified.

Edward and I had started telling people that we were engaged about 2 days ago – after we'd broken the news to Charlie and Renee. Charlie, of course, had freaked when we'd told him, or better, when _Edward_ had told him, I was too scared. – claiming that there had to be another reason we were getting married other than the obvious one that we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. He had felt triumphant when he realised that I was the one who had to break the news to Renee, whom had a darker view on young marriages than even he did. She'd taken it surprisingly well, something I was very grateful for and something that Charlie had seen as a type of betrayal.

"Oh, hey Bella" Over the first few months of Edward's... departure, Jake and I had grown very close – Best friend's even. We would spend every day together, doing homework, fixing his old car up, everything – all of this had stopped when Jacob had started his rebellious stage, cutting his hair off and skipping school, something that Billy was not very worried about.

I had tried countless times to get Jake's attention back, using his weakness – something that later grew to be common for me, against him, his love. He'd confessed that he had began to fall in love with me, though I couldn't reciprocate his feelings... he'd stayed around, helping me through my depression. Apart from all this, I stopped visiting, I stopped calling and got on with my life.

"How are you?" I asked, it'd seemed so long since we'd last seen each other, is it possible that he was bigger?

"Fine, yourself?" I commented on how well I was doing.

"You know... the Cullen's are back" I murmured slowly, looking out at all the white caps on the water – showing how windy it actually was.

"I know." He muttered shortly, I sighed and drew circles in the sand, buying time for myself.

"Well, Edward and I-" I was cut off by Jacob, he moved away from me slightly, giving himself space.

"You're back together." I nodded slightly, keeping my eyes away from him. "I knew this would happen." He murmured quietly.

"It's not just that..." I trailed off again, letting my words float between us.

"What? Is the leech moving in?" He growled somewhat sarcastically, I knew he didn't like talking about this. His tribe's legends knew about Vampire's, about the Cullen's. I gave his arm a slight hit, knowing it wouldn't actually do him any damage.

"Be careful, Jake." I warned him. "And no, he's not moving in... we sort of skipped that step..." I trailed off again, hoping he'd catch the drift of the conversation without me actually having to say it.

"No" He gasped, standing up in a second, turning around to glare down at me. "You're _marrying_ the parasite?" He yelled.

I slowly stood up, actually fearing him for the first time in my life, and kept a safe distance.

"Bella..." I was taken aback by how quickly he'd switched, one moment he was livid and the next he was gentle and looked upset, it set me on edge a bit. "How can you _marry _him? He's not even human! He's... He's a corpse!"

My mouth popped open at his words, I was used to Jacob calling the Cullen's and other vampire's a leech and every other demeaning name he could think of, but a _corpse? _That was out of line.

"How _dare _you! Edward is not a _corpse_! He's twice the man you'll ever be!" I screamed at him, furious that he'd insulted Edward, and my family – and what I was about to become. I stomped up the beach, following the path to my truck.

"Bella, wait" I was stopped by Jacob grabbing my wrist, pulling me to a halt.

"Jacob, you can't talk like that about him." I told him, freeing my hand. "Why do you hate him so much? Apart from the obvious." I asked, Jacob and his tribe had some weird rivalry with the Cullen's, making them all hate each other – something that was ridiculous to me.

"Because, you're his. Not mine." I dropped my gaze then, Jacob was always eager to tell his feelings for me, I wouldn't have minded _so _much if I wasn't engaged to someone else.

"You can't tell me things like that anymore, Jake. It's not right." I told him softly, trying to not make him angry again.

"Yes it is, I'm still in love with you, Bella. I want you to be with me." he stepped closer, to which I stepped back with him, keeping the same distance as we had earlier.

"But I'm with Edward." I said, shaking my head slightly, _Edward was who I was supposed to be with, he's my everything. Why can't Jake see that? _

"It doesn't have to be that way, you can choose me." I was shaking my head instantly again, desperately.

"No. I don't want to choose, Jake. Don't make me. I want you in my life, but as my best friend. It's where you're supposed to be."

"You only don't want to choose because you're afraid you'll want me more than you'll want your leech." I looked up at him tiredly.

"No, Jacob. I don't want to choose because it'll be him. He's my _entire_ life, it's always been that way." I watched him comprehend my words, knowing that if he made me choose, then it would mean losing me forever.

"So, you don't love me?"

"I do, but as my friend, even as my brother." I smiled, hoping he'd understand now.

"I don't believe that, all the time we spent together, that wasn't _nothing_. You had to feel _something_ for me." he stepped closer to me and before I could realise what he was doing, he had my face cupped in his hands and his face barely an inch from mine.

"Jake, no" I murmured, trying to push on his chest. "Don't do this!"

Just as his lips grazed against mine, I pulled my knee up – hitting him between the legs. He stumbled and gasped in pain. Horrified with myself, I immediately started apologising.

"It's... It's okay" he breathed out, trying to calm himself. "At least, I know you believe that you only have eyes for the bloodsucker." I rolled my eyes and glared at him.

"You're unbelievable, Jacob." I muttered, I turned my back on him and opened the door, after getting into the drivers seat, I took one more look at him and pulled away from the curb, glad that I had that over and done with, the next part would be up to Jacob. If he wanted to see me, he'd make it happen.

The moment I crossed back over into Forks, I saw something in the middle of the road, thankfully because my Chevy didn't allow me to drive very fast at all I was able to stop in time.

"Edward! You scared me," I gasped once he'd gotten into the passenger seat, it was him who was standing in the middle of the road.

"Sorry, love." he apologised, "How did it go?"

"Alright... I think, he got pretty angry, then upset... and then he tried to convince me that I was doing the wrong thing." I explained, sighing and wondering if he'd ever speak to me again.

"I knew you shouldn't have gone there" Edward whispered, lifting my hand to kiss the back of it.

"No, I did the right thing." I told us both.

"Do you want to go to my house or Charlie's?" Edward asked as we turned onto the only main road in Forks.

"Um, can we go to our meadow? Alice's giving me a headache with all this wedding stuff, and I don't feel like being indoors anyway." I asked, knowing that'd he'd agree to anything I said, I turned right at the only lights in town and continued down to where the trail led.

"Of course, love." Edward said.

"I can't believe we're getting married" I murmured, though I had a smile on my face, sitting in the middle of our meadow. "I was thinking... before I'm changed into a vampire, I want to be able to say that I'm yours in every way..." I trailed off, getting nervous.

"What do you mean? You're already mine" Edward mused, confused at our direction of conversation.

"Yes, but... well, I want to add to our compromise." I told him, scooting closer to where he was lounging in the flower bed.

"What did you want to add?" He asked suspiciously, I didn't know how to approach this subject. I knew Edward loved me, but I wasn't sure how he thought about me... _if_ he thought about me, in that way.

"When I'm a newborn, all I'll want is blood, right? And that's all I'm ever going to want for about a decade, yes? And then, for the rest of forever, my number one thing that I'll need, is blood." He nodded along with everything I was saying, showing me that I was on the right track, I swallowed rather loudly and continued on, "I want you while I'm still _me_."

"Bella, I don't understand, you've already got me."

"Kiss me," I suggested and when he didn't respond, I spoke again. "Trust me."

Slowly he leaned in, still testing me, I leaned in as well, smiling as smoothly as I could to hide my nerves as I locked my lips onto his. I let myself just revel in the feel of his lips against mine before I made my hands move to his shirt, unbuttoning it in record time.

Edward didn't stop me, he had grown accustomed to being shirtless, if it meant that I had to be swaddled in blankets, then he didn't have to have it on, maybe he let me remove it this time because the sun was shining down – heating me up.

It was when I was lifting my own top up that he stopped me, "What are you doing?"

"I want you to make love to me, Edward" I whispered, trying to kiss him again but his horrified expression stopped me.

"Are you insane, Bella?" He exclaimed, picking his shirt up from where it'd fallen to the grass and buttoning it up.

"What?" I asked, shocked at his outburst.

"I can't make love to you! That's out of the question." I thought his words over until they finally started making sense to me, _of course, how had I not seen it before? Of course he wouldn't want to make love to a human._

"I see," I whispered, rejection overpowering every other emotion in my body until I had to look away from him.

"I'm not going to make love with you until you're immortal, Bella." I nodded slowly, keeping my eyes on the ground. Not until I'm immortal, not until I'm indestructible and closer to his level in beauty. I could feel my eyes brimming with tears, I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down. "Love, please look at me." I shook my head, I heard Edward sigh and then felt his arms around my back and under my knees – effortlessly lifting me to his lap.

I gasped in shock for a moment, my eyes that were filled with tears snapped to his face, double their normal size.

"Why are you crying, sweetheart?" Edward asked, wiping away a tear with his thumb.

"It's okay if you don't feel the same way, I never meant to try and pressure you." I rushed out. Edward brushed the hair away from my face and played with a few strands while he spoke.

"Silly, Bella. We're engaged, love. How could you honestly believe that I wouldn't want you in every way possible?"

"You want me?" I asked doubtfully.

"Very much so" he told me, smiling his crooked grin that always set my heart on a sprint. "Especially when you do that" Edward raised an eye brow, I immediately stopped biting my lip – something I did when I was in deep thought, but couldn't help smiling at him, a blush spreading out across my cheeks.

"If you do want me, then why were you so... disgusted, when I was trying to..." I trailed off, gesturing to his shirt.

"Oh Bella, I wasn't disgusted love, I didn't know you felt that way so you caught me off guard. I was very torn and overreacted, I'm sorry." Edward kissed me briefly on the lips but it was enough for me to almost forget everything, _almost._

"This isn't over, Edward. I still want a _real_ honeymoon with you." I murmured after a moment of comfortable silence.

"It's too dangerous, Bella. I'm not going to risk losing you, just for my own pleasure." he argued.

"Can't you just think it over? We can at least _try_, and if you hurt me I'll tell you, I promise." I asked him softly, putting my hand against his cheek, he closed his eyes at my touch.

"It'd still be too dangerous for you." Edward said, stubborn as always.

"You said you wanted me to have every human experience, this is one that now I've thought about it, I'm not willing to give up." He stayed quiet then, so I spoke softer than before, "We can try."

"Okay, we'll _try._" Edward finally relented, I smiled a triumphant grin and hugged him, suddenly feeling guilty.

"I'm stealing your Innocence aren't I?" he laughed for a few seconds before he realised that I was being serious.

"It's not my Innocence that I'm trying to protect, love. Don't worry." I smiled gently and reminded him that I wanted this and hugged him to me again.

"But," he started, I didn't pull away but felt my smile fading. "I want to do this the right way, I want to be married to you before we make love."

"Okay," I said quickly, "A _real_ honeymoon." I was ecstatic that Edward had agreed to this so easily, I thought he'd be more opposed to sex while I'm human, maybe he wanted this just as much as I did.

We stayed in the Meadow for another hour before Edward told me that Charlie would be wondering where I was if we didn't get back soon. I grumpily agreed and let him sling me onto his back before he took off at an unnatural speed.

"Oh, good, you're home, Bella." Charlie said once I'd closed the front door with Edward by my side. "Billy Black invited us over for dinner and to watch the game, did you want to come?"

"Oh..." I trailed off, I didn't really feel like seeing Jacob yet, and I was sure that he'd be there, making things awkward – thankfully Edward already had an excuse waiting.

"Actually, Charlie, my mom invited Bella over for dinner tonight, she was just coming here to tell you, you're more than welcome to join us, of course." He smoothly told Charlie, dad seemed to think about it for a moment and the whole time Edward had a perfectly calm mask on his face.

"Maybe another time, Edward. Thanks for the invite, but I shouldn't bail on Billy." he eventually muttered, with a quick nod to Edward and a _see you later, kiddo_ to me, Charlie left the house.

"So, what are we actually going to do tonight, then?" I asked once I heard his police cruiser pull out of our driveway.

"Anything you want, love. Of course, the offer to have dinner at my house is always available." I smiled and said I'd love to go to his house to see everyone – hoping that Alice had stopped the wedding plans for the day.

In a quick few seconds, Edward had his little silver cellphone in his hand and was talking to Esme.

"Hi Esme, are you busy?... Excellent, Bella is coming over for dinner and I was hoping that you would be able to fix her something to eat? I would do it myself but... you're very kind, we'll see you soon. Bye."

"Edward," I started, pouting slightly, "Esme doesn't need to make me dinner, I'm sure she has plenty of other things she'd rather be doing."

"Actually, she sounded eager to do it, it's not every day she gets to cook a meal for one of her children." he shrugged, my eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, I hated people fussing over me. Edward's finger smoothed out the crease between my brows and he kissed my lips, effectively removing the pout in them.

"So, have you two decided on a date yet?" Alice asked, for what felt like the tenth time tonight.

"How do you feel about August the Thirteenth?" Edward asked me, he'd brought this date up nearly every time Alice asked us, I thought it was a good date, a month before my birthday – effectively giving us a month to prepare how we'd go about changing me. But it still seemed like short notice, and suspicious to other people.

"I don't know, isn't it a too short amount of time? I mean, surely we'd need more time for preparations." I replied, Alice and Esme were shaking their heads instantly.

"Nonsense, Bella. Six weeks is plenty of time." Alice murmured, already getting out her wedding journal, I rolled my eyes but was relieved that the pressure was off me.

I looked at Edward, he had a serene smile on his face, patiently awaiting my answer, "Okay," I murmured, "August the Thirteenth."

"Excellent" Alice beamed at us all before she vanished, dashing somewhere to work on her plans probably. Alice will be Alice.

I smiled around the room, only a few of the Cullen's were here, Edward, Esme, and Jasper. But it was enough to still make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world, I had an extended family that loved me dearly, and a soon-to-be husband that exceeded any woman's idea of perfect.

My life was finally complete, and soon I would be immortal with my Soul Mate. August 13, only 6 short weeks until I would be Bella Cullen. I couldn't wait.

**[Author Note: This chapter was pretty short compared to my other ones I think, so it'll get more interesting from here on I think... I hope, Review and let me know what you think :) THANKS! xxx]**


	19. Perfect Life

Chapter 18 – Perfect Life

_Mr. and Mrs. Charles Swan_

_would like you present for the marriage of their daughter,_

_Isabella Marie_

_to_

_Edward Anthony Masen_

_that will take place in Forks, Washington_

_on_

_August 13, 2008_

I read over the invitations that Alice had just finished editing, trying to compose some sort of list of who I wanted to be there.  
Charlie. Renee. Phil. Angela. Ben. Eric. Jessica. Mike. I was on the fence about inviting Jacob, I knew I should because he was such a good friend, until he started changing. Eventually I decided to add Jacob and Billy to the list, they could decide for themselves whether or not they wanted to be a part of it.

"Is that all you want?" Edward asked, peering over my shoulder to read the list.  
"Yes, I only want my closest friends there" I murmured quietly, double checking who I'd written.  
"Of course, love" He said, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and hugging me to him. This was really happening. It seems so official now that I'd made my part of the guest list.  
"Who are you inviting?" I asked Edward, I felt him shrug.  
"Just the Denali coven"  
"Tanya's family?" I asked, feeling my insecurities set in, Tanya had been interested in Edward longer than I had been alive, and I knew she would be a hundred times better looking than me – being a vampire and all, and from what I've heard of her coven, she sounded pretty amazing. I had never met her and I wasn't particularly looking forward to that day.  
"Yes, they've been very good to us over the years, they're like our extended family." he explained softly, feeling me stiffen. "What's wrong?"  
"Nothing," I told him, my hold tightening around his waist.  
"Bella, you have nothing to worry about, I've never thought of her that way, she's a sister to me. And she's over her crush now." I sighed, that had to be a lie, there's no way anyone would be able to get over a crush on Edward, he's perfect. "Besides," He continued, brushing the hair away from my face, "I prefer Brunettes" I felt my face flush as he stroked my cheek with his hand.  
"I'm going to miss this" He murmured, resting his forehead against mine, I closed my eyes and leaned closer against him.  
"I'll still be me, eventually." I told him, looking up at him again and smiling.  
"My Bella, just less fragile." he whispered, Alice walked in then, holding the wedding journal... again.  
"We _really _need to talk about a colour scheme." I rolled my eyes at her persistence but otherwise sat down on the couch, pulling Edward with me.  
"Okay, what about white?" I asked, Edward smiled and nodded along with me while Alice was jotting down in her planner.  
"Signifies purity, White is perfect." She said brightly, "What about the bridesmaid dresses?"  
"You can choose that, you're the only one." she pursed her lips for a few seconds, and seemed to be comparing things in her mind.  
"Silver," She finally decided. I let Alice take reigns for the rest of the details for the wedding, I'd already reached my capacity.

"I'm glad that's finally over" I said dramatically, laying down on Edward's bed, "I can't wait until this is all over and we're finally mated forever."  
"6 weeks, love." he murmured, wrapping me in his arms.  
"Where are we going for our honeymoon?" I asked him, forgetting that we actually needed to plan that as well, or had Alice done that?  
Edward shook his head, "It's a surprise, Alice will pack your bag"  
"But I don't like surprises" I whined.  
"You'll like this one" he promised, smiling gently. I let it drop then, I didn't want to ruin our mood, everything seemed so perfect, but at the same time, I was anxious – usually when everything goes well, something bad arises.

-.- -.- -.- -.-

"Alice, I look stupid." I heard my dads voice, I quickly rounded the corner and saw Charlie standing in the middle of our television room with Alice flitting around him pulling and prodding his brown tux.  
"Relax, Charlie, No one looks silly when I'm dressing them." She scoffed.  
"She's right dad, Alice has some serious talent." I murmured, setting myself down in a chair not too far from them.  
"I'm glad you think so, Bella, It's your turn next." Alice told me, cheerfully. I groaned but didn't argue, until the words sunk in.  
"You've made the dress _already_? But it's been like... like... 2 days since I chose it!" I exclaimed in disbelief.  
"I haven't completely finished, I've just done the cut and layout."  
I shook my head in exasperation and stomped upstairs, Alice was unbelievable.

_"Go to your happy place, Bella. It won't take long." _I frowned at Alice as she rushed me to undress._ I stripped down to my underwear and held my arms straight out._  
_"You'd think I was shoving bamboo splinters under your nails," I paid no attention to her. I was in my happy place._

_In my happy place, the whole wedding mess was over and done. Behind me. Already repressed and forgotten._

We were alone

_, just Edward and me. The setting was fuzzy and constantly in flux – it morphed from misty forest to cloud-covered city to arctic night – because Edward was keeping the location of our honeymoon a secret to surprise me._ A surprise I wasn't particularly excited about. _But I wasn't especially concerned about the where part._

_Edward and I were together, and I'd fulfilled my side of our compromise perfectly. I'd married him. That was the big one._ I'd even agreed to accept his outrageous gift of a new car when my truck dies, which I had an feeling would happen soon. _Now it was his turn._  
_Before he turned me into a vampire – his big compromise – he had one other stipulation to make good on._

"We're done" Alice told me, I felt her pull the material away from my body and waited until she said I could open my eyes to get dressed again. "See, that wasn't so bad now, was it?"  
"I guess not." I admitted, fixing my top until it sat right.  
"Are you coming over, now?" she asked as she gathered the covered dress over one of her small arms, and waited for me by the door.  
"No, I'm having dinner here tonight, I feel bad that I haven't spend much time with Charlie." I said, leading the way out of my room and down the stairs.  
"Bye Charlie!" Alice called from the entryway, before hugging me good-bye and walking out to her Yellow Porsche. I saw the briefest flash of crystals as the uncommon sun beamed down and showed Alice, I hoped no one was looking out of their windows, but by the way that Alice reacted as if nothing had happened, I guessed she hadn't been caught.  
"Alice, I like." Charlie grumbled as I walked into the television room, I rolled my eyes at him.  
"Be nice, Edward's my _fiance_ now." it felt weird saying the word _Fiance_, but I didn't dwell on it for long. I made my way to the kitchen to find something for dinner, although there seemed to be nothing, except for left over chicken that looked green rather than what it was supposed to look like.  
"I'll be back soon, I need to get something to cook." I took some grocery money from the jar in the kitchen and quickly grabbed my keys, running out to my Chevy.

"Oh, hi Bella." Lauren Mallory murmured, smiling as she took the food from my basket and started scanning them.  
"Hello" I greeted slowly, she was never nice to me.  
"I heard that you and Edward Cullen are engaged, is that true?" She asked casually.  
I hesitated for a second before answering, "Yes"  
"Oh, good. So you aren't interested in Tyler then?" I quickly remembered back to the few days before the Cullen's returned, when I had intentionally caused problems between the two of them.  
"Oh... Um, I'm sorry for trying to cause problems for your relationship... I don't care about Tyler in that way, nor have I ever." she looked at me cautiously for a few seconds before hitting a few keys on her board and telling me that the groceries came to $23.45.  
I gave her my money and waited for her to say something, though she didn't. "What I said wasn't true..." I trailed off, picking up the bag of food.  
"Didn't he tell you that?" I murmured quietly.  
"Yes, I didn't believe him, though."  
"Well, he hasn't cheated on you, as far as I know" I told her, hoping to brighten her mood a little, even though I knew they're love wasn't as passionate as Edward and mine, it would have hurt her deeply to think he'd betray her.  
"It's too late now, we've broken up." she whispered, I'd never seen Lauren so vulnerable, it was strange.  
"It's never too late." I mumbled and walked off.

"Dinner was great, thanks Bells." Charlie breathed, leaning back in the chair. I had made Steak Sandwiches, something simple and easy.  
"That's okay" I mumbled, picking up our plates.

I sat up watching the game with Charlie until about 9:30 before I announced that I was going to bed.

"Night, Kiddo"  
I let out a gasp of surprise when I felt cold hands brush my hair from my neck.  
"Sorry, love" Edward chuckled, I breathed a few calming breaths and continued buttoning up my pyjama top.  
"It's alright" I mumbled, turning around to hug him. I gave him a greeting kiss before I went and settled into my bed, Edward laying on the covers.  
I fell into a comfortable sleep after Edward started humming my lullaby, something that never failed to calm me enough into unconsciousness.

"Good morning, beautiful" I smiled and stretched, feeling my muscles unlock, "we have to get to school soon"  
"Can't we take the day off?" I asked, hoping he'd want to do the same.  
"Are you willing to argue with Charlie when he finds out?" Edward reasoned, I frowned and shook my head.  
"Then I guess we should go" He told me, I sighed and got out of my bed, I didn't bother with the shower this morning, I had had one yesterday, I was still fresh.  
I slumbered over to my closet and got out a yellow t-shirt with black jeans and a pair of black lace up ballet flats, I grabbed my black jacket and told Edward that I was ready [on profile].  
"Can I drive today?" I asked, grabbing my bag and keys from the kitchen bench.  
"Sure" He told me, somewhat cheerfully. I shot him a suspicious glance but otherwise was pleased that my truck would get a better run today.

We were half way to school when the Chevy started spluttering and wheezing, which wouldn't have been so out-of-character if the car hadn't been jerking as well.  
I looked at Edward worriedly as it made more spluttering noises, I was just about to ask what was happening when my truck came to an abrupt stop, and with a last wheeze, I heard the engine die.

When I tried to restart it, nothing happened.

"My truck!" I exclaimed, Edward got out swiftly and asked me to pop the hood of the car. When I did, he looked over it for a few seconds before turning back to me and telling me that it's unfixable.  
"Sorry, love. I'll get Rose to have a look at it though, in case she sees something that I missed." Edward tried to console me, I pouted and my eyes actually got a little teary, although it was just a car – it was the first good thing that had come out of moving to Forks, I'd grown very attached to it.  
"I'll go get my car, will you be okay here for a few minutes?" I nodded and felt Edward's lips lightly brush against my forehead before I felt the wind rush around me as he sped off at an inhuman pace. He was only gone for a few minutes – like he'd said, but it was enough to send my mind into overdrive and start me hyperventilating. That was the exact same departure he'd given me when he'd left me in the woods those months ago. I knew I was ridiculously stupid to even think about that now, we were engaged. But I'd never get over my insecurities about our relationship until we were both vampires, maybe I'd still feel on a different level then.  
"Bella, are you alright?" Edward exclaimed, I jumped a little, I hadn't even heard his car. He took my face in his hands until I looked him in the eye, I immediately relaxed. He was here, of course he was here. "Is this all about your car?"  
I thanked who ever was responsible for my defective mind and nodded slowly, not trusting my voice.  
"If it means so much to you, I'll get you a car just like it." I shook my head.  
"No, that's okay." I managed to choke out. I let him lead me to the car, opening my door up for me. Before I got into the passenger seat, I reached up on my toes and kissed him in thanks.  
I watched him walk back around to my truck and lock the doors, before he hopped into the drivers side and sped off towards school.  
"Please don't spend too much on the car" I said to Edward when we'd pulled into the parking spot next to Alice's Porsche.  
"I won't spend any more than I think is necessary." I rolled my eyes at him, knowing that what he'd just said would probably mean some outrageously priced machine. _Great._

[Author Note: The excerpt from **Breaking Dawn** is in _italics_. REVIEW! I know this is short, but it'll get more interesting from now on! SWEAR! Wedding is next chapter! AND vote on my new POLL :)]


	20. I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

Chapter 19 – Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You.

You're too good to be true.

Can't take my eyes off of you.

You feel like heaven to touch.

I want to hold you so much.

At long last love has arrived.

And I thank god I'm alive.

You're just too good to be true.

Can't take my eyes off of you.

Pardon the way that I stare.

There's nothing else to compare.

The sight of you makes me weak.

There are no words left to speak.

But if you feel like I feel,

Please let me know that it's real.

You're just too good to be true.

Can't take my eyes off of you.

I love you.

And if it's quite alright.

I need you.

To warm the lonely nights.

I love you.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

"Bella, calm down. You're going to ruin all my hard work." Alice told me for what felt like the tenth time, I couldn't keep myself from shaking though, or my heart from skipping beats each time I heard something outside of her bathroom.  
Alice was currently finishing my make up for my wedding... my _wedding_. I shook my head quickly while she turned to get some sort of cosmetic and tried to take deep breaths.  
"Do you want me to get Jasper?" she asked, making me close my eyes to finish my eye shadow, I whispered _no_, and just focused on what Alice was doing, trying to feel normal again. "It's Edward, Bella. You have nothing to be nervous about."  
"I know," I told her, my voice wavering, "I'm not nervous of _marrying _Edward, I'm nervous that I'll trip or humiliate myself in some other way."  
"Don't worry, you'll be fine, the heels aren't even that big." Alice told me, as if on cue, the door opened and Rosalie walked in holding a clothing bag and a pair of white strappy heels – thankfully, the heel on them wasn't a ridiculous height, I'm glad Alice thought of that.  
"Is there anything I can do?" Rose asked, I wiped my clammy hands on my sweat pants and went back to idly shaking my leg.  
"Sure, can you do her hair? I want it to be in braids like this, and the veil to sit here." I felt Rosalie's hands go to work on my hair then, "Oh," Alice added, "and don't forget these hair clips that Bella's mom gave her to wear."

I couldn't chance a look at myself in the mirror and so I was glad when Alice didn't force me, I knew that if I saw myself, made up in the dress and all, that I would lose grip on my composure.  
"Are you ready?" Alice asked me, I sucked in a breath and nodded, she was wearing a silver long dress that looked like a waterfall, the way it slid down her body and swayed when she walked, her hair was in curls today, rather than they usual messy pixie cut [on profile]. I saw Rosalie on Alice's bed, fastening her silver death traps to her feet, she had a silver gown on with her hair in a bun on top of her head, I was instantly jealous of how beautiful she was [on profile].  
I looked down at my own gown, but only saw white, I couldn't tell where one piece of fabric ended and another began, it was elegant and timeless – it was Edward. I smiled, momentarily wondering if he'd like it, _of course he would_, I told myself.  
"Okay," Rosalie said, she smiled at me brightly for a moment before walking out the door and down the hall.  
"Where's she going?" I asked.  
"Going to Edward's piano to begin playing, of course." Alice told me, she grabbed our flowers and told me to follow her 5 seconds after she left. "That's my cue" She murmured as a beautiful tune began to float up the staircase, with a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, she dashed out of the room.  
I waited exactly 5 seconds before I walked out of the bathroom and to the top of the stairs, where I was met with Charlie, I sighed a breath of relief and clung to his arm.  
"Don't let me trip, dad" I whispered to him, shifting on my feet.  
"You'll do great, kiddo." He whispered back, I heard the traditional song start to play and turned to Charlie, swallowing loudly. "You look beautiful, Bella. C'mon, Edward's waiting."  
That was all I needed to get me to start descending the stairs, the whole time, my dad's words echoing, _Edward's waiting._

I didn't lift my eyes until my feet were safely on the flat ground, though I could hear the murmurs and rustling of the audience as I came into view. Blood flooded my cheeks at the sound; of course I could be counted on to be the blushing bride. 

_As soon as my feet were past the treacherous stairs, I was looking for him. For a brief second, I was distracted by the profusion of white blossoms that hung in garlands from everything in the room that wasn't alive, dripping with long lines of white gossamer ribbons. But I tore my eyes from the bowery canopy and searched across the rows of satin-draped chairs-blushing more deeply as I took in the crowd of faces all focused on me-until I found him at last, standing before an arch overflowing with more flowers, more gossamer._

_I was barely conscious that Carlisle stood by his side, and Angela's father behind them both. I didn't see my mother where she must have been sitting in the front row, or my new family, or any of the guests-they would have to wait till later._

_All I really saw was Edward's face; it filled my vision and overwhelmed my mind. His eyes were a buttery, burning gold; his perfect face was almost severe with the depth of his emotion. And then, as he met my awed gaze, he broke into a breathtaking smile of exultation._

_Suddenly, it was only the pressure of Charlie's hand on mine that kept me from sprinting headlong down the aisle._

_The march was too slow as I struggled to pace my steps to its rhythm. Mercifully, the aisle was very short. And then, at last, at last, I was there. Edward held out his hand. Charlie took my hand and, in a symbol as old as the world, placed it in Edward's. I touched the cool miracle of his skin, and I was home.  
_

_I didn't realise I was crying until it was time to say the binding words._

_"I do," I managed to choke out in a nearly unintelligible whisper, blinking my eyes clear so I could see his face._

_When it was his turn to speak, the words rang clear and victorious._

_"I do," he vowed._

"Repeat after me"...

" I, Isabella Marie Swan, take you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, to be my lawfully wedded husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live." I repeated the words that Angela's father said, listening as Edward's words rang even clearer than when he'd said _I do._  
I smiled a triumphant grin as Edward bent down to kiss me, for the first time since being announced as Husband and Wife, I threw my arms around him – bouquet and all until he pulled away, smiling at me with a whole new light in his eyes.  
"I love you, Mrs Cullen" He whispered, close to my ear, I smiled and whispered back that I loved him as well, winding my arms around his waist – one second later, the crowd erupted, making me blush for forgetting they were there.

Edward turned us in their direction and I was immediately in the arms of my mother, she cried happy tears on my shoulder whilst telling me how happy she was for both Edward and myself. I tore my eyes away from my _husband's_ and thanked her, telling her I loved her.

I worked my way through all of the guests, thanking them whole-heartedly when they congratulated Edward and I, and finally it was time for the reception, which was being held in the Cullen's backyard.  
The canopy shelter that was set up was adorned in more white blossoms but here and there were coloured flowers, giving the place a more magical look, there were white covered tables and chairs, with a space for dancing. The only light source were the twinkle lights that I recognised from my birthday last year, when I asked Alice about it, she explained that by the time everyone left, it would be sunset – it would still be light enough for humans to see, and would look more romantic. Alice had really outdone herself.

"This is amazing," I told my new sister, hugging her tightly.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," I moved my attention to Carlisle, who was standing at the front of the area, with a glass raised. "Without any further delay, I would like to present, for the first time, Mr and Mrs Edward Cullen"

Everyone clapped as Edward led me to the middle of the dance floor set up, I let him sway me around the dance floor to a song that I didn't recognise, it was slow and lovely, a piano composition.  
"What's this song? It's beautiful" I asked him after a minute or so of listening to it.  
Edward smiled, and traced my face, "One of my compositions that I made for you."  
"You wrote this? For me?" I asked, my face lighting up when he nodded, "Edward" I sighed, smiling, closing my eyes against his chest.  
"Of course, love." I heard the tinkling of glasses being tapped, I looked around myself – momentarily confused, "They waiting for us to kiss" Edward explained.  
_Oh_, I told myself, surprised that that part had escaped my mind.

Edward and my lips touched just as his composition drifted into _Clair De Lune_.  
"Today's been perfect" I whispered when we broke apart, I looked behind Edward's frame and saw Jasper and Alice also dancing to the music, I smiled and looked back at him.  
"The happiest day of my existence" He told me, I leaned up as much as I could and gave him a kiss on the cheek, which he returned by kissing me on the lips.  
"I love you" I said.  
"That's why we're here" He murmured, resting our foreheads together.

We swayed together for a while longer, I wasn't sure how many songs were played, they started blurring together for me, just like one long dance.

I heard the change in the next song though, and recognised it instantly, it was Esme's favourite. I smiled.  
"Edward," I started, "I think you should dance with Esme for this song"  
He nodded, "I don't want to let go of you though."  
I rested against his chest, "I have to dance with my dad."

_It wasn't nearly as easy to dance with Charlie. He was no better at it than I was, so we moved safely from side to side in a tiny square formation. Edward and Esme spun around us like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers._

_"I'm going to miss you at home, Bella. I'm already lonely."_

_I spoke through a tight throat, trying to make a joke of it. "I feel just horrible, leaving you to cook for yourself-it's practically criminal negligence. You could arrest me." _

_He grinned. "I suppose I'll survive the food. Just call me whenever you can."_

_"I promise."_

_It seemed like I danced with everyone. It was good to see all my old friends, but I really wanted to be with Edward more than anything else. I was happy when he finally cut in, just half a minute after a new dance started._

_"Still not that fond of Mike, eh?" I commented as Edward whirled me away from him._

_"Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. Or worse."_

_"Yeah, right."_

_"Have you had a chance to look at yourself?"_

_"Um. No, I guess not. Why?"_

_"Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly, heart-breakingly beautiful you are tonight. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. I am disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror."_

_"You are very biased, you know."_

_He sighed and then paused and turned me around to face the house. The wall of glass reflected the party back like a long mirror. Edward pointed to the couple in the mirror directly across from us._

_"Biased, am I?"_

_I caught just a glimpse of Edward's reflection-a perfect duplicate of his perfect face- with a dark-haired beauty at his side. Her skin was cream and roses, her eyes were huge with excitement and framed with thick lashes. The narrow sheath of the shimmering white dress flared out subtly at the train almost like an inverted calla lily, cut so skillfully that her body looked elegant and graceful-while it was motionless, at least._

_"Let me dance with my little sister. This could be my last chance to make her blush." _I turned around and saw Emmett standing behind us, looking handsome in a black tuxedo.  
"Of course," Edward said, kissing me on the forehead before leaving me with Emmett.

He did indeed make me blush – many times, as we spun elegantly around the dance floor, Emmett moving too gracefully for someone of his size. I blushed the deepest when he started giving me 'tips' for our honeymoon, so I was grateful when Edward claimed me as his again.  
"Ignore our deranged brother" Edward murmured, shooting a glare in his direction as he danced around us with Rosalie.  
"I try," I sighed, shaking my head at my new big brother, a smile on my face.

"Bella! It's time, It's time!" Alice sang, almost an hour after the toasts and cake had been eaten.  
"Time?" I asked, my eye brows furrowing.  
"You need to make your plane!" I rolled my eyes and pulled Edward by the hand with me. "No, no. Edward stays out here." I was about to protest when he told me that he had to get the car and that he would meet me at the front of the house.

"You're the best sister in the world, Alice" I told her after she'd helped me out of my wedding dress and into my going-away outfit, a cream coloured knee-length dress that had a black belt around the waist, it was paired with black heels [on profile]. "Heels, Alice?" I asked uncertainly.  
"Don't worry, that's just for show, I've put black flats in the front seat of the car."

I thanked her, and made my way downstairs, where the crowd had gathered, one by one I said good-bye to my closest friends and family, the hardest to say goodbye to were Renee, Charlie and Angela, I didn't know if I would ever see them again.

"Bella, there's someone I'd like you to meet, we never got the chance earlier." Edward told me, wrapping his arm around my waist.  
"Bella, this is Tanya, Kate, Eleazar and Carmen. Everyone, I'd like you to meet my beautiful wife, Bella" If Edward had introduced me in any way other than _my beautiful wife, _my self-esteem would have taken a serious blow when I saw Tanya, the woman who had wanted my Edward.

_Tanya was every bit as lovely as my worst nightmares had predicted. She eyed me with a look that was much more speculative than it was resigned, and then reached out to take my hand._

_"Welcome to the family, Bella." She smiled, a little rueful. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family, and I am sorry about the, er, recent incident when we did not behave as such. We should have met you sooner. Can you forgive us?"_

_"Of course," I said breathlessly. "It's so nice to meet you."_

The Denali's left soon after, giving us time with our family before we left.

"Bye, Sweetheart, we'll see you when you get back" Esme murmured as she hugged me.  
"Bye, Esme" I whispered, "Thank you so much"  
"That's just fine, darling."  
I said good-bye to the rest of the Cullen's, blushing again when Emmett told me to _have fun_, with a wink.

"Oh, Bella. I wish I had more time to explain everything to you!" Renee cried, hugging me tightly.  
"Don't worry, Mom, I'll figure it out" I told her, trying to make light of what she'd said, but my eyes got watery, _I wish we had more time too.  
_"Where's dad?" I asked.  
"He's by the door, sweety." I kissed my mom and Phil on the cheek and went to go find Charlie.

"I'll miss you, dad" I whispered, hugging him to me.  
"I'll miss you too, kid" Not many words needed to be said between my father and I, we were both emotionally awkward. I gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek and told him that I loved him before I walked out the front door, meeting Edward on the top step.  
"Are you ready?" Edward asked, bending down to peck me on the lips before he raced me to the car – shielding me from the rice storm. As we pulled away from the driveway, I looked back and saw everyone waving us on, I saw The Cullen's, everyone with their arms around their mate, smiling and waving to the back of Edward's Volvo. And then I saw my mom, with Phil's arms around her, she was holding Charlie's hand, waving wildly.  
I turned back around and softly wiped the tear that had fallen, "Are you alright, love?"  
"Yes," I whispered, not bothering to talk any louder, "I'm very happy" I smiled, "It was just hard to say goodbye to my parents." Edward lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it, caressing it with his breath.

"Are you ready to start your new life as my wife, Mrs Cullen?" Edward asked, we had just arrived at Port Angeles Airport and I _still_ didn't know where we were going.  
"More than I've ever been, Mr Cullen" I smiled and reached up, kissing him, "Are you?"  
"I was ready the first day I realised my feelings for you, love." he responded, pulling me closer to him, his hands tracing my sides. "Come on, we need to catch our plane."

"Are you going to tell me where we're going yet?" I asked, as Edward waited for our tickets to be given to us.  
"It's a surprise, you're not going to know until we get there, sorry." He smirked, I pouted and folded my arms across my chest, leaning against the counter.  
When the lady came back – a woman who seemed about 23 years old, she seemed to have forgotten that I was standing next to Edward, it was as if she only had eyes for him, she was flirty and friendly and everything else that set me on edge. By the time she had given us our tickets – or rather, given Edward two tickets, I was clenching my teeth and sending her death glares.

"Have a lovely trip" The lady said to only Edward, I huffed and let him lead me away, pouting slightly.  
"You're cute when you're jealous" He whispered, pulling me to him and kissing my neck.  
"She was flirting with you, you're _mine_" I growled.  
"Always and forever" He told me, I smiled and kissed his lips, winding my arms around his neck, Edward deepened the kiss – I lost the control that he had, tangling my hands in his hair, messing it up.  
I broke away panting, "I love you" Edward murmured close to my ear.  
"That's why we're here" I threw his own words back at him, and heard him chuckle lightly before leading me away, I followed dazed.

[Author Note: Excerpts from Breaking Dawn are in _italics_, I hope I did this okay, I loved the Wedding chapter from the book, so I didn't want to change it too much. But in this one, Jacob doesn't visit because him and Bella aren't as close as in the book. But he will be back DONT WORRY!]


	21. You're Sent From Heaven

Chapter 20 – You're Sent From Heaven.

Right on time somebody passed my way.  
And suddenly there was that smile.  
Like a sunset.  
You open up my eyes.  
So that everything was clear.  
And to my big surprise.  
I'm feeling so alive, I'm feeling so free.  
Something beautiful, inescapable has happened to me.

Fantasies are running through my mind.  
Unspoken words that love will say.  
You give me wings and you make me fly.  
You touch my hand and I can touch the sky.  
I lost my faith and you gave it back to me.  
Magic every time cause I feel so right when you look at me.

You are the light in the dark.  
Every time I am around you, you fill up my heart.  
Without you I'm a woman alone.  
Holding on to nothing but our love is strong.  
We are holding on.

You're sent from heaven.  
You're sent from heaven.  
Oh I can see it, I can see it, I can feel it.  
I can see it in your eyes, see it in your smile.  
All the things you do, if you only knew.  
I can see it in your eyes, see it in your smile.  
All the things you do, you're heaven.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

"Love, wake up" Edward called softly, I yawned, feeling myself rock side to side and the wind against my face, startled, I shot up.  
"Oh," I murmured when I realised that we were still on our way to our mysterious honeymoon.  
"We're here, Bella" Edward told me, I yawned again and stood up from my seat, going to stand next to Edward, I looked out across the water but couldn't see anything – it was pitch black, the dead of night.  
"I don't see anything" I mumbled, trying to focus more closely, "Oh wait" I said, seeing white-caps breaking on a surface nearby.  
"We're spending our honeymoon on an island?" I asked, shocked, when he'd taken me to the fancy speed boat – obviously meant for speed and not luxury, I thought he was taking me to the next city over, a faster way than driving.  
"Yes, welcome to Isle Esme" Edward whispered, kissing my shoulder.  
"Isle _Esme_?" I asked, had Esme bought herself an _island_?  
"A gift from Carlisle" he quickly explained, moving the boat forward, slower than when we'd first started.  
"Wow" I whispered, so Edward had learned his tendency to give extravagant gifts from his father? I shook my head slightly, a sports car I could understand, but an i_sland_? _A whole island_?  
It only took 5 minutes to get to the side of the island that had the dock.  
I gasped a little when Edward picked me up in a bridal style before we'd even gotten onto the platform, watching him effortlessly supporting me in one arm while also carrying our suitcases in the other. I kept my eyes on him the whole way up the beach, only looking away when he pointed out the house, one that looked remarkably like the home in forks, instead of being white though – it was brown, and very open, an obvious summer house.  
"It's so beautiful" I gushed, when Edward had set me down inside, he pulled me by the hand through a doorway and stopped in a big white bedroom.  
"Would you like some dinner, love?" he asked, wrapping his hands around my stomach and holding me there. I smiled and turned around, winding my hands around his neck.  
"No," I whispered back, leaning up to place my lips on his – mid kiss, my stomach growled loudly.  
Edward chuckled lightly and pulled back, "You're hungry"  
"I don't want to eat yet" I mumbled, smiling and pulling Edward by the shirt to the bed – I laid down and took him with me as well.  
"So impatient," he smiled, kissing my neck before lifting me off the bed, and to a standing position, I pouted. "Dinner first," he reasoned. I saw his obvious amusement in his eyes, along with nerves – ones that mirrored my own, I was nervous but ready for this.  
"Okay," I said, letting him lead me in the direction of where I guessed the kitchen was, and I was right – it was more modern looking than the one in Forks, equipped with everything that I could ever think of needing.  
"No, you don't" Edward said when I made my way to the fridge to find something easy to cook, "I'm going to cook for you,"  
"You can cook?" I asked, sitting down at the two-person dining table.  
He shrugged in response, "I started teaching myself via the Food Network a couple of weeks ago."  
I nodded my head in understanding, not letting my bitter emotions show, there was still a chance that his cooking wasn't as good as mine, it was unlikely, Edward was perfect in everything he did.  
And once again, I was correct.  
"Damn" I muttered quietly, taking another bite of the chicken Caesar salad that he'd made me.  
"What's wrong? Does it taste bad?" he asked, moving to take the plate back, I quickly stopped him.  
"No, no, it's delicious," I told him, smiling up and taking a sip of my water.  
"Then why..." He trailed off, sitting opposite me.  
"Cooking was the one thing I could do better than you, well _I_ thought so, but now that's _another _thing that just throws us more out of balance." I murmured, finishing off the last of my dinner and standing up, I was about to put my plate in the sink when it disappeared.  
"I want to be a doting husband, my love. I'll do this," he told me, kissing me on the forehead before washing the plate and utensils before I even had time to blink.  
"You're already doting, Edward, I have everything I could ever ask for and so much more." I replied, letting him tow me away.  
"Everything?" He asked while leading me to the back door, that overlooked the ocean, it glimmered in the moonlight.  
"Well," I reasoned, "Not everything"  
"And what else would you like to have, sweetheart?" He asked, wrapping his arms tighter around me. "Name it, and it's yours"  
I smiled and told him, "You"  
He chuckled lightly, but then said more seriously, "Would you be opposed to a swim first?"  
"Won't it be too cold?" I asked hesitantly, the last thing I wanted was to get sick on my honeymoon.  
"The temperature is close to bath water, you'll be no colder than you are, standing here." Edward told me, if what he was saying was true, the water had to be extremely warm, I was perspiring a little bit already.  
"A swim?" I asked rhetorically, nodding.

I was lead then back to the bedroom where our suitcases were, searching through mine, I saw a lot of lingerie and not many items of clothing.  
"Is this some joke?" I asked no one in particular. "Why did she pack all of _these_?" I exclaimed, holding up a nightgown – it was white and almost _completely _transparent. I looked horrified back towards Edward.  
"Don't fret, if you're uncomfortable wearing them, I'm sure there is something in my suitcase that you can sleep in," He countered, walking closer up to me, reaching into my bag, he pulled another nightgown out, it was midnight blue and looked like it was almost skin tight, thankfully this one wasn't nearly as pellucid, the torso was made in a soft mesh type of material – and was see-through, though not as obvious as the white one I'd pulled out, the chest and hips were covered. "I like this one though."  
I blushed a deep crimson and smiled shyly, "You do?"  
"It's very sexy" He whispered, "Lets save that one for later," He said, reaching behind me again to get something else.  
"Will you wear this?" He asked, holding out a plain white bikini, I simply nodded and moved to the bathroom to get changed.

"Wow" Edward murmured, I looked up and saw him staring at me – or rather, my body. Self consciously, I looked down, searching for anything that shouldn't be there, "You're so beautiful"  
I felt my face flush again and smiled, resting my hand on his ice-cold torso. "I need a towel," I told him, but he just simply shook his head, pulling me against him.  
"Edward?"  
"Yes, love?" he asked, tracing the side of my face with his hand.  
"Kiss me?" I suggested, leaning into his hand.  
"Happily," He told me, holding my chin with one of his hands and pressing his lips to mine gently. I reacted immediately, winding my hands in his hair and throwing myself into the kiss, I felt him pick me up and then the rush of wind, I kept my eyes closed and only opened them when I felt water surrounding me, quickly jumping to try to get away from it – until I realised that I was still in Edward's arms, and the water was the same as my body temperature.  
"Wow, it is warm" I appraised.  
"Told you" he murmured in my ear. I sighed contently and rested against his shoulder, closing my eyes. "Don't fall asleep, yet"  
I made some noise, not really sure what I'd said, and kept my eyes closed, tightening my grip on him. I felt the rush of wind again, and would have thought that Edward was taking us back to the house if his cold touch wasn't suddenly gone.  
I only had time to make a small squeak before I fell into the water, I came back to surface panting, and glared in the direction of Edward.  
"What was that for?" I demanded.  
"I needed an effective way of waking you up," he explained, grinning at me, I would have gotten angry at him if he didn't look so amazing and innocent.  
I bit my lip and smiled back at him, rolling my eyes while I tied up my now-wet hair using the elastic that I had around my wrist. "Well, it worked" I noted the obvious. "I think it's only fair that you wet your hair as well, now" I continued, reaching out to him.  
"As you wish" I watched him sink under water, and then instantly felt his lips as he kissed my stomach, making me giggle and try to push him away.  
"Edward!" I yelled, laughing loudly as he shook the water from his hair – splashing me in the face. I quickly responded by trying to splash him in the face with water, but he was too quick and dashed out of the way, picking me up in the next second and spinning me around, making the salt water go everywhere.

We swam for a further 20 minutes before we both decided to go inside.  
"I promised we would try," Edward started, nervously, laying me back on the comfy bed – still in our swimming outfits.  
"Don't be nervous," I whispered, stroking the side of his face, "We belong together."  
"If I hurt you -"  
"You won't" I told him, smiling gently.  
"But _if _I do, you have to tell me straight away, okay?" I nodded and watched his lips as they got closer and closer to mine, smiling lovingly when they finally reached me.  
"I love you," I whispered.  
"As I love you"

When I woke up the next morning, I was a little sore, which was to be expected, what _wasn't_ to be expected was how Edward was treating me.  
"What's the matter?" I asked cautiously, watching him stare at the ceiling, refusing to look at me.  
"I should never have done that to you." He growled, I felt my breath hitch, my chest restricting painfully. "You think it was a mistake" I guessed, sitting up on my elbow, it was a little hard to do, which was strange compared to what I'd always thought would happen, I didn't know my _whole _body would hurt afterwards, I quickly shrugged it off – my mind on more important issues.  
"I'm not sure if mistake is the correct word, selfish – yes, irresponsible – yes, but I don't think I can call it a mistake after I saw how happy you were."  
"If that is so, then can you please cheer up, I don't want to remember my first day as your wife, like this."  
"Take one look at yourself, Bella. And then tell me to be happier with myself." Edward said, confused, I looked down. Slightly lifting up the bed sheet, seeing bruises forming _all _over my body, _everywhere. _I gasped out loud and sat up more, seeing that my arms and chest were also covered in bruises.  
"I'm a monster" Edward groaned, throwing his arm over his face.  
"No you're not" I argued, laying against his chest, trying to pull his arm away from over his eyes, "Look at me, Edward" when he did, I continued, "You're not a monster at all, compared to what _could _have happened, a few bruises is nothing, please don't ruin our honeymoon with this. Besides, I bruise really easily."  
"What do you mean, _what could have happened? _Did you _anticipate_ this? Did you _think_ I would hurt you?"  
"Of course not, how could you say that!" I exclaimed, slapping his chest lightly, not intending to actually hurt him – though I knew I couldn't, "I'm just saying that bruises are better than broken bones."  
"I guess you're right." He relented, I smiled in victory and leant up to kiss him, but he didn't move.  
"Why won't you kiss me back?" I asked, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice, he smiled at me gently and leant down – I closed my eyes, expecting him to give me a kiss on the lips, but opened them and frowned when he only kissed my forehead.  
"You're not going to make love to me again, are you?"  
"Not while your human." he murmured, trying to put an end to the conversation.  
"Was it that bad?" I whispered, quietly.  
"What?" Edward asked sharply, sitting us both up, I quickly scrambled for the bed sheet to cover my chest, feeling self-conscious and trying to hide the bruises from last night.  
"I mean, I knew it would be different for you than it was for me, but was it really that bad, that it would make you not want to touch me until I'm immortal?" I finished, my throat thick.  
"Bella! Of course not!, believe me, I want to. Making love with you was the greatest feeling I've ever felt, it was amazing for me. I can't stand to hurt you again, that's the only reason I won't have sex with you again until you're a vampire."  
"Really?" I asked, doubtful.  
"I'm ruining your morning." Edward whispered, he traced my face with his hand.  
"It's okay" I mumbled, closing my eyes against his hand.

"What would you like to do today, love?" Edward asked as I finished the last of my eggs.  
"Um, can we go explore the island?"  
"Of course, there's a waterfall nearby that I think you'll like." I smiled and made my way back to our bedroom, looking for some suitable clothes to wear.  
I was glad that I found a blue tank top – even though it was more girly than what I was used to wearing, it was light blue and white, and checkered. I pulled on a pair of black shorts, not too happy with how much they revealed, but it was only Edward, he wouldn't care. I tied a pair of brand new black sneakers on my feet and walked out to meet him, tying my hair into a pony tail on the way [on profile].  
I saw Edward grimace when he saw me, I looked down, seeing the bruises that I'd discovered this morning, "It doesn't hurt," I assured him, "They'll be gone in a few days." he just gave me a grim expression and ushered me forward, out the back door.

We made it to the waterfall nearly 30 minutes after we'd left, walking at a human pace so I could take in our surroundings, I only stumbled a handful of times – Edward catching me before I could make any damage.  
"Edward, it's amazing" I smiled, walking forward, closer to the edge, feeling the spray of the water.  
"I know," He murmured, stepping next to me, slinging an arm over my shoulder.

We spent most of the afternoon sitting by the water in comfortable silence, sometimes breaking it to tell each other sweet things.  
My stomach grumbled at what I thought might be dusk by the way the sun was setting.  
"Am I not feeding you enough?" Edward asked after a second grumble.  
"You are, I don't know why I'm hungry again, I ate so much at breakfast _and_ lunch." I felt him move slightly behind me and then handed me a sandwich from the picnic basket that he'd brought with him.  
"Thanks" I said, and almost swallowed it whole.  
We made our way back to the house when the sun had set, arriving in only 5 minutes due to Edward's abilities.  
"What would you like for dinner?" He asked me, setting me on the kitchen bench.  
"What ever is quickest" I told him. I watched him search the cupboards and take out pasta to make.

"Can we watch a movie?" I asked once I'd finished a dinner that looked it was made for two people instead of just me.  
"Of course," Edward said, washing the dirtied dishes.  
We decided to watch _Romeo and Juliet_, and by the time it had ended, I was fast asleep – only waking up when I was shaken from a dream.

It was strange and like nothing I'd ever experienced before – of course because the dream was about a baby, in particular, _my_ baby – which was impossible.  
_  
I held my baby in my arms, she was hiding her face in my hair, I stood in a defensive position, snarling at my family, I was flanked by Rosalie, Esme and Emmett. I'd torn their family apart, turned them against each other in order to save Edward's and my child.  
Alice, Edward and Carlisle had their eyes glued to my darling child, I felt her shiver, and growled in their direction – a warning to keep their distance. Why did I have to protect my child against my family? Especially, Edward? Didn't he want her? It was obvious that he didn't, his responding growl confirmed that – it wasn't aimed at me though, it was aimed at my baby. I heard her sob quietly, clutching at me tighter.  
"Monster" Edward hissed, "Bella, please, she's not normal, she'll kill you."  
"Our baby is not going to hurt me, Edward. Stop this now." I told him, it was obvious that I was still human... with vampire characteristics, I didn't know that was possible.  
"We need to destroy it, before it hurts you even worse, Bella." Carlisle was the one who spoke next, with him referring to my angel as an _it _made me furious, my nostrils flared.  
"You will not touch her." I commanded.  
I saw Alice rub her forehead and throw a glare in the direction of my child, whom remained nameless and faceless to me._

I was thrown out of my dream – or _nightmare _would be a better description, panting and with tears streaming down my face.  
"Love? What's wrong?" Edward exclaimed, moving so quickly that I didn't see him at all. His sudden appearance right in front of my face, sent the Edward from my nightmare back into my mind, I wheeled back in the bed, my heart thumping loudly.  
"Oh!" I cried when I realised what I'd done, "It was just a dream" I told myself, shakily.  
"Bella, what happened?" Edward whispered, cradling me against his chest, making me cry harder.  
"It was just a dream," I repeated, to him this time. "It was so real, though." I sobbed.  
"I'm so sorry, Bella"  
"It was so horrible" I whispered, trying to calm my breathing.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward asked, brushing my hair away from my face. I shook my head, trying to keep my breaths in time with his own.  
We stayed in silence for a further 2 minutes, I felt the need rise inside me – more emotional than it was physical. I quickly wiped my eyes and looked up at the moonlit face of Edward.  
"Are you okay, now?" I nodded and sat up more in his lap.

"I can't, Bella" Edward whispered, holding my face in his hand, stopping my hand from unbuttoning his shirt with the other.  
"Please" I replied, "I need you, Edward"  
It seemed that when he saw my eyes fill up with tears again, his resolve disappeared and he crushed his lips to mine.  
_That was almost too easy_, was my last coherent thought.


	22. Nobody's Home

_Chapter 21 – Nobody's Home._

Be strong, be strong now.

Too many, too many problems.

Don't know where she belongs.

Where she belongs.

She wants to go home.

But nobody's home.

That's where she lies.

Broken inside.

With no place to go.

No place to go.

To dry her eyes.

Broken inside.

Her feelings, she hides.

Her dreams, she can't find.

She's losing her mind.

She's falling behind.

She can't find her place.

She's losing her faith.

She's falling from grace.

She's all over the place, yeah.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

_**Mrs Cullen,**_

_**I've gone to the mainland to hunt, I'll be back before you know it.**_

_**Your Edward.**_

I yawned and stretched, feeling my muscles unlock.

"Good Morning." I yelped and sprung up in my bed, clutching at the sheets around my chest.

"Who are you? What are you doing in my house!" I exclaimed, staring bewildered at the woman who stood in the corner of the room I was in, she had pale blonde hair – almost silver, and it hung deadly straight to her chin, what caught my eye about her, was that her skin was pale, even lighter than her hair, and her eyes were gold.

"As I recall, this is Esme's house, not yours." The woman said, her voice tinkling like bells and chimes – like all of the women vampire's that I knew.

"Who are you?" I asked again, feeling my heart race, _her eyes are gold – she's a good vampire. _I kept trying to tell myself, though her posture made her feel threatening to me, the way she was slightly hunched.

"My name is Irina," she told me, moving forward a tiny bit and tilting her head.

"Irina," I repeated for my own benefit, _a member of the Denali coven. _"Are you here to see Edward?" I asked, after a moment of silence, did the woman know that it was our honeymoon? Or did the common rules of courtesy not apply in the vampire world?

"No, no. I'm here to see you." I stiffened but tried to act casually, why would she be here to see me? I've never met her, then it dawned on me, maybe she's here to apologise for not attending the wedding. I smiled, but stopped when she returned it with a wicked one.

"Why?" I asked, my throat made me sound like I was choking.

"Why don't you go and get dressed first, I'm sure you're uncomfortable." She suggested, raising an eyebrow at the sheet that was still clutched around my body.

I cleared my throat and slid off the bed, trying to keep my sheet around me as much as I could as I walked into the bathroom and dragged my suitcase with me.

5 minutes later, I walked back out into the room, wearing a pair of knee length grey shorts that had a stripe pattern and a short sleeved white and black flannelette shirt [on profile]– having brushed and tied up my hair, washed my face and did every other time consuming thing to try and avoid coming back out of the bathroom.

When I did leave the room, I had almost convinced myself that Irina had been a dream, and that she wouldn't be waiting for me – even if she only wanted to apologise to me, something about that woman set me on edge.

I cleared my throat awkwardly, seeing Irina glance at me as if I'd pulled her from a thought, I noticed my cardigan in her arms.

"Excellent," she murmured, throwing my cardigan to me, "Put it on"

Confused, I put the cardigan on and waited for her to speak.

"It seems we have a problem, Bella." She started, "Your husband, Edward, killed my Laurent." I felt my body freeze.

"What?" I choked out, "Edward didn't kill Laurent" I mumbled, automatically coming to his defence.

"In extension he did, you see, Victoria sent Laurent back to check on you – to see if you were still under the protection of The Cullen's, but when he didn't return, Victoria went looking for him, and learned that he was _ripped_ to shreds by those mutts you like to keep company with." I faintly heard a growling from the other room, but shook my head, writing it off. "It was your Edward, who started this, you see, he killed James – Victoria's mate, and is the reason why those dogs were on their land – protecting it, they left, and let my Laurent get murdered!" she took a few calming breaths and started to pace the floor, "I was prepared to forgive The Cullen's, after all they were our cousins in so many ways, but that was until Victoria opened my eyes to the betrayal and hurt they caused me, she thinks it's a good way to get back at Edward, make him suffer the same way he made both Victoria and I. I'm going to kidnap you, not kill you. It will destroy Edward to know that you're out there somewhere, suffering." A sadistic smile stretched over Irina's beautiful features, I swallowed the lump in my throat, _is this some sick joke?_

"Edward will be back soon, I don't think he would like you speaking to me this way." I whispered, trying to speak evenly, even though my heart was vibrating my chest.  
"Even more reason to hurry then, I don't want to have to kill him before he has time to mourn over you." she quickly waved me forward with her hands, but I moved back, folding my arms across my chest nervously.

"I'm not going anywhere, this is my honeymoon!" I said in exasperation.

"I thought you were going to say that, Victoria told me that you were stubborn." I stiffened at the mention of Victoria, the red-headed vampire that had tried to kill me on a number of occasions.

"Don't fear her, dear. She's not coming back for you anymore, she's passed that pleasure on to me."

"You won't hurt me, you wouldn't hurt the –" I cut myself off, bringing my hand down onto the door frame that I'd backed into, trying to steady myself. I took a few deep breaths to try and force back down the sudden bile that had risen from my stomach.

"What are you –" Irina stopped speaking when I made a gag-like sound and ran for the bathroom, glad that I'd made it in time to empty my already-empty stomach.

I stood panting over the basin of the bathroom sink, confused – I didn't remember eating anything today, especially anything that would have made me sick, maybe you're just upset because Irina is here.

I washed my face and turned around, ready to walk out to her again, but she was already standing in the doorway.

"William!" Irina called, I stopped retreating further into the bathroom and stood still, _someone else is here? _"Bella, meet William, he's a werewolf."

"A _werewolf_?" I repeated, as far as I had been told and as many of the legends and tales that I'd been told, vampire's and wolves had _always_ been enemies.

"I am" the deep rumbling voice confirmed, it reminded me somewhat of Jacob Black, my ex-best friend.

"Would you mind escorting Bella outside? We need to leave." Irina asked William as if I wasn't even in the room. I stiffened when he approached me, his arms out as a sort of barricade as if I'd be able to escape them.

"It'll only hurt more if you keep struggling," William told me, as I fought against his iron-grasp hold on me, I winced when his hands tightened around my arms.

"No!" I screamed, trying to kick back at him, tears streaking my cheeks.

"This isn't going to work, she'll be too loud, we can't risk Edward hearing her."

The last thing I felt was a pressure point of my neck being pressed painfully, then everything went black.

_Edward will come, Edward will save me. _

_**[Author Note: Sorry that this chapter is so short,this story is basically over... I'll do 1 more chapter... maybe 2, actually, maybe 3, just to show how the Cullen's react and everything. I wanted to end it on Drama so that I can have a sequel :)]**_


	23. I Believe

_Chapter 22: I Believe_

I believe for every drop of rain that falls  
A flower grows,  
I believe that somewhere in the darkest night  
A candle glows,  
I believe for everyone who goes astray  
Someone will come to show the way,  
I believe, I believe.

I believe above the storm a smallest prayer  
Will still be heard,  
I believe that someone in the great somewhere  
Hears every word,  
Everytime I hear a newborn baby cry,  
Or touch a leaf, or see the sky,  
Then I know why,  
I believe.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

"Is it really necessary to tie her up?" I heard a deep voice say. "It's not like she can escape."  
"I won't risk _anything,_ I want him to suffer like I have." A female voice responded, chimes and bells - like every other melodic voice I've ever heard, the tone of this angelic voice set me on edge.  
"I thought you'd moved on," the rumbling voice was quiet, but still managed to sound bitter.  
"I have," the woman said, without missing a beat - almost as if she was expecting him to say that. "I don't think he should get away with what he did, do you?" she added, almost fiercely.  
"Of course I don't" the man relented.  
"Thank you for understanding, William." The lady crooned. _William, _I thought, and instantly the image of a menacing looking Indian man standing in the house in Isle Esme came back to me. I stiffened, my breathing stopping. Another image of the woman he was with - Irina, her beautiful face twisted in hate, anger, heartbreak.  
"I think she heard you." William spoke again.  
"Let her," Irina said, "what is she going to do? Against a vampire _and _a shapeshifter. She has no chance."  
I whimpered, Irina's words echoing in my head, _she has no chance...__  
_"We should get going," William cut in, I heard Irina sigh.  
"You're probably right," she mumbled, "your precious Edward must be almost back to Esme's island by now." _Edward..._ I sobbed, _Edward will come for me. He'll find me, he'll follow my scent - Alice will see a vision of this happening, they'll know exactly where to go._ I let myself believe this for a second, not thinking about the fact that I was with a vampire that knows everything about the Cullen family and their abilities and a dangerous werewolf and that both could kill me in a second if I got too much to handle. Slowly, I felt myself relax as much as I could in the situation, wiping away my tears and ignoring the all too familiar ache in my chest.

An hour later, my eyes had been shielded, but I hadn't been taken to a car like I expected I would be, I was slung over something huge and furry - instinctively I started kicking and thrashing, trying to get away from the furry thing.  
"It's William." Irina scoffed, slowly I stopped my movements and quickly held the fur a little too tightly when I felt the wolf move.  
The wind was whipping my hair around my face for what felt like hours, finally, I felt William slowing to a stop, I was pulled upright by Irina and my blindfold taken off.  
I let my eyes adjust for a few seconds before I realised that we were standing in front of an Airport, I felt myself gasp. _They're taking me somewhere that needs an airplane?  
__  
__"Good Morning Passengers, welcome aboard to American Airlines, we will be taking off in approximately 10 minutes, arriving in Denali, Alaska in 6 hours and 24 minutes." _The air hostess said, I gasped, _Alaska? We're going to Alaska? _  
I saw Irina give me a look from the corner of my eye, probably hearing my erratic heartbeat, I decided to voice my question – _what was the worst that could happen?  
_"We're going to Alaska?" I asked dumbly, _of course we were_. She just nodded. "Why? The rest of your family lives there," I decided to leave out the part that Edward and the rest of my family could be there – sharing the news of my disappearance with Irina's family. _Or maybe Edward hasn't noticed yet._ A small voice in the back of my mind told me.  
"Enough questions." The vampire said, in a tone that told me she'd had enough of my talking.  
I kept quiet the rest of the trip, only speaking to tell them that I needed to go to the bathroom. Why provoke them?

"Stay quiet and follow us." William commanded in a deep voice, making me shiver. I walked between both of them, Irina holding my arm in what would seem like a friendly gesture to any onlooker, but to me it was threatening and tight, almost freezing my arm with her unnatural temperature.  
I took a deep shuddery breath and tried to think of all the positives of being in Alaska, the Cullens used to live there, it's closer to Forks than when I was taken on Isle Esme. Denali is where Irina's family live, surely if they saw that Irina had gone rogue, then they'd call Edward and try to help them save me. I took another – smoother deep breath, feeling better about the whole situation. _Tanya will see me, she'll call Carlisle. _I repeated this in my head the whole way to Irina's car.  
_Tanya will see me, she'll call Carlisle._ "Where are we going?" I asked. No answer.  
_Tanya will see me, she'll call Carlisle._ "This isn't going to work, Edward will find me." Ignored.  
_Tanya will see me, she'll call Carlisle._ "Why me?" Ignored again, William turned the radio on softly, trying to drown out my voice.  
I gave up soon after the radio came on, settling back into my seat – there was no reason to keep complaining when it wouldn't get me anywhere.

** Alice's POV**

I'd been trying to steer clear of visions involving Edward and Bella, to try to give them some privacy for the duration of their Honeymoon – but this one was out of my control, what usually happens when someone's future disappears, is I'm thrown into a vision – one that I cannot get out of. The vision is usually the final moments of the person's future until it disappears.

_Bella was tossing and turning in her sleep, momentarily relaxing as I saw Edward stroke her hair and write a note to her to tell her that he had gone hunting, I watched as he kissed her forehead lovingly and moved slowly from the bed as to not wake her.  
The hours after Edward left, Bella started tossing again – obviously distressed, slowly she came out of her sleep._ – that's where the blurry vision faded into blackness. Nothingness.

The moment I came back to reality, I was dialing Edwards cell phone.  
"Alice?" He answered on the first ring.  
"Get back to Bella" I ordered without wasting any time.  
"I'm hunting; I'll be back to her soon." Edward explained, usually I would have understood – and not even bothered calling him, Bella's safety was all of our main priorities, so if Edward needed to leave her for a few hours, so be it.  
"You don't understand, her future just dis-" He cut me off, clearly panicked.  
"What?" He asked sharply, "What did you see?"  
"_Nothing_, Edward, it disappeared!" I exclaimed, "I saw her tossing and turning when you left to go hunt, and then she woke up – and _nothing_." I sighed, frustrated.  
"Oh god." Edward gasped, "I'll call you when I get there." He told me, I could already hear the wind in the background as he ran back towards Isle Esme.

It took almost an hour before Edward finally called, during that time I'd called the whole family together and explained what had happened, not that I had much to go on. I could only tell them that Bella's future had disappeared, but everyone knew what it meant when that happened – as rare as it was.  
"She… Sh-She's gone." Edward spoke in broken whispers. I heard the roar of the family speed boat as he left Isle Esme.  
"You'll find her" I assured him, casting a worried look to our family.  
"Wait" Edward said, suddenly alert.  
"What?" I asked, when he didn't answer, I almost yelled, "_What Edward?_"  
"I think I have a trail." He sounded exhilarated. I put my cell phone on loud speaker and focused on Edward, closing my eyes and clearing my mind.

_Edward left the speed boat at the local dock on the mainland of Rio, tying it loosely to the buoy before running off towards the dock manager.  
"Sir, have you seen this woman?" Edward had pulled out a detailed drawing of Bella that he had done while driving the boat. It looked remarkably like her.  
"Yes, I have, she walked that way with a woman and man." He spoke in a Portuguese tongue, gesturing to the way he'd seen Bella go.  
Edward barely said a thank you before he was racing as fast as he could without attracting too much attention to himself._

"Go to the Mainland!" I exclaimed to Edward, "the Dock Manager has seen her! Draw a portrait of Bella."  
"Thank you Alice" I heard the engine roar louder as Edward reached the highest speed of the boat, the waves crashing in the background.  
We all listened as he spoke to the man I'd seen in my vision, and then waited impatiently as he raced through the busy streets of Rio.  
"I'll call you if I get anywhere." Edward said absentmindedly, and hung up the cell phone.

Immediately I was checking my visions of him, I saw Edward running all over Rio, looking for any trace of Bella, any slight hint that she could have been there – always coming up short. Nothing.

I let myself drift back into the present, giving a sad smile to my family members before I walked out into the backyard, down towards the river. My mind never leaving Bella, _what if she's hurt? What if she's lost? Is she even alive?_ I felt myself heading towards hysteria, just as I was about to get up to shake off my thoughts, I felt the calming waves of Jasper, I smiled to myself – turning to face him.  
"Thank you" I told him as soon as I saw him, resting my head on his chest and wrapping my arms around his waist, holding myself to him tightly. "I'm so worried about her" I said calmly, letting Jasper's gift take over me.  
"I know you are, she's your best friend" Jasper soothed, rubbing my back softly.  
"She's my sister" I corrected weakly, sighing sadly.  
"She's my sister as well" he told me, "but she'll be fine, Edward will find her – you know he won't stop until he does."  
I nodded, letting myself believe Jasper's words, Edward loves Bella, he'll find her, he'll bring my sister back.  
I buried a sob in the back of my throat, and cleared it softly, "I'm going to go hunt" I announced, unwrapping myself from Jazz's arms.  
"Would you like me to join you?" He offered, I shook my head gently and smiled at him before turning around, to jump over the river.  
"I'd rather have some time to myself, I'll be back soon." I took off, jumping the river in one swift movement, "I love you" I spoke a little louder, knowing he'd be able to hear me – and feel the truth behind my words.

I'd been hunting for almost 45 minutes when the vision hit me.  
_Bella was cowering in the corner of an abandoned house, she was wearing clothes that I'd packed for her, her breath was shallow, and she was holding her stomach – almost possessively. There was a blanket covering her to stop her from shivering and she coughed every several seconds, her skin was paler than usual.  
This vision was harder to see, like it was blurred around the edges, no matter how hard I concentrated, I couldn't see a clear picture. Something that was rare.  
Bella groaned and tried to sit up straighter, but gave up when the rope that was tying her to the ground wouldn't give. She softly whimpered Edward's name before the vision of her started fading, blurring and darkening until there was nothing._

I thought back to the vision that I'd just seen, Bella was still alive – that's a good start, she was scared and seemed to be alone in an abandoned house – at least, alone for the moment. I thought about the room she was in, the faded curtains, the chest of drawers and black floral bed cover that had just started to collect dust. It was the black lush soft looking carpet and the stylish bright red rug covering most of the floor that caught my attention – spiking my memory about why it'd caught my attention in the first place. Denali.

I gasped aloud and immediately ran as fast as I could back to the others, pulling out my cell phone as I did.  
"Yes, Alice?" Edward answered on the first ring.  
"I know where Bella is!"

[Author note: I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update! I had no idea how to write this chapter, and I really don't think I've done it justice. So please review and let me know what you think, hopefully the next few chapters will be better. Xx]


	24. Glory of Love

**Chapter 23: Glory of Love**

Tonight it's very clear, as we're both standing here,  
there's so many things I want to say  
I will always love you, I will never leave you alone.

Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret,  
it breaks my heart to see you crying.  
I don't want to lose you,  
I could never make it alone.

I am a man who would fight for your honor,  
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of.  
We'll live forever,knowing together  
that we did it all for the glory of love.

You keep me standing tall, you help me through it all,  
I'm always strong when you're beside me.  
I have always needed you,  
I could never make it alone.

-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

I was woken in the early hours of the morning by a loud bang, followed by hushed whispers outside my door.  
"...uncontrollable... go to the Volturi... illegal..." I only caught snippets of what Irina was saying, but it was enough to make me worry. _Was having a vampire child illegal?_ Edward and I had never spoken about this, why would we?  
I felt my stomach, whispering soothing words although the child was too undeveloped to understand that I was talking. "It's okay, I won't let anything happen to us" It was an empty promise but it still made me feel better, I felt a small kick in my stomach, harder than what I would have thought possible. I gasped quietly but the whispers outside the door stopped instantly, in the next second the door opened, and I saw the outline of Irina walk through the threshold.  
"What happened?" She asked in a bored tone.  
"Nothing, it kicked" I said quietly.  
"Right." she replied, "get up, we're leaving Denali"

I sat in the back of the car for what felt like hours but in reality would have only been 30 minutes before we arrived at the International Airport. I froze, my heart skipping a beat slightly.  
"Where are we going?" I asked, but no body answered me. My breathing started to become erratic, and I had to take deep breaths to help get my control back. _Edward will still find me, Alice will see that Irina made the decision to go overseas, she will tell him, he will come. _I repeated this in my head until I almost believed it, and begrudgingly followed Irina into the Airport, William never more than 30 centimetres from me.  
William and I hung back as Irina went to talk to the hostess to get last minute tickets to wherever they were taking me, I watched closely, trying to read the hostesses lips, but she was talking through a tight smile, obviously Irina was being persistant. She came back with 3 tickets, telling us that we had 30 minutes to board.

The flight took 11 hours, and by the time the plane landed, I was stiff, sore and tired. Irina brought the car around while William stayed with me, when the Mercedes pulled up under the car port in front of William and I, I saw that Irina was driving but she wasn't alone, there was somebody in the passenger seat holding her hand. I tensed, hesistant of the stranger, until his window rolled down and I saw his face - his beautiful wonderful face, my whole world seemed to fall back into place and I fought against the hold that William had on my arm, calling out Edward's name.  
"Love, I'm so glad you're okay, but I'm going to need you to get into the car" he said and the next second he had somehow manoeuvred himself so he was sitting behind the drivers seat, I also saw that he wasn't _holding_ Irina's hand so much as restraining her. She whimpered in pain as her arm was twisted at an unnatural angle. "Dog, get in the passengers seat, and let go of my wife's arm before I break yours off."  
I shivered at the threat he sent to William, but ran to the seat next to Edward as soon as my arm was released, sobbing I crushed face against his chest. He murmured soothing words to me, patting my hair as I tried to get my emotions in check but as soon as I'd look up at his face again, it'd bring on another round of sobs.  
"T-thank god you found me" I whispered, I heard Irina scoff from the front and then whimper again as Edward tightened his grip on her arm.  
"I'll always find you, love" he whispered back, kissing my forehead, and then my cheeks, and then my nose. Just as he was about to touch my lips with his, he pulled up short, "What is that noise?"  
I cleared my throat, and looked him straight in the eyes, "don't freak out, Edward" he didn't say anything, just waited with furrowed eyebrows. "but..." I trailed off, pulling my t-shirt tighter over my rounded belly. I heard him gasp and then Irina scream, the car swerved as she fought for control with now only one arm.  
"What have you done to her?" He growled, his eyes black.  
"Edward no, listen to me, they haven't done anything to me." I told him, pulling his face to look at me, "this here," I patted my stomach, "is ours, he's ours Edward"  
"No," he shook his head, "no, this isn't possible, Bella"  
"It is," I argued, "it's happened. We're having a baby" he stayed quiet after that, occasionally I would hear him muttering to himself, but it was always too low for me to hear, and no one else ever commented on what he was saying. I let the subject drop for the moment, all that mattered was that I was safe in Edwards arms again.

"Stop the car" Edward instructed after about half an hour of driving, the car slowed to a halt on the deserted highway, and all three of them got out of the car, I was about to protest when Edward told me he would only be 2 seconds. I saw some strong words being exchanged and about 1 minute later, Irina and William took off running in the opposite direction that we were going, Edward got into the drivers seat and told me that I could get into the passenger seat if I wished to.  
"What's happening now?" I asked quietly, taking hold of his free hand as he drove us back towards the airport.  
"We're going home" he told me smiling as he kissed the back of my hand, I could see that his eyes were guarded still.  
"It's going to be okay" I told both him and my baby.  
"I know, love"

I wasn't expecting a huge welcome at the Cullen home, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't expecting something, well, just anything except what I did get. I didn't think my belly was that noticable, then I suppose I should have realised that nothing goes unnoticed when you live in a house full of vampires. I didn't get any hello's, no welcome back's, no I'm glad you're okay's, not even any smiles, all I received were stares; bewildered stares. The first one to recover was, of course, Carlisle.  
"Bella, darling, it's so good to see you. We were so worried" he told me, hugging me tightly but being careful not to touch my stomach at all.

When everyone had said their hellos, Carlisle ushered us all into the dining room to discuss the current situation.

"Okay, Bella..." he trailed off, unsure how to begin. "What happened?" he finally asked.  
"Um," I started, blushing before I'd even said anything "I'm pregnant"  
"We understand that," he told me patiently, "we can hear the fetuses heartbeat, what we would like to know is how this happened."  
"Well..." I started again, my face flushing for a second time, "Edward and I had our honeymoon... and... um... now I'm pregnant" I hid my face, sure that Emmett would make a joke to embarrass Edward and myself, but he stayed silent, it was Edward who broke it.  
"It isn't possible though, is it Carlisle?"  
"I didn't think so, but we have proof here that something did happen, so I'm going to need to research this." he mused, "a few questions first, if you don't mind, Bella?" I shook my head.  
"First, are you okay? Physically and mentally? Irina didn't hurt you at all?" I shook my head again, "Alice, can you please go get Bella some food?"  
"I'm not hungry" I mumbled  
"You should still eat, shock should be settling over you soon if it hasn't already"  
"I'm fine, really" I protested, shrugging my shoulders.  
"Love, please?" Edward asked, putting his hand gently on my leg, I held his hand in both of mine and nodded.

"I've done as many tests as I can, but I haven't gotten anywhere!" Carlisle sighed, I smiled gently at him, as I absentmindedly stroked my stomach.  
"It'll be okay, everythings going to work out. You'll see"  
"I don't think you understand the complications, Bella" Carlisle told me softly, and preceded to tell me all of the things that could go wrong. I knew what he was doing, he was trying to make me frightened so I would want to give up my baby, in the end all it did was make me scared for Edward and my child's safety. Esme burst threw the door a second later, almost taking it off its hinges, though she didn't seem to notice.  
"I've found something!" she exclaimed, a moment later, the rest of the Cullens were standing around waiting to hear, Edward by my side with his arm around my waist. As Esme read out a story of a half human/half vampire baby born to a human mother, I heard the others in the room making sounds of worry, amazement and others that I couldn't distinguish, Edward stayed tense at my side until the story was over.  
"I know what you're all thinking, but I am still going through with this pregnancy" Edward groaned next to me, burying his head in my hair.  
"Baby, I don't think you understand the consequences of the choice you're making" he whispered softly to me. I sighed and pulled away so he would look at me.  
"There is no choice, Edward." I told him, "this is our child, I want him"  
"It isn't a _he_, Bella" he said seriously, "it's a monster, and it's going to kill you if we don't get it out of you" I gasped and stared at him for a few seconds to see if he was going to take it back, and when he didn't, I got up and walked out of the room, ignoring the protests I heard from behind me.  
"Bella, wait!" Edward was calling from behind me, "Love!"  
"What?" I asked, turning around to face him.  
"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings" he told me, taking my face in his hands "but I can't have that thing hurting you"  
I pulled away from him roughly, "that _thing_?" I glared at him before stalking off towards his room, locking the door. Thankfully he had the sense not to come after me.

**[[Author Note: Okay guys, here is the chapter, I know I haven't updated in way too long, but I'm on holidays for 2 weeks, and I'm planning on spending majority of it catching up with these stories. Tell me what you thought of it! REVIEW! Love love xx]]**


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